Category: Choices

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Walk with Me

Lord, I have 15 minutes. Maybe 20. I have done everything except get quiet. I lay awake too long to begin, quiet. Lord?

You think you can’t hear Me in a “brainstorm.” Worse, you think I can’t hear you. When you cannot quiet your mind, I. Am. Still. Think about that. I Am Still. What if I cannot be still, cannot be still and know, you ask? Then look to Me, the Great I Am, the One Who Still Is, Who Is Always, Who Is Present, Who Is Both Active, and Still. Let My Peace penetrate your unknowing. Just walk with Me. You will find My companionship to be all you need today, to begin. To begin your day more centered, more grounded, more focused. Just walk with Me. Decide on a pace that lets you remember all you do know.

You are being Martha and neglecting Mary. Look up the verse. (I do that.) See what it says? I don’t scold Martha for being busy–which is what you always think. It is not the tMartha was busy, or that she had a lot that had to get done–which is what you say–it is that her attitude needed adjusting. And the best way to adjust attitude is to realign with Me, which is what Mary is doing in the story. It’s not about preferring one sister over the other. It is not even about sibling squabbles. It is about Martha being distracted, worried, and anxious or upset. Does this sound like anyone you know?

Okay, so there has to be a third way, for busy people. The story goes on to say only one thing is important.

Yes, and that is?

Oh, of course! Love! Love You, love others!

And–love yourself. Take care of yourself too–and living in a perpetual state of worry and distraction, even if you try to say it’s all about others, isn’t actually loving anybody. So, walk with Me. Let Me show you every day what your own “good part” is, what that looks like in the context of your work, your home, your family and friends, and the larger world.

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The Sun Also Rises

So I’ve talked about the shop, the business, which I do a lot. Can I, may I, can we, You and I, talk about our country? God, we are so different. So diverse.

I chose 12 Disciples for a reason; actually, for many reasons. One reason was to ensure that among My followers were represented different walks of life, different points of view, different backgrounds, different talents and expertise.  What united them was each one’s individual commitment to Me, and their willingness to–gradually for some, more suddenly for others–be transformed into a team with common core values and common goals. Your nation has forgotten its founding and its foundation. You can celebrate and honor diversity while maintaining common values. What did St. Paul write?

There are varieties of gifts but One Body and One Spirit giving those gifts. Something like that.

What else?

That each part of the Body is necessary. No one part can say to another, I have no need of you. Oh! And when one part of the Body hurts, the whole Body hurts.

Yes, that is what your country has forgotten. It is what humanity as a whole has forgotten, not only in America, but all around the globe. It is what the Church has largely forgotten as well. Each seeks his own instead of seeking to be his or her own part in contributing to the health and beauty of the Body as a whole.

So God, there are some folks who say, in effect, oh well, things are getting worse just like God said they would, as if, I don’t know, as if we are supposed to just accept that. As if there is nothing anyone can do. As if it doesn’t even matter. So what can one person do?

You can stand. You can speak. You don’t have to shout, necessarily, although some may be compelled to shout. For your part, which is what you are really asking, your challenge is to not lose heart, not lose hope.

It’s hard, God.

I know, little one. But think of this–look out your window. Is the sun shining?

It is, Lord. In fact, it’s the solstice. The first day of summer. The longest day.

So as long as the sun rises on your world, this is your evidence that you are still called to love, called to pray, called to give, called to believe. Work while it is still day, as Scripture says. The Light is not vanquished–and remember what I said when despair threatens you. Light shines in darkness and the darkness will never overcome it. So Shine! Brighten the corner where you are!

Ok. But, God?

Yes?

What about those children? I know this whole situation breaks Your heart. You Who said, let the little children come to Me. You held them, and blessed them. Can You help us come to our senses, come to a place of compassion, and at the least, whether asylum is granted in individual cases or not, please reunite parents and children? And please heal their little minds from the trauma they are experiencing now, from the separation? We treat rescue dogs better than we are treating these little ones.

The anguish and angst you are feeling right now is just a tiny fraction of what I Am feeling. Do you remember, Jesus wept? Not only over Lazarus. Jesus wept over Jerusalem, too, lamenting. How often I would have gathered you under My care, like a chicken gathering her chicks, but you refused. This is just one more example of that refusal.

You see, Jesus still weeps. Yes, I the Lord God Almighty, still grieve. I weep with those who weep. I grieve as individuals reap crops of bitterness and hatred and prejudice and war. My grief will not end until humanity’s grief ends.

Be assured I Am working and calling every day, calling each one to come Home to the best of humanity, to come take their places in the Light, to commit to a life of Loving. You cannot love God and hate your neighbor. So the first wave of change must come from those who say they love Me. Don’t pray just for your political leaders. Pray for this who call themselves Mine–no matter their style of worship. Pray that they will actually and accurately manifest My Heart. Call to the North, the South, the East, and the West. Call all My People to rejoin the Team of Loving Compassion. You know how to Call. Call forth Peace, call forth Love, call forth Justice, call forth Compassion, call forth Unity. You see, there is much good you can do, with a simple heartfelt Call.

Thank You, God. Thank You, Lord. Thank You. 

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Full Circle

Oh, Father God! I just “randomly” — but actually I know I was led — picked up an old, old journal. Spring 2012. I’m thumbing through, and reading about writing. About writing more than dialog–which is exactly what You and I have been talking about, six years, six long years later. So on the page I brainstormed titles, I listed possible themes, and then I turned the page. And reading, I turn the page, and I suddenly feel as if I have stepped into a Time Tunnel (one of my favorite shows as a kid, I had a huge crush on James Darren) and I am somehow suspended there, or that my former self and my current self are meeting in these pages. I am reading back and it is as if I am reading what I wrote just days ago, not years ago.

Here it is: Lord, I’ve always wanted to write fantasy, I suddenly realize, because in fantasy things work out. (Current Note: Like Eden!!) You can envision a world where magic happens, and sets to rights. Where ordinary people receive gifts of power and purpose and use them to make a difference in their worlds. Since you’re the crafter of the world, you can make it “work.” You can make it beautiful. You aren’t “naive” — I hate, I admit it, that criticism of myself but what if I embrace it and instead call it was it is, which is Innocence. (The very thing You JUST asked me to write! Not even a week ago, in 2018!) And prophetic. And creative. And cathartic. Aha, a new and blessed way to think about naive. Aha. Thank You, Lord.

Right about then, six years ago, the dogs woke Pete and I stopped writing. The next day I journaled about an early named storm and the several days of rain to come. And then You answered my barely whispered fear, about the storm, about the economy, in words that, again, echo what You told me just yesterday, about Peace:

The world and its circumstances will try continually to pull you off-center. If you can stay in your center with Me, the tug and pull of that will become less and less. Re-magnetize yourself to My Promises and all this tugging and pulling will switch to pushing–to bringing you even more closely aligned with My Will for you life, which can be summed up in one word: blessing. My Will for your life is blessing. Blessing you and through you blessing others. O, little one, do not be afraid. Your path is peace and that means inner peace most of all. I want you to drink from My River of Peace, Deep Peace. Deep Peace of the Running Wave to you. Deep Peace of the Quiet Pool to you Remember the little shell dove on the path at Bodie Island? I Am not scolding you, I Am soothing you. I Am calming you. Maybe you could find something restful, something peaceful, to do today. You smile at that thought, but I mean it.

Lord, I look around and all that fills my thoughts are the need-to’s.

You need to take a deep breath. Maybe you need to journal. Why don’t you write down some things that bring you peace, that are restful and calming?

So good grief, God! Have I learned nothing in six years?!?  And this can’t be a coincidence, either. Six years ago, You talk to me about writing, and then about peace, deep peace, Inner Peace and Calm. And now, You talk to me about writing and then again, about deep peace. So the two are, they have to be connected.

You dialog with Me on the Page, you play and sing, you photograph, you speak, all from a deep inner spring that connects directly to the depth My Spirit provides. It is much like a spring in the natural, that taps into an underground aquifer of purest water. You need to write from this same depth, but you have spent literally years, decades, capping that well.

So, God, again I turn the page and it is all I can do not to cry, because I have been thinking lately about the music, and here come two full pages of dialog, in which I am asking you the exact same questions I have been asking You now. And then I used the word should, as in should I or shouldn’t I do this or that, and You said could, and You said confirmation and a sense of direction. And I didn’t. I didn’t do one single thing written there, in the list of I could. Not one. 

Now do you understand why I spoke the same words again? Gave you the same prompts again? Led you to this exact notebook and these exact pages, to re-affirm to you, once again, you COULD. Not you must. Not you should. But yes, still, you could.

The chance has not passed, passed me by?

Would I be leading you here again if that were so? I Am the God of many, many chances, of many, many coulds. In some ways you are in a stronger position now. You feel too much time has passed. I Who Am Timeless say, your Time is still Now. Always, still, Now. Even, Now. So you could begin. You could begin again.

Full Circle. You just brought me full circle.

Yes, that is what I do.

How many times, Lord?

As many times as it takes.

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Depth

God, I think about everything going on all around me, and it makes me realize all over again, that I need to practice gratitude, I need to take time to write out affirmations for myself, as a reminder. As a commitment. Like this: I am a blessing in my world. My commitment to love and to peace overrides all other agendas, in my shops, in my home, in my family, in all my relationships and encounters. There. Thank You, God. That feels MUCH better. It’s a choice. I need, I need to make good choices.

How would it be, how would it feel, if you spent a day, a whole day, not worrying? Not worrying about Pete. Not worrying about others’ moods or reactions. What if you could spend one entire day worry-free? What would fill your mind? What would fill your heart?

Gee, God, I don’t know! What would fill my mind? Are You saying it’s possible?

Do you think Jesus spent His days worrying?

Well, no. Of course not.

So if you can have the Mind of Christ, doesn’t that imply a new way to think? Not just new thoughts, but a new mechanism of thinking altogether?

A new mechanism?

Think for a minute about the ocean, how different it looks depending on the light, the wind, the sky, the time of day, whether there is fog–yet in all those appearances, the ocean is still itself. Sea life still teems beneath its surface.

Yes.

So much of what you see and think when you think “ocean” is, literally, on the surface. The same is true when you look at those around you. You see the surface-conditions and I see the heart. I see the depth and you see, mostly, the shallows.

So, Lord, what do You see when You look at me?

I see complexities of longings. I see multiplicities of gifts. And at the surface, I see you still settling for much less than I want to give you, and give through you.

But. There’s a BUT. I can feel it.

You are trying hard to maintain calm at the surface. If you can ever fully embrace calm at your depth, which is to say, to live from My assurance that all is well, then your surface calm will be a reflection of the calm and peace within. The BUT is, you are trying to live this backwards. You think you can project or engineer an outward calm by force of will and it will somehow penetrate inside you. Go deep, find peace there, and you will find within all you need to go long.

To go long?

Yes. To live out your days in genuine peace, in the Peace that passes understanding, in the Peace that does not waver or falter. In My Peace.

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Mirroring

God, I feel as if I can talk to You about anything. And increasingly, at any time. So I want to talk to You about my fingers. About this decades-old habit, started when I was, what? You know. Three? Four? Five? This lifelong habit I have of picking my fingers, which drives Pete crazy, and which, for all these years, I have assumed You judged me for. I certainly have judged myself. And in that judgment, I named the habit sin, which I really think, thought, it is. Until I was falling asleep–or between sleep and waking–and You said, I think it was You, something extraordinary. And I want and need to talk to You about it.

You said You didn’t see this habit as sin. Is that true? Was that You, that sudden thought in my head, so contrary to the way I have thought?

Yes, that was Me. What I need you to understand is that all the times you felt prompted by Me to stop, those leadings were not to lead you out of something I was judging you guilty for. I have asked you to stop because of what the habit is doing to you. I see, deeper than you yourself see, the sense of shame and guilt and even despair you carry, over this seemingly simple little habit. You began as a way to handle stress and tension in your house when you were a very young child. You have used it ever since, when you were tired, or stressed, or afraid, or under any kind of accusation. To keep yourself silent, you took to tearing at yourself.

Let Me ask you a question. In fact, let Me ask you several questions.

Would you reach over, take Pete’s hands in yours, and begin systematically to tear at his fingers?

No, of course not!

Would you do this to a close friend?

No.

To an acquaintance, perhaps?

No.

How about a stranger? Would you feel free, would you be motivated, to do that  to a stranger’s hands?

No, Lord. You know not.

Well, how about someone who hurt you? Would you reach out and hurt them back in this way?

NO.

Okay, well, what about an animal, then? Would you do something comparable to an animal?

No, never.

So. Last question. Would you, if you could be with Me in a physical way, would you do this to Me?

No, Lord, of course not!

Look at what you are saying. You are making yourself less than anyone else you would ever know, or meet. Less than the animals, whom you purport to love.

I do love them, You know I do.

Here is what I know: you do not yet fully love yourself. You have not yet fully received the depth, the breadth, the length and the height of My love for you. I have asked you to stop, and told you that stopping will open doors to greater service and ministry, not because this habit is sinful in My eyes, but because it reveals you are not yet fully healed, fully whole. You don’t see yourself as I see you, and you see yourself much less clearly than you see every other living thing on the planet.

Lord, something set me off this past spring. Sometimes I know my triggers but this time I am not sure what did it. I was fine, I was okay all during Pete not feeling well last fall, and holidays with family which are always stressful, and then the decision to move Yellowhouse, everything involved with that, and then suddenly something upset me to the point I started again.

And the shame of starting has fueled you to continue. That is what I want to address, and relieve–your deep sense of shame. Every one of My Children is worthy of love, of My Love. Every one of My Children begins as a precious and innocent being. And as you well know, I will move heaven and earth to show each one the truth of that Love. So what do I have to do, what can I say, to bring you to a place where the mirror you look deeply into is My Eyes of Love for you?

That sounds like a Vision Quest question.

Indeed it is. You have an old, flawed, distorted mirror. I would like to lead you away from that mirror to a place where you can see a clear, honest, pure reflection. You have been afraid to come to that place, seeing it as a place of shame and accusation, which is what you are running from, and what your tearing at your fingers is an expression of. But I Am calling you, asking you, pleading with you, please stop running. Stop running from your own precious self. Stop running from the you I see, the you I love, the you I chose before you were even born. Be willing to live in the light I Am offering you now, and I promise you, the compulsion you have felt for the past five-and-a-half decades will lose its grip and its power on your mind and your heart.

I Am asking you because your pain grieves Me, and I would relieve it. But we must be partners for that to happen. Because this originated in your feelings about yourself, you have to have a part in its resolution. This isn’t a work I can do by Myself; I need you as My Partner in your wholeness.

Okay, Lord. I really do want to be free of it. 

Yes, I know you do. But hear Me well — you need to be free of your distorted view of yourself, in order to be free of the habit you so despise. You think the habit is causing the distorted self-image, but I tell you, the reverse is true. The distorted self-image is manifesting in your habit, not the other way around. So Come. Come to My Pool of Reflection; stand here beside Me, look into My Love and see what I see. You–and your life–will never be the same.

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Come Apart

So, Lord, this is really strange, but I feel as if I need to talk to You about it. And maybe to everyone reading, too. Last night, at some point close to bedtime, I thought I heard You say, Take a break. And honestly, although it sounded like Your Voice inside, I dismissed it as just me, and I rejected the idea practically out of hand. I didn’t, I don’t want to take a break. I don’t want to let anyone down. And I certainly don’t intend to take a break from talking to You!! So it didn’t make any sense. Then this morning, without consciously thinking about it, I thought I heard those same words again, this time followed by, Regroup. So I have to ask: is this You? Why take a break? And regroup for what?

Yes, that was Me. You have been putting pressure on yourself I never intended. This wasn’t meant to be any sort of burden; this was meant to share the joy you and I have in our sharing together. And what have I counseled you to do, recently?

Well, you said to work on writing a creed. Write a creed with You. And You’ve talked before about writing out a Vision Quest, and I felt as if You were saying that again. Because, honestly, I never actually did that. Not really. Pieces and parts, maybe, but not in a total sense.

Even Jesus drew apart with His disciples, and drew apart for times of private prayer. I Am asking you to draw apart, a little while. Let Me re-engage your writer.

But aren’t I engaged already?

You are very sensitive to our dialog, yes. But that is only part of what I have to give you, and what you have to give the world. I never meant for you to neglect that part of you that writes beyond dialog.

Beyond dialog?

Yes. You photograph inspired by Me, but not directed by Me, as if you were a student completing an assignment. You write music inspired by Me but not composed or dictated by Me. You speak from your heart, inspired by Me, but not lip-syncing, not speaking from some Divine Teleprompter, or reciting a memorized speech written by someone else, even if that Someone Else is Me. Your photographs, your music, and your spoken words are all inspired, yes–but they are fully yours. One outcome of this work, this blog, that I never intended, is that you have once again laid down your writing self, thinking I mean only to dictate to you. No, dearest little one. I mean for you to even more fully develop your writing gifts, and to be willing to share, not only these dialogs, these moments of connection with Me, but also your own fully formed heart, through written words, with the world. And in order for that to happen, for you to feel fully comfortable in that role, you need to come apart for just a little while.

What is a little while, Lord? And to be very clear, I mean, I need to be sure I understand, You are saying for me to take a break from posting for this come apart time?

Yes, that is what I Am calling you to do. There is a time to speak, and a time to refrain from speaking. I Am asking you to trust Me, and to refrain from speaking for a brief time so that when you resume, you will resume from a deeper and stronger and more assured place. You will be able to bring more of yourself to everything you write, not merely this.

How long, Lord? How long is a little time?

How long after the Ascension did the disciples wait, before Pentecost in the Upper Room?

Ten days.

Can you wait with Me ten days? Can you go about living your daily life and let Me empower you and your writing in fresh ways? Can you resume after a ten day break?

Yes, Lord, I reckon. If it is You asking me, then yes. I can wait. So June 1st, then. I resume June 1.

Yes, that is what I Am asking you to do. But as with anything I ask, the choice is yours. I will love you no less if you say no. I will continue to speak to you day by day if you say no. But if you can say yes, and come apart from THIS work for an even greater work, then your reach will increase. It is no coincidence that we talked yesterday about the missing piece. There are still parts of yourself that are missing, missing in action as it were. The reasons for that are complex and stretch way back in years. But if you can give Me these ten days, I promise you, much will be resolved and solved within you.  You will emerge from this time even clearer in your purpose and more assured in your place. So come apart with Me.

What else can I say? Yes, Lord. Yes. So I guess I will be back here June 1st.

Indeed you will, and refreshed in heart and spirit and word. You shall see.

Ok, Lord. I trust You. 

 

 

 

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Rise Up for Peace

Hoo boy, Lord, what a wild few days. A real roller-coaster ride emotionally. One friend left the area after living here more than 20 years. I seem to have the ability to hold another person’s needs inside, see their perspective, while at the same time trying to hold onto mine as equally valid. So I can both rejoice for her new beginning, acknowledge her mixed feelings about leaving, and experience my own sadness, all at once. How is that even possible?!? Here is another one: conflict among people I care about. I seem to be able to hold a point of view that looks for a door, a keyhole, a way out, a reconciliation. Even though in my own life I have experienced times where reconciliation was not possible; too much would have to be compromised. I think I have sometimes been a peace-at-any-price person, and that attitude doesn’t stand up. It doesn’t stand up for truth, or fairness. So in the end, it doesn’t stand up for peace either. If no fights break out on the playground only because everyone is terrified of the school bully and no one will say anything, that is not peace. So Peace has to mean more than “absence of conflict.” Right? What would You say? How do people, how can I, be a peacemaker, when two sides are so opposed? Or if two sides hold values that contradict each other, so that if one prevails, the other loses by default? You always, always talk about a third way. I need one. 

You are thinking, I can walk North or I can walk South or I can sit and do nothing.

Exactly!! And none of those seems like the right choice. I mean, at the moment. None of those is exactly right. None of those gets to the real heart of the issue. None of those brings lasting peace.

So you want a Third Way?

Yes I do. I thought of three myself, just like You said. North, South, Sit. Meaning, do nothing. That is not acceptable. So since that is not acceptable, I am trying to figure out how to stay balanced within myself while I walk North, say. Or South, say. I know I am talking in circles, I can’t help it.

There is one direction you have not considered.

What is that?

Up. Rise Up. Grow some Wings.

Oh, Lord, speaking of wings…the little butterfly, the one that overwintered? It finally emerged, way too tiny a body, and stunted little wings that will never fly, could barely flutter. All that cocooning, for nothing.

Not for nothing. It emerged out of time. Timing is very important.

But…but…I thought it was supposed to over-winter, emerge in spring! Rest, be dormant, renew, and come out fresh, energized, full of new life!

Little One, how much rest, true REST, did you have this winter? How much rest do you allow yourself now? And you see the result.

Are You saying I am stunting my own growth? My own growth spiritually and creatively?

That is exactly what I Am saying. Do you believe you can enter a conflict and maintain your own peace? That is another way of asking, maintain My Own Peace within you? What did I say? Peace I give you, My Peace I leave with you. Not as the world gives do I give. And how does the world give? It gives and takes. It gives and takes back. It gives, holding back. It turns aside, turns its back, refuses to give an inch. And how do I give? Profusely, continuously and constantly. Always in line with Who I Am. There is no conflict within Me. Hear that again. No conflict within Me. If you can find your center in Me, that is how and where you rise. That is where your wings are. Stay centered and there will be no conflict within you either.

No conflict means you are assured, and true to your purpose. And what is your purpose, your particular purpose? To connect. To open your heart wide. To open your life wide. Not to become a victim by your openness. Your gentleness really is your strength, as you said earlier today. Remember My Word: In Quiet and Confidence shall be your strength. That is certainly true for you.

Where did you put the little butterfly?

I tried to put it on some flowers but it just kept falling off. So I carried it up to the statue I have in the yard, which to me always looks like a cross between Jesus and St Francis. I laid it there with my blessing. I could not bring myself to squish it. I just couldn’t.

It emerged too early. Over-wintering was not the issue. Trying to force emergence prematurely was the issue. It is still too cold. The wings needed more time.

What about me? 

Trust My Timing for you, too. Those creative expressions you sense beginning to stir, let them stretch slowly. Just like your muscles, don’t stretch too hard too fast. Let them ease their way into their full length and strength.

Now, about the particular conflict that concerns you.

Yes, God. What in the world do I do about that?

Stay your course. You already know how you want to proceed. Your heart has already shown the way. Follow your heart. You can trust your heart; it beats in rhythm with Mine, especially where peace is concerned. You are going to live out the third way in a deeper way than you have before. You hate “fight” so typically you choose “flight” — meaning, you flee. You abdicate. You capitulate. But this time you shall choose to fly. Flight shall take on a new meaning. You shall rise up strong in the knowledge that you speak My heart from your heart.

Lord, what if others don’t understand? What if they don’t agree? What if they argue? What then?

Don’t give in. Don’t fear their fear, don’t be angry with their anger. Just keep pointing the way to the only solution that will work, and that solution IS Peace. You are not seeking to avoid conflict as you are to inhabit an entirely new, different, and sacred space within those relationships, and that space is Peace. You can pinpoint it on a map, and as soon as you do, you will notice how it grows, receiving territory as others want what you have, want to live as you live. Stay In Peace. Wear Peace as your emblem. But remember–True Peace. Not Peace at any price. Peace that stands up for the weaker, that defends the belittled or ignored, that befriends the outcast in a way that transforms everyone in the situation. You can do this. You have done this before. You can–and will–do this again.

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Uncertainty

Lord, I have this friend who describes herself as someone who has the gift, the ability, to hold the space of uncertainty while at the same time holding on to hope, and faith, and love, and even joy. To my eye, what she is doing is turning that uncertainty-space into sacred space. And to my mind, what she is doing is impossible! But she is living it out, every day. Some days are harder than other days, sure–but the fact she is here on Planet Earth, living this out, and has been, tells me the impossible is possible, here. It’s like that verse about the peace that “passes understanding.” I always picture runners when I hear that verse, and Understanding is doing the best it can, but it is exhausted, near the end of its lap, can barely move another step, and here comes Peace, fresh, with wide strides and bright eyes and Peace takes the baton from Understanding’s hand, just sprints onward with it, and I can imagine Peace whispering as it runs by, “you did well, go rest now.” Understanding isn’t going to win this race, God. It’s not in it to win it. Peace is. Somehow right this minute, that thought gives me a lot of comfort.

Then Peace is already doing its work in you. Don’t make this harder than it is. Letting go the baton is also letting go control.

Ouch!

Control is an illusion anyway, you know. Almost everything that happens around you is out of your control. So you are mostly responsible for what happens within you.

Lord, what about the philosophies that talk about the power of the mind, about affecting outer reality by our thoughts?

Most folks let “outer reality” dictate their thoughts, rather than the other way around. That is why I said, almost everything that happens around you is out of your control. You react to circumstances, rather than being proactive and preemptive. Let Me give you an example. You are late leaving for work. You are trying to rush, and traffic seems slower than usual. You seem to come up on more red lights than green ones. NOW you have a choice. You can give in to frustration. You can begin to take risks, take chances, drive aggressively, weave in and out of traffic, try to race through a yellow light. Even if you are able to do all that without getting into or causing an accident, with what attitude will you arrive at work? Will you be overflowing with peace and confidence, with joy and love, or will you be stressed, rushed, perhaps even angry or impatient? What will those around you receive from you when you walk in the door? Even if you are technically on time, are you coming as your best self?

What happens if you take an opposite approach? You are still behind schedule but you make a deliberate choice to focus on gratitude, on staying calm and centered in your values. You may arrive late, and be sorry for being late, but what else will you be carrying into your workplace? More serenity, more ability to focus and get your tasks done efficiently and timely when you do arrive.

God, that actually happened the other day. I was maybe five minutes late leaving, and exactly what You just said, happened! Slow traffic! Red lights! I fell further and further behind.

And what did you do?

Well, I realized about a third of the way there that my heart was beating faster and I was getting more and more upset, so I did the only thing I could think of. I sang. I sang about being in the right place at the right time, I sang about being a blessing in my world, I sang my love for You. By the time I was maybe 2/3 of the way there, I was calm, I was happy and funny thing, I wound up being a couple minutes early! I am not even sure how that happened!

You see? Your attitude helped pave the way, literally, for your circumstances to change. It won’t always be that obvious or that simple, you know that. But choosing to stay in mindful awareness of My Presence with you, and to choose peace, to choose gratitude, to choose joy, is in fact to choose to be the blessing in your world that you long to be.

So is that how I can begin to learn to live with uncertainty, God?

You already do, more than you are aware. Your challenge is to stay in Peace rather than drift into what-if scenarios that prompt stress or anxiety. Here is your challenge and My Promise, all wrapped into one reality: I will guide you, moment by moment, through any challenge you face, if you stay connected to Me. Hear Me again. I Will Guide You. THAT is the source of Peace-within-Uncertainty. You can rely on My Guidance. I Am not saying there will be no obstacles, or no grief, or no hardships. I Am saying what I Am always saying: I Am With You, and I Love You. Therein lies the only Peace you need, and trust Me when I say to you, it is more than enough.

 

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Exit Here

I had a good day, really, but now I am tired. So what do I do? I drink a cup of coffee. Because I need to be awake, alert and at least somewhat productive, and I’ve got four hours or so ’til bedtime. I’ll relax, kinda-sorta, watching tv for part of that time. But my brain, God, it never stops. It never really rests. So more than my body, can we talk about my mind? I told a customer once about how my brain works, how busy it is all the time, almost like a pinball machine, making connections, synthesizing this with that, and in all seriousness he asked me, so do you take medication for that? I was almost offended! NO! I said, in probably a louder voice than maybe I should have. It’s my brain, I said! Sometimes I like how it works. But sometimes I do wish it would sit! stay! Like a puppy, like training a puppy. I guess that is what mediation is partly for, training your brain to sit, stay. Right?

I made the human brain to think. There is a difference between thinking and over-thinking, between planning and worrying or fretting. Here is a question you can ask yourself–how many times have I covered this same ground, mentally? If you were walking or driving instead of thinking, would you be saying, wait a minute, I passed this same exit half an hour ago! I am back here again, I have made no forward progress! Sometimes that is a very good thing, as it signals you have more work to do to resolve something inside. But if you find yourself passing the same exit over and over and over, then it is a signal there is a deeper issue involved.

Lord, years ago my pastor said, if you find yourself over-reacting to a seemingly small or relatively harmless situation, it is a sign that it is a trigger, relating back to something deeper.

Yes, that was wisdom from him. The same can be true of your worrying. Or your over-planning. Or your second-guessing decisions. Try to get at the source of the repetitive thoughts. Are you accusing yourself, telling yourself information that isn’t correct?

Like what?

How about, you are lazy. Nothing, nothing could be further than the truth. Or what about, you are not doing enough. Again, untrue. You repeat other phrases too. Why don’t you jot some of them down here.

Here? Now?

It might help you. Get them out of your head and down on the page.

Well, I know I say I’m tired when I am actually other things beyond tired. Like upset, or scattered, or…frightened. When I feel pressure closing in and I don’t know what to do, what decision to make. So I say I am tired when I mean more than that sometimes. 

Go on.

Well…gosh, this is harder than I thought. I say, no one cares what I think. I say that a lot. I guess I have said that, a lot, for a very long time.

And now that it is in black and white, staring back at you, what is your reaction?

It’s not true. It is very far from true. Lots of folks love me, and lots of folks actually do care what I think. Some care because they care about me, my thoughts matter to them. Others care because they look to me for my opinion on things. Gosh, it really is the opposite of what I say inside.

So here is what I want to say about that. You just wrote, “what I say inside.” How do you know, why do you believe, I Am speaking with you now?

It is a little hard to explain but I feel as if I know Your voice now. I know the calm and the peace I feel when You start talking. I can come agitated, and You always, always calm me. It’d be like asking me how I know it is Pete on the phone–of course I know. I know his voice from all other voices.

Yes, this is true. So how do you know this is you, in your head, accusing you?

Oooh, that is almost scary, like someone else, not me, not You, is thinking in my head? Is that what you are trying to say? I don’t like that thought at all!

I Am not saying this in the way you are imagining. But you have, most humans have, a stronger memory than you think, especially of your formative years. You internalize many messages spoken aloud, or even with non-verbal clues. Much of your opinion of yourself comes from those early years. We have been talking much lately about play, about perfectionism, about rest. All of these trace back to your early school years with their roots. What I Am saying is, these repetitive thoughts you have, especially those that accuse your character, your stamina, your diligence, your love, your commitment, even your ability to make and keep a commitment, all of these stem from ways you were treated or words that were spoken in your earlier years. If the words came from authority, they had more impact yet. Young children tend to trust the messages they are given. The young of all species are hard-wired to learn. One important difference between animals or birds and humans is that animals and birds give their young consistent messages designed to maximize their ability to survive and thrive. Oh, would that were so with humanity! What a different world you would inhabit! Much of My trying to teach you My voice is to help you discern the difference between My voice and My words and all other voices that have ever spoken to you, including your own. Now here is a promise. Just as you learned to copy and imitate other voices and behaviors when you were very young, including words and thoughts detrimental to you now, so you have the ability to learn and imitate My Voice, My Words, and My Thoughts. Not only can you learn new facts and new skills and new information, you can learn a new way of being with yourself in this world. THAT is what will, once for all, destroy within you the power of fear, worry, anxiety, stress, drivenness, striving to be perfect, trying in fact to be anything that you are not–and all the outworkings of all of that in your life, your health, your finances, every realm you can think of. You can look to Me for an honest, realistic assessment of who you are, and who you can still yet become. You can turn down the volume on any voice that speaks out of your past, while you seek My wisdom about its truthfulness.

So the next time you catch yourself passing the same mental exit ramp, thinking no one cares what I think, or I have to try harder, why don’t you deliberately exit? Don’t go around the loop again. Get off that road. Remember what I Am telling you now. Take the exit marked, My True Self. Let’s continue to explore that road together. It is more beautiful and more wonderful than you have been led to believe.

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Just be you

Okay, God, I have a question. Say you feel you have been wronged, maybe not in a huge way, but still…what are we, what am I, supposed to do? Here is what I usually do–I get upset at first, and then I try to just let it go. I rarely confront, I rarely challenge the behavior, I rarely stand up, or at least, not for myself. I have  a friend who says, you teach people how to treat you. So I am always also thinking of how I want to be treated. So the Golden Rule rules, right? And that means walking away, right?

Let Me ask you a question in turn. If you offended a friend, wouldn’t you want that friend to tell you? Or if you made a genuine mistake, wouldn’t you want to know?

Well, yes. But I am not talking about a friend. The thing I am talking about now is literally a person I don’t know personally. I feel taken advantage of in one sense, and then in another, maybe what happened is okay. Maybe it will work out okay.

But you will never know that without bringing it up, without bringing the situation to light. And yet you think I would want you to keep silent. Keeping the peace and holding the peace doesn’t always mean silence. Sometimes it means having courage to speak, to say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes. Sometimes it takes asking a hard question and being willing to wait for the answer, and then having the courage and discernment to ascertain whether the answer is truthful, or a deliberate lie, or a misunderstanding, or a mixing of all of that.

I think I was schooled for silence.

Many have been. But silence is not necessarily a virtue. Remember, My Word says, there is a time to keep silence AND a time to speak. I think this is a time to speak, for you. HOW you speak is the issue. Do you speak respectfully? Do you judge in advance or do you go into the conversation willing to both speak and listen? The answers to these questions will tell you, first, what is in your heart, and second, where you need to ask for My help.

So, Lord, here is the situation–as if You didn’t already know! Someone used one of my photos in a publication. My name is there–tiny. And they might have gotten that photo from someone else I DID give images to, with permission to publish, but it is not at all clear to me that is what happened, or how it happened. And in any case, I did not give explicit permission to these folks to publish it. On the other hand–I always can see another side–the credit is good, and I wouldn’t mind the chance to legitimately work with these folks and supply photographs. But not without permission, and not without some arrangement in writing. Is that wrong to ask for? I feel torn. If I make a stink, then I might never have a chance to work with or for these folks. If I keep quiet like nothing happened…well that doesn’t seem right, or fair to me, either. And that certainly wouldn’t give me opportunities!

Of course it is not wrong! For one thing, this is your livelihood. For another, I have told you that now is your time to shine, not to hide. Keeping silent in this case would be hiding. Make the call. Be yourself–not your apologetic, this-must-somehow-be-my-fault self. Your authentic self. Try it now. Take a breath. What would you say?

I think I would ask to speak to someone in charge, say who I am, and say I have questions about how my photograph was used, where they received it from, just needing to understand the sequence of events. And depending on how I am answered, then I would like to open a door for them to see more of my portfolio. But not for free, for the same renumeration others receive.

So what is wrong, or confrontational about that? Remember the Third Way. Neither the aggressor, nor the victim. If you go in peace, with peace in your heart, you can open many doors. The issue for you isn’t whether to be a peacemaker; that is who you are. The issue is are you willing to speak up at all?

Yes, Lord, I think I am. I think I need to be. Thank You.

Remember, I Am with you in everything, great and small, hard and easy. You can do this, on your terms. Just be you.