Lord, when I started this blog, actually before that, when I was thinking about starting this blog, as we, You and I, talked on paper in my morning journaling time about this, I said, I need a title. And then days later this verse came to mind, about seeing through a glass, dimly. Or darkly–depending on the translation. Well, that is how I have been feeling lately, seeing through a glass dimly. Or darkly–depending on how I translate my experience and my feelings through the glass of, what? The glass, the mirror, of what I know to be true about You? The glass of the current state of the world? What nature tells me, every time I go outside? I really need to think about my mirrors, Lord, how true they are. And what I am mirroring myself, back out into the world. Here is what I know for sure–no matter what reels and rocks in my private world, or in the larger world, You are Good. All the Time. So thank You for that. So all of this begs the question: sometimes I feel as if I see more clearly, or hear more clearly, than other times. What changes? And how can I, how can anyone, shift back? Because lately it, meaning our connection or my perception of it, at least, has seemed dimmer. And I miss it.
I miss you, too.
What?
I miss you, too. I miss your spark and your spunk and your, as you call it, stubborn optimism.
What rattled me, Lord? What set me off?
Grief, mostly. One of those rouge waves, as you like to call them.
But this seemed different somehow. Not exactly depression but…but more of a doggie-downer attitude on my part. More, well, pessimistic! Hence the dimly and darkly part of the metaphor.
What do you love best about the dark? About nighttime?
Gosh, there are so many things! I love the quiet. I love night noises, the little bugs and frogs and nature sounds. I love the stars. I love the moon, in all its phases. I love a night breeze and the sound it makes through the trees. I can’t see it but I can hear it and I can feel it. I love the promise of real rest that we associate with night. I love…fireflies! I actually SAW some, first time in years, right here in Colington! About a month ago, right at dusk. That was awesome.
And what do you love best about fog, about seeing dimly?
Gosh, again, so many things! I love the hush. I love the muted effect, on both sight and sound. I love what I read recently that another photographer expressed, about how fog actually brings clarity because it brings what is closest to you in sharper focus by eliminating distractions in the background. I love that too, how it isolates and simplifies the landscape, how it distills the myriad of choices, look here, notice over there, into just a few, or sometimes into just one. I find it serene and ethereal and both relaxing and empowering. I just love it.
So you have just spent a few joyous minutes outlining some of your loves of both darkly and dimly. Notice how neither of your descriptions mentioned anything to be afraid of. You didn’t say you were afraid of the dark, or worried you would get lost in the fog. You saw only the beauty, the good gifts, in both.
Yes, that’s true.
But when you started writing, you were thinking of dimly and darkly in negative ways, implying that they obscured rather than revealed, that they hid Me rather than revealed another aspect of My nature. What if you applied your descriptions about dark and fog to how you have been thinking and feeling lately? What if you said, gee God, I am sensing fog, I am sensing mist, I am sensing the hour just after sunset or just before dawn. What is it You would reveal to me through these special, and yes, even sacred, moments?
Gosh, God, I NEVER thought of that. Not once. I never thought of applying my feelings of joy and even anticipation that I have in those scenic conditions to my being in Your Presence, to my relationship with You. You mean…
I mean, when you think you may be in the dark, or confused, or lost, or unsure where your path is, what if instead you began to notice what is right in front of you? What if you just looked for the next step, one step? What if you began to tune in, in a deeper way, to the Quiet within what seems like Silence, and found there My voice singing to you in new ways? What if the Music of the Spheres was opened to you in what you first thought was darkness and silence? What if you began to experience the radiance of a brilliant moonrise, or the star-studded Milky Way, or even those darting flying pinpoints of light you call fireflies, as new, radiantly brilliant revelations of I Am With you Always. Do you notice the moon more in a cloudless dark sky or in the middle of the afternoon? You notice it more at fullness, in a dark sky, of course. Much of what you experience really depends on your attitude and perception.
Come and play. Let this season you are thinking of as “dim” and “dark” reveal nuances of sight and sound of My Presence in ways you never experienced before. Let’s look for new expressions while we are exploring! Let’s make this an adventure worth sharing. Every so often I have to ask you this question, so let Me ask you again: do you think I have run out of ways to surprise you? To delight you? To woo you? To draw you closer, once again, to Me? Do you think you have fully explored all that I, the Great God, Am? And all that I Am able to do and be with, and for, and through, you? If yes, then your vision is indeed dim and dark, and you need gentle enlightenment. If no, then you are already beginning to see more in the dark than you think. For just as your earthly eyes adjust in the night so that you can perceive more and more light, more and more detail, more and more stars, so will the perception of your spirit adjust. I Am not trying to hide from you! Just the opposite! I Am trying to reveal more of Myself to you, and in a different way, so that everywhere, and any-when, and in whatever circumstance you ever find yourself, you will know, first, by experience, I Am There.