Author: evetureknaturephotography@gmail.com

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Just be you

Okay, God, I have a question. Say you feel you have been wronged, maybe not in a huge way, but still…what are we, what am I, supposed to do? Here is what I usually do–I get upset at first, and then I try to just let it go. I rarely confront, I rarely challenge the behavior, I rarely stand up, or at least, not for myself. I have  a friend who says, you teach people how to treat you. So I am always also thinking of how I want to be treated. So the Golden Rule rules, right? And that means walking away, right?

Let Me ask you a question in turn. If you offended a friend, wouldn’t you want that friend to tell you? Or if you made a genuine mistake, wouldn’t you want to know?

Well, yes. But I am not talking about a friend. The thing I am talking about now is literally a person I don’t know personally. I feel taken advantage of in one sense, and then in another, maybe what happened is okay. Maybe it will work out okay.

But you will never know that without bringing it up, without bringing the situation to light. And yet you think I would want you to keep silent. Keeping the peace and holding the peace doesn’t always mean silence. Sometimes it means having courage to speak, to say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes. Sometimes it takes asking a hard question and being willing to wait for the answer, and then having the courage and discernment to ascertain whether the answer is truthful, or a deliberate lie, or a misunderstanding, or a mixing of all of that.

I think I was schooled for silence.

Many have been. But silence is not necessarily a virtue. Remember, My Word says, there is a time to keep silence AND a time to speak. I think this is a time to speak, for you. HOW you speak is the issue. Do you speak respectfully? Do you judge in advance or do you go into the conversation willing to both speak and listen? The answers to these questions will tell you, first, what is in your heart, and second, where you need to ask for My help.

So, Lord, here is the situation–as if You didn’t already know! Someone used one of my photos in a publication. My name is there–tiny. And they might have gotten that photo from someone else I DID give images to, with permission to publish, but it is not at all clear to me that is what happened, or how it happened. And in any case, I did not give explicit permission to these folks to publish it. On the other hand–I always can see another side–the credit is good, and I wouldn’t mind the chance to legitimately work with these folks and supply photographs. But not without permission, and not without some arrangement in writing. Is that wrong to ask for? I feel torn. If I make a stink, then I might never have a chance to work with or for these folks. If I keep quiet like nothing happened…well that doesn’t seem right, or fair to me, either. And that certainly wouldn’t give me opportunities!

Of course it is not wrong! For one thing, this is your livelihood. For another, I have told you that now is your time to shine, not to hide. Keeping silent in this case would be hiding. Make the call. Be yourself–not your apologetic, this-must-somehow-be-my-fault self. Your authentic self. Try it now. Take a breath. What would you say?

I think I would ask to speak to someone in charge, say who I am, and say I have questions about how my photograph was used, where they received it from, just needing to understand the sequence of events. And depending on how I am answered, then I would like to open a door for them to see more of my portfolio. But not for free, for the same renumeration others receive.

So what is wrong, or confrontational about that? Remember the Third Way. Neither the aggressor, nor the victim. If you go in peace, with peace in your heart, you can open many doors. The issue for you isn’t whether to be a peacemaker; that is who you are. The issue is are you willing to speak up at all?

Yes, Lord, I think I am. I think I need to be. Thank You.

Remember, I Am with you in everything, great and small, hard and easy. You can do this, on your terms. Just be you.

 

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Waiting

Lord, the days are getting longer now. Little by little and day by day, more light. Thank You for Your promises of freshness. Even more than any kind of vacation, I have been longing to feel fresh here. Here on the Outer Banks, here at home. I know I won’t go with fresh eyes or the ability to be inspired anywhere else until I can be refreshed here. Then, anywhere I go will be fresh, because I will be fresh, I will be bringing a refreshed perspective to each day.

My Birth appeared ordinary–not to Mary and Joseph, and not to the shepherds–but to everyone else around that night. I was hidden in plain sight until the time was right. There were hints and glimpses, but the full picture wasn’t shown until many years later. And even then, it was not fully understood by the world at large. So I well understand waiting and timing. Bread, leavened, still takes time to rise. Still takes time to bake. Then it becomes food for the world.

Waiting is never easy. And you are waiting not for a resuming of something already experienced, already known, but for something as yet unrealized in your life and therefore unimagined. You keep saying, I can’t imagine, and that’s true. The first gate we will open together is that gate, the Gate of Imagination. Your writer-self needs this. You are picturing a rusty farm gate, squeaky rusty hinges, long neglected. As if somehow you should have known it was here and been using this gate all along. But the Gate we will open together is new, easy to swing, and high. It opens onto a world the likes of which–pun intended–you have never imagined. That is the whole point. This is a Gift you are now ready for. This isn’t a territory you have neglected. It is only now being readied for you, because you are now ready to receive it, prepared to explore it, able to actually occupy it, settle in and live here. There is a big sign on the Gate: Welcome Home.

But it’s not Heaven. I mean, it’s here!

It is Here. It is your next chapter. Your next level. Your next phase of being with Me, in your world.

And this is meant for daily? For every day?

You cannot understand until you experience. All you have to do is wait. You are already ready. I have seen to that. The time you will need to live this out–I have already seen to that, too. No, no this doesn’t come at the price of your health.  This is pure and undiluted delight that will give new color and shape and breath to everything you do. This is like breathing fresh air after being cooped up inside a stuffy stale room. Each full breath actually increases your capacity to breathe deeper and fuller yet.

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Touch and Go

Julia Cameron says we should write in the morning, and for the past 16 years, I have done just that. I like starting the day with a clean slate, remembering who I am, who You are. I like setting my inner compass for the day, and I definitely feel more centered and less rushed when I take that morning time. But I have to admit, thanks to this blog, I am liking my times of writing in the evening, too. I haven’t sat to write at night like this for years and years, maybe 30 or more. There is something about ending the day with a clean slate, too. But I don’t always find time to do both. Sometimes, especially if I missed the morning pages for some reason, I find myself rushing here at night, and rushing is not my best pace, where these pages are concerned. I do better to amble on paper than dash.

You do better to amble through life than dash, too — but sometimes, dashing is necessary, and dashing here is better than not coming here at all.

Sometimes I feel like a pilot practicing touch-and-go’s; I am not really seeing the scenery, and I am not fully landing!

But practice for the sake of practice can be beneficial, too, and that is one lesson you are learning now. Sometimes it is enough to, as you say, “just show up.” What have you learned by just showing up?

I have learned that You are always, always here. I get afraid I will be met with silence. I get afraid that our connection is lost, that I have lost it, like the cliche about losing the thread of the conversation. I am afraid my end will unravel. But Yours never does. Sometimes You pick up where I left off weeks or months or years before, and suddenly what You said then clicks into place, and it all makes sense!

That is one advantage of writing these musings instead of merely thinking them. Memory as you know can be elusive, or fickle. You may not always remember when you need to. Details, important nuances, can be lost. But if you take the time to write it all down, as you have been doing these past 16 years, then you have a record to go back to.

It’s really helpful, Lord. It boosts my faith, too, to see or read rather, what You said in the past, and see it unfold later as my future. Well, when it unfolds it is my present, but You know what I mean.

Since I Am Timeless, I inhabit all time at one time. All is one to Me and in Me. That is why I can talk to you about the future. I Am already there. I can guide you from that perspective into your best possible choices, if you continue to let Me. If you continue to practice, to stay connected, there is much you can learn, much you can discern, and moreover, you can walk in much more faith, which by default means much less fear. It’s a good trade, don’t you think? A few minutes in the morning, a few minutes at night, and your faith and trust increase while your worry and stress and fear decrease.

Yes, Lord, a very good trade! Thank You. But back to “touch and go.” When we say that, it is usually a negative connotation. It means, can go either way, like someone in a medical emergency, and you don’t know the outcome. You seem to be implying something different.

The keyword is “touch” not “go.” As you go, touch. Think of touchstone. These pages are like a touchstone for you. Here, you touch Me. You touch My Heart. You touch your own here, too, and you see right away when you are off course, or off center. You touch, and then you are empowered to go, to go into your day. Think of how you often dash out the door in the morning, think of this morning–what was the last thing you did?

Well, dash is the word for today, and the last thing I did before I stepped out the front door was give Pete a kiss goodby, and tell our Sheltie to be a good girl and I would be home tonight, and then on the front porch I said the same to the kitty. Then I just about trotted to the car!

You see? You took time to touch, and then go. In Me, even touch and go can be a very good thing.

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Capacity to Receive

Lord, all that is happening now feels like a new day.

Yes, this is what I am giving you, giving you both. A new day. I want you to really enjoy this. Revel in it. The “Turn Tide Turn” you have prayed for others–I AM speaking it over you. What about them? I will give to each one as much as each can hold. Pray that they will increase their capacity to receive. That is what I Am doing now in you. I Am increasing your capacity to receive. Your gratitude, and your wanting blessing for others are big keys, but your feeling unworthy or somehow undeserving has been the big obstacle and that is what I am removing now. Those others have different obstacles, like jealousy or anger or grief. You have been trying to move those obstacles within them. Don’t focus there at all. Just keep asking over and over, God please increase so-and-so’s ability to receive. For every health, financial, or life need. And then, let them go. You don’t have to keep begging Me to be Who I Am. Ask once, and then remember, this IS what I Am doing for them. Then say, “Thank You God for increasing so-and-so’s capacity to receive.”

Ok, Lord, well there is…and … then there is …

Sssh. That’s enough. Enough for one day. I Am focused on you. I will inspire you. This is a Creative Partnership. Think of Me as your coach–we are doing this together. But you are not a puppet–you, in fact, are brilliant. You are; you shine. You do. Announcing, your bright glorious future starts now.

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More on play

So I had all good intentions of playing today. I did. I even planned it out, what, when…but I couldn’t. This came up, that came up, the other came up, all important and all time-sensitive. There was no way to do what I planned. Eventually when I got back to the house I did “play” — I played my guitar, which I haven’t done lately, just for a few minutes. Does that count?

Dogs who have been rescued often have to be taught how to play. You have learned trust, and you have excelled at obedience. You have become very affectionate. You overflow with gratitude, and you are a vigilant watchdog, looking out for those around you, keeping an alert eye on your family, on your friends, on your business. Now we need to work on this aspect of performance versus playtime. You would gladly chase after a ball and bring it right back if you thought it served some purpose. You aim to please. I Am trying to help you see that pleasing yourself is not the opposite of pleasing Me or pleasing those you love. Doing something for the pure joy of it, the fun of it, is what we are after here.

Gosh, God, who knew play would be so hard?

I know. That is why I gave you the assignment. You are diligent with assignments. Remember Julia Cameron’s assigned play?

Yes, well, those tended to be the exercises I did not complete!

So now it is time. Play-time.

You are going to have to show me how, God. Or maybe I should say, what and when. I had a how today–but the what and the when never worked out.

What about tonight?

My chores aren’t done. OH! OH! My Chores Aren’t Done! Isn’t that when kids get to play, when their chores are done? Right? My chores aren’t done. Seriously, not done. And I can work up till midnight and they still won’t be done. And by tomorrow there will be more of them…not done. Not all done. They are never all done.

So you never can play?

Well…this runs counter to everything I…allow. The word I want is allow.

You weren’t forbidden to play as a child.

No, no I wasn’t. So WHERE and WHEN did all that start? Yes, performance in school is a big part of all this. But as a little kid I played. I even had an imagination. I climbed trees. I pretended all sorts of things.

By yourself.

Well, yeah, sure. Always by myself. I played race with our goat. I remember that. Back and forth, up and down the fence line. It was fun. 

Name something fun in high school.

Fun? Reading, I guess. I loved to read. I began playing guitar in high school. I met You!

But meeting Me then, what you were taught then, was it FUN?

No, I wouldn’t say that. It was serious. Life got serious. Is that the root, Lord?

(Almost a whisper) Little One, look back. What were you told?

Eventually I learned that anything frivolous, anything, oh goodness, anything fun, was wrong. I mean, reading the Bible was okay, and Christian doctrine, okay, but anything else, not okay. So no more reading for pleasure. No more music on the radio. No tv. I guess the guilt of even wanting to do something other than study or work took over. Anything else, beauty for its own sake, all of that, anything for pleasure, I was told to avoid. 

Or else.

Yes, or else.

And what do you think now?

I think it was a lie. I think whatever the motive may have been, I wasn’t told the truth, about You, about Your world, about the joy You intend for all of us. I remember thinking at some point that Puritanical and tyrannical rhymed for a reason!

You see, you have recovered much from those years. But sometimes, a situation occurs, as now, and unearths more that needs to be healed. Just as with a rescue dog, sometimes the memory comes back, and the behavior reverts. That is where you are now.

You said that to me once before–sometimes the memory comes back. And then You said You wanted to heal those earlier times.

I still do. So don’t put more pressure on yourself about “play.” I have come to talk to you about play so you can be even more free, not more bound. Just let Me lead you and we will walk into greater freedom together.

And maybe skip? I used to skip!

Maybe I should call you Skippy–for the fun of it!

Lord, Your Love, it blows me away. You are so diligent, to bring out the best of us, all of us. 

That is what a good parent does. So when I say to you, run along and play now, give it a little consideration, okay?

Okay.

 

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The Practice of Play

What a day–lots of life lessons today. I headed to the beach for my “play date with God” and went first to the section of beach I know best, I guess, across from the old gallery location. What got my attention there was how many rocks there were, some good sized ones too. It made me remember how much I used to love to collect rocks as a kid, how the teachers let me and Greg W. out of playing on the playground so we could hunt through the river rock beds beside the building for fossils. There were a lot of people there, though, so I left and wound up walking the beach all the way down at ramp 23 south of Salvo. What I realized first was how uncomfortable I was with the thought of playing — I mean, how do I play? I have learned a bit about relaxing, but play seems different. I didn’t know how, or what to do different. I looked for dolphin–they seem like playful critters–but there weren’t any. I looked for rocks but this beach was more typical with shell fragments. I did find some heart-shaped ones but that didn’t seem different than my usual beach walks. I remembered skipping rocks with my Dad as a kid, so I tossed a couple–one rock, one shell fragment–and they skipped in the wave wash, and I laughed. But I have done that before and it didn’t seem to qualify as a big time play date.

Then walking back I decided to investigate this pile of…something…I’d spotted walking down. Turned out to be a large cache of broken whelks. Earlier I’d said, I think I am broken inside, I don’t even know how to play! And here were all these rejected, discarded, not-perfect, broken whelk shells. At first, I thought how beautiful they would have been if only they were whole. Then I started thinking how beautiful they were, period. I began to wonder if any of them would have a heart shape in the broken place, like the one my friend Toni found on her play-day earlier this week, and gave to me. Somehow in digging through that pile of whelks, and unearthing the buried ones, something switched, or clicked, on or off, I don’t know which. It was fun. It was like a treasure hunt. And I did find hearts, lots of hearts! And I could feel You there. Once You said something about looking inside, and right after that, there was the shape of a heart in the pattern inside the swirl of the whelk shell. So thank You for today. It really was fun. And I think I learned a life lesson, at least I hope I did, about brokenness, about the way You see us. You see the beauty, You see inside, You see potential. Right?

Here is what will be hard for you to understand, in your duality of thinking. You think and see, broken OR whole. Broken VS whole. Perfect VS flawed. But here is what I see: Beauty IN Brokenness. Wholeness IN Brokenness. You keep waiting to reach some state of being, some ability or achievement, where you can finally decide, now I am whole, now I am beautiful, now I am worthy. Sweet little one, you are already whole, already beautiful, already worthy in My eyes, for My eyes see only through Love. And when Love beholds the Beloved, Love sees only Love — Love reflected, Love transforming, Love renewed, Love reciprocated. Love and only Love. So I don’t see you beautiful IN SPITE OF, which is how you would tend to think. I see you beautiful. What you see as flaws, or broken places, I see as soul topography. Imagine a totally flat, featureless landscape. Now imagine the kind of landscape you love most, with some elevation, some texture, maybe some rolling hills, maybe some rolling waves, and always some bird or critter inhabiting. Which is boring? Which is exciting? Which has more possibility? Imagine a blank canvas. Imagine a blank page. These have possibility only if they allow transformation! Only if they welcome change! If the canvas or the page had the ability to choose stagnation and sameness, what gift could they give the world? It is only in their willingness to no longer be blank, but to be transformed, over-written, with great globs of paint, that they have the possibility of intense, immense beauty or soft subtle beauty or persistent steady solid beauty. You see?

I think so. So my broken places…

Like the lyric says–are where the light gets in.

OH! Oh, right. One more question–when You said the other day a better translation of perfect would be whole, doesn’t that mean whole shells are better than broken ones? Right?

If the whelk Toni gave you, and the whelks you found today, had never been broken, they would not have hearts to share, now would they?

So we need to be broken? That sounds…scary.

Broken is such a negative word in your cultural vocabulary. Again, think of paper, think of canvas. Think topography. If a whelk shell fulfilled its many life purposes, being completely whirled at one phase, and then tumbled and in pieces in another phase, but the pieces themselves became gifts from the sea, and the remaining whelk shell became another gift from the sea, doesn’t this become a story about GiveAway? Can’t the shell give-away of itself? You do, all the time.

Think of the Bread, broken. The Cup, shared. Think of the Loaves and Fishes–Multiplied. If you can be willing to play, to admit into your landscape of responsibility some texture, some topography, of playfulness, you will multiply your ability to make a difference, multiply your gifts. But you have to be willing to change, to let the practice of playfulness transform you. I must tell you, you will not be the same. But I would never call you into territory that I did not intend as blessing for you.

Gosh, it’s different than what I expected. The Practice of Playfulness? 

Healthy children play every day. Did you think this was to be a one-time event?

I didn’t think past today, honestly. Playfulness every day? 

It doesn’t have to be long. Don’t make this into some new commitment you have to calendar and schedule and check off your to-do list–that defies the whole idea of play.

God, I think You are going to have to teach me how this can work. Ha, “can work!” See? I really need You for this. But yes, as I told You before, I am willing to try.

 

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Easter Vigil Blue Moon

Lord, thank You so much for today. An over-the-top day, in what is really, spiritually speaking, an over-the-top season, an over-the-top weekend. I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head, things I need to be sure I don’t forget, things I need to tell staff, things I need to arrange, things I need to do. Last month when we were in Philly, I said then, that my need-to’s fill my thoughts, but You fill my heart. That is so true. And You said to me then, I Am as close as your breath.

Hope and faith are like a bridge. Sometimes that bridge crosses turbulent water; you have had your share of that. But bridges are not a place to stop and camp, certainly not a place to build a permanent residence.

I don’t understand. Isn’t faith and hope where we are supposed to be living?

Remember how Scripture says, Hope that is seen is not hope, for who hopes for what he sees? I want you to live in Sight. I want you to live in Hearing. I want you to live in Assurance. I want you to live by Experience. I want you to Know My Presence. I want you to understand beyond knowledge, and to Love beyond understanding. I want you to cross the bridge, use the bridge for what it is designed for–to lead you into My Presence, not at the end of your life’s journey, but NOW. I want you to come into a fuller experience of My Presence with you, NOW. I want the now of your days to expand into moment after moment after moment after moment.

Tonight, when the moon rose, what happened?

Well, I couldn’t see it at all on the horizon. It looked clear but there must have been clouds or haze on the horizon. It finally peeked through briefly after about 10 or 15 minutes and then went behind the haze again. Then after another few minutes it rose above that layer, clear. Perfectly clear and full, the second blue moon of the year.

So here is My second promise to you for the year: Just as the full moon appeared after what seemed a brief interlude of waiting, of having faith, of hoping in its appearance, so all you have worked for and hoped for and had faith for shall appear in your reality, bright and round and full like the moon tonight. I have seen your efforts and your labor, and I declare to you, they are not in vain. And more–they are not vanity on your part, either. This life you are living is My Gift to you, and through you, to the larger world. The second full moon of March, appearing right at the end of the season of Lent, right on the cusp of Easter and your own commitment-day, signals an important shift for you. Did the moon struggle to rise, or did it merely move in its circuit, as it was created to do? Did the clouds really have power over the moon, or was the moon’s reflected sunlight brighter than the clouds? And did the intensity of that reflected light not color the waves below? So shall your own life in Me be. Prepare for a full, rounded, reflected, bright-shining life. You watched the waves dance upward in their meeting with the pier pilings. Life shall be less a struggle and more a dance for you. The more you play, the more you sing, the more you breathe, the more life will dance for you. The more creation will sing to you, the more the plants themselves will breathe for you, the more at home you will feel in the Garden, remade and replanted, right where you live.

Tonight is Moonrise. Tonight also, at midnight, just minutes from now, many in the church will celebrate SonRise. Others will celebrate at dawn. Celebrate every day, every morning, every evening. Cross the bridge. Live as if My Kingdom IS come–in you and for you and through you. Extend My Kingdom by your love and your gentleness and your generosity, to everyone you encounter. Rise Up in My Rising, with a new assurance of My blessing and My Presence with you.

Prepare for a larger life. You think, I am bursting at the seams already! How can I hold more? There will be more crops for you to reap and more to sow, more to plant and more to share, more to sell and more to give away. That is the message of this full blue moon for you: More. And don’t forget, we have a play-date tomorrow!

I haven’t forgotten, God. I am actually really excited about it!

Me, too. Now sleep well. Tomorrow is a Big Day. You’ll see!

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Grace

Lord, I’ve been remembering, 45 years ago this very weekend, not Easter–Easter was later back in 1973–but this weekend, how I decided even though we were not a church-going family at that point, to give my life to You, to knowing You, to being Yours. What I remember the most was saying to You then, at 16 years old, I want this to be real, and I want this to be for always. I don’t want to make this commitment now and then renege on it later. I want this to last. And it has. Sure, I had some ups and downs, not so much in my belief in Your existence as in my understanding of how powerful and true and real Your Love is. Once I began to build a relationship with You based on Love and not on fear, everything changed. My whole life changed. I am so grateful, God. You stuck with me, even when my understanding was flawed, or incomplete, enough so that I made some really poor decisions at times. Yet You were faithful despite all of that, faithful to continue to call me Yours. I think I will spend the rest of my life, the rest of eternity, trying to find more ways to say thank You. I guess that is why I keep trying to give other folks the benefit of the doubt, as the saying goes. That is what You did for me. Even when I doubted, You gave me the benefit of Your love despite my doubt. I guess that is what Grace means, right? 

Grace shows the lengths that I will go to bring each of My children, each of My sheep, home. And what is home, but a sanctuary of safety and love? I went to the Cross precisely so that I could say, Father forgive them.

Lord, I had this insight a couple years back; at least, it felt like insight at the time. You didn’t say, Father forgive them because they are so sorry. You did not wait for humans to be sorry, or to apologize, or to change, or even to ask for forgiveness. You proclaimed it in advance. And You proclaimed it over a terrible act, Your own betrayal and murder. You didn’t say, Father forgive them when they realize what they have done…not even that! You just said it like it is–they don’t know what they are doing. And isn’t that true so often of all of us? We THINK we know, but we don’t. And in that moment, there was no sorrow, there was no repentance, no change of mind or heart or purpose. So when that insight came, it seemed to me at the time to have come from You. I am not sure I would or could have thought that up on my own.

You did not. Indeed, that was Me teaching you.

So… So Your response was not to judge, not to proclaim righteous judgment, or anger, or even to ask for justice. You did not even ask that they would be made sorry! Your response was to ask for mercy–in the very moments of Your dying, You are asking that those putting You to death be forgiven. Am I right? Is that what You meant? And so…what does that mean today? In our time? At this Easter, 2018?

Just as some believe the window on miracles, or answered prayers, has closed, so some believe the window on mercy has closed as well, or at least, has narrowed and shuttered to admit a very limited number into the inner circle of My Favor and forgiveness. The criteria for earning that forgiveness varies according to doctrine, but the general idea that My forgiveness is limited is the principle that has endured through the centuries within numerous faith traditions that disagree on many aspects of worship or service or the afterlife. The one agreement seems to be, entry into My Kingdom, be that favor on earth or favor after death, is limited. These same traditions then teach different criteria for admission! From each one’s perspective, all the other traditions seem wrong, and only theirs is correct and true. No wonder so many have rejected all of them wholesale!

There are prayers I always delight to answer in the affirmative. One of those is, Father, please forgive them. Of course, I always also hear, Father please forgive me…but those prayers often have to be repeated again and again as the petitioners’ behavior remains the same. But prayers for forgiveness of others, forgiveness for those who have wronged the one praying, those prayers are powerful, and are based in love and compassion and a true commitment to peace and accord. That is the prayer Jesus prayed from the Cross. That kind of prayer always gets heard. Do you think I would answer NO! to a prayer uttered in that spirit, with that heart, from My Own Son? From One Whose life and love mirrors My Father-God’s heart?

Over and over you have examples of His refusal to enact revenge, of His trying to teach about mercy and grace. Yet so many, in His Name, will use this weekend to proclaim a mercy that is stingy or so full of conditions it is not mercy at all–it is reward for following a rulebook of codes for behavior.

What this means in your time is the same thing it meant when Jesus uttered those words in the first place: I, God, Am constantly answering His prayer for mercy, with every act of human injustice, with every deliberate action of evil, for all the ways humans hurt one another. I Am always, always working to mitigate ill-will and to encourage the reuniting of humanity, humans with humans, humans with nature, humans with Me. Here is a hard question–what do you think about that kind of radical mercy? The kind of mercy that would ask for and proclaim forgiveness even in the midst of the unspeakable act? The mercy that would extend a hand not only to the one drowning but to the one watching on shore doing nothing to help? The mercy that turns the key in the lock and throws open the jail cell door even as the sentence of judgement is being shouted out by the pious mob? What kind of justice is this, that offers and extends and in fact insists on mercy? The Divine kind. The kind that says, mercy triumphs over judgment. Mercy wins the day. The kind that knows, the one who is forgiven much, loves much. The kind that is building a kingdom, one act at a time, one hour at a time, one life at a time, all on love.

Lord, I decided some time ago, I want to be a part of that kingdom. I think I have some friends who will decide that is heresy. That judgment is the last result.

They are mistaken. And you know what is precious about that? Their being mistaken does not jeopardize their eternal destiny one bit! They may well be surprised by discovering how broad and wide and deep and rich My Love actually is. But in that Moment, when they understand, all their misunderstanding will melt away, and only full understanding, and their own reciprocal love, will remain.

The same is true of those who have committed acts of unkindness–or worse–on earth. In the Moment when full understanding comes for them, so comes full regret and the weight of that regret will be unbearable. You were correct when you shared that insight with another recently. That is indeed the Moment of wailing and gnashing of teeth. And right at that exact Moment, Here I Am, the Burden-Lifter. When their burden of regret is lifted, and is replaced by My Mercy and Forgiveness, the answering response of their soul will be gratitude and love so great they will not be able to contain it. The overflow of the love and gratitude from those many would call the “worst sinners” will become the sweetest perfume in all of heaven. No earthly rose can rival that perfume! What will be evident throughout eternity is the strength of My Love and My Grace–not My Justice, nor My Retribution, but My Mercy. For I Am He Who Pardons. Remember when Jesus said, so you love those who love you? What great thing is that? Love in the way Your Father in Heaven loves, for He sends His rain–His blessing–on the just and the unjust alike.

I tell you, that is the “perfection” Jesus was speaking of — full, complete, whole Love. That is the Love I Am. That is the Love I Give. That is the Love you will know in fullness, after your earthly life ceases. That is the Love that everyone will know–for My Will shall be done, and it is not My Will that any perish, but that ALL come to repentance. In that Moment, that Moment of clarity and understanding and regret, all shall come to repentance, to the intensity of wanting to have made a different choice, not out of a desire to save their own souls but out of a desire to not have caused such suffering for others–THAT is repentance, and that is the Moment when Grace and Mercy flow. That is tripping the switch that floods the soul with light and with love.

So who do you think has the most joy, the deepest appreciation of grace, and the greatest capacity for love? Those who feel they don’t have anything to apologize for, that they are righteous in themselves, that they have followed the rules “well enough” — or those that realize all their mistakes, all their missteps, all their acts of unkindness have been wiped off the record books by the mercy and love of Someone much greater than themselves? Someone with the capability and capacity to inflict great punishment, but Who chooses instead to show great mercy?

God, I would assume the second ones. The ones who receive the most mercy, let’s say. The ones I would probably shun, or judge, if I met them here, now, before they received that mercy. Gosh, God, how can I ever learn to love like You love?

You know how married people begin to look like each other after they spend 40, 50, 60 years together? How their gestures begin to be the same? How their shared experiences and shared life make a new whole, still individuals, yet also one? This weekend is our 45th anniversary, yours and Mine. You look a little more like Me with every passing year. You already have grown beyond what you thought was your capacity and ability to love and embrace others unlike yourself. Start with compassion. If you can extend compassion, it is a very small step to extending mercy and forgiveness, and from there, it is a small step indeed to extending Love.

 

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Playtime

Lord, a friend of mine who is visiting the beach posted something extraordinary today, extraordinary in its simplicity, its innocence, and its honesty. She said she asked You to play with her today, at the beach. Now why didn’t I think of that?!? Why hasn’t the whole world thought of that? What parent doesn’t play with his or her kids? Even animals teach their young by playing! And yet I never, not once, thought of asking You to play with me. I’m sorry, God — it never occurred to me, and it never occurred to me that You would want to.

Remember just yesterday I said My challenge is to approach each of you on your own terms, in ways that you can receive from Me best? For all you have grown, and all your stretching into new realms of experience of My Love and My Presence, still you tend to be very serious, extremely so at times. You take life seriously! Life is serious business! You love to laugh, you love to make others laugh in an easy, gentle way…but your over-arching view of life is serious, even somber, not playful. You take responsibility seriously, you take your relationships seriously, you take your work seriously, and you take your time with Me seriously. This is part of why recess was hard for you as a child. This is why you struggle with all those creative exercises in your favorite books that ask you to dream a little, play a little, exercise some frivolous imagination. It is why, despite loving it, you abandoned most good fiction as somehow unfit for the limited reading time you have. Instead, you try to read books that are scholarly in some sense, designed to teach you something, increase your knowledge or skill or performance. Little One, you do very little for the pure fun of it. Your quest to find and make meaning has led you to profound insight at times, yet you have forgotten what little you once knew about playtime.

Here is a proposal for you. Why don’t you think about what playing with Me would be like for you? Why don’t you try to imagine a scenario in which pure, holy play was not only allowed, but encouraged? Why don’t you imagine, just for a minute, opening a serious-looking engraved invitation, in which I, the God of the Universe, invite you, the Serious Scholarly Sage, to come out and play? Can you do that? Will you do that? I tell you the truth: your best imagery thus far happened when you were closest to My playful heart. My heart that delights to delight you. So let Me ask you one more time: can Eve come out and play?

Gosh, God, honestly, I don’t know. But I am willing to try. If it is okay with You, I think I would like to try Easter Sunday.

It’s a play-date, then. And there is no better day–you’ll see!

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Trust

Lord, it occurred to me, driving home, I often ask You about things. I need wisdom or guidance or understanding. But sometimes, I need to ask You, or I want to ask You, for things–blessings of various kinds. And I have had friends who fall on either side of a great divide in understanding. On the one side I have friends who say, oh no, you can’t; God doesn’t grant those sorts of prayers! And on the other side are friends who say, oh my, you must — God delights to grant those sorts of prayers! So they can’t both be right…right?

Let’s set “right” aside, for right implies wrong. I suspect your friends who counsel you not to ask Me for specific blessings or outcomes are also of the mindset that the days of miracles are either past, or never did exist in actuality. Theirs is a limited understanding of My Presence, My Being with all of My creation. It reflects a duality of thinking which says I am either a magic genie granting wishes willy-nilly, or a grand puppeteer and I do whatever I want to with what I own, aka all of creation. Neither is an accurate reflection of Who I Am.

When you approach Me from a rich, deep, broad understanding of I Am Love, and I Am Love Incarnate, Love Become Human, Love Enfolded In Flesh, then you can better understand the kind of relationship each person can have with that kind of Love. What would you ask a stranger for? What would you ask a best friend for? What would you ask a spouse for? What would you ask a parent for? Your answers vary, first, depending on the kind of relationship, and second, depending on the personality of the other. There are generous parents and stingy parents, parents who seek their children’s best and parents who are so wounded emotionally or so ill mentally that they cannot focus beyond their own selves. A child who grows up with that kind of parent will have a different relationship to the word “parent” than someone who grows up in a loving, safe, responsible home. A partner who lives with a loving, respectful, tender spouse will have a very different view of marriage than one who lives with an abusive, unfaithful or violent spouse. So much depends on the experience each human has with his or her most significant relationships. My Big Challenge — yes, I, God, have challenges too — is to approach each one of you on your own terms, at a pace that matches your own ability to receive. Think about your little feral kitty. She has come so far with you — yet she still startles and hisses at certain noises or sudden motions. You have learned what voice she responds to most, how to move slowly and easily so you don’t frighten her. And her capacity to love and trust increases as you approach her on her terms. But the other kitty, the one who has known nothing but love and safety, you can be much bolder with him, scooping him up in your arms while he purrs in delight!

Now imagine each kitty were magically given the gift of human speech. What do you think each one would ask you for? Would they ask the same things? Would they expect the same things? Or would their requests be colored by their prior experiences of life? You see? Neither would be “right” because this is not a question of right or wrong. This is a question of experience.

All that really matters is that you continue to model your best life in Me. That will tend to teach the skittish by your example that perhaps there is more depth to a relationship with Me than they have previously imagined.

Trust, Lord, it seems to be about trust.

Yes, and some will trust Me more simply because they trust you.