Month: August 2018

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Just For You

Lord, You said the neatest thing a couple days ago, something I want to acknowledge here. You said I had BOGGED down in blogging, because I was leaving the L out. The Love. I had bogged down by forgetting Love. So what I want to ask You is this: how can that be? I try to focus on love every day, on Your Love, on loving others. How could I have been leaving the L-Love out of this blog?

It’s not that you left out Love when you posted your blogs, it’s that you left out Love when you thought about your blogs. Your blogging became more of a burden or a duty than a joy. And we talked about this–you began diligently and faithfully and persistently seeking Me…for others. And then, only for others. Thinking you were acting out of a sense of need, you forgot your own heart’s need, and in that forgetting, you forgot Mine as well. You got so intent and so focused on helping everyone else find their connection with Me, you neglected your own. You actually let yourself slip back into the old pattern of thinking that I was primarily interested in using you, in having you be an example for others, and not primarily interested in YOU. In every person on the planet, as an individual, unique, YOU, that I love, that I cherish, that I long to be connected to. Not a link in a long chain but a precious, singular child. That is what you forgot. You forgot how much I delight to spend time with YOU.

Think about your favorite moments with your son, with the grandkids. What memories stand out most? What kinds of future experiences would you long for? Aren’t they all about connection? What about your friends? Same thing. You long to connect–I made you that way. It is who you are, at your core. At your foundation. I long to connect. It is Who I Am. Part of the reason for the hiatus in your posting daily was to get you back into a routine of hearing from Me daily, for yourself. To renew your own joy and your own sense of clarity and direction. To hear from Me not only about all the people you love, but hear Me whisper to “just you.”

You so often say, when friends answer the phone, it’s just me. You laugh, they laugh, but here is what they hear, and what I often hear as well. You still devalue who you are, in their eyes and in Mine. The L-Love I want you to put back into your blog, back into everything you do and think and say and feel, is not My Big L Love for the world, great as that is. It is not even your love for Me, great as that is. It is My Big L Love for YOU. It is the Big L Love for you I would have, even if you were the only person alive on the planet. The sun would rise, the moon would wax and wane, the stars would spin and the creatures would sense your nearness, all for you. I would sustain the universe for any one of you, “just” for that one. Just for you. You always think, for all of us. Yes. But I want you to begin to think, for EACH of us. And that means, not “just you” but “just for you.”

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Winds of Change

So, Lord, what I most want to talk about today is this. I sensed the need to change, not the direction, but the rhythm of this blog. To change from a regular  pace of daily postings to a more syncopated rhythm, not as regular. But that threw me off balance. Not having the regular schedule of posting caused all sorts of emotional reactions I did not expect. I am still dealing with those, and not very well, I might add.

One issue you have, that many humans have, is thinking once everything is in place and set, that nothing will change–but everything changes, all the time! The daily pattern was to help you realize I will speak every day. When you quit posting daily, you quit expecting Me to speak to you daily. That is why you have these feelings of discontent, disconnect, and disappointment. You slipped back into old patterns of thinking and behavior, which for you includes a lot of isolation, as self-protection. But I Am Still Right Here.

There are folks whose life circumstances suddenly thrust them into a position where their rhythms change, even their rhythm and pattern of their regular contact with Me–like the illness of a family member, or a schedule change in their job–and that can throw them badly off balance just when they need Me more than ever. Even traveling or visiting family can disrupt the regular routine.

They–and you–need to remember I Am Flexible. Yes, yes, I Change Not–in My Character, in My Goodness. In My Love. But look around you! Your world, the universe, is changing second by second! Babies are born, butterflies emerge, trees fall. The winds of change are blowing all the time. I, the God of All, Am Present with you through all the changes, with My Unchanging Love. That is your foundation, your bedrock, no matter what changes come. Even if those changes seem to disrupt your times of quiet contact with Me, I still Am. I Still Am.

Do you perceive the double meaning? I Continue. And I Am the Still Small Voice whispering inside you, available in every circumstance no matter how chaotic. Part of the reason for the rhythm change here, in posting, is for you to grow in being able to hear My Voice anywhere, anytime, in any circumstance. Those who read this need to know this too–and in their own experience, not just vicariously through you. What you most need right now is the Peace, the Stillness, that comes from Me as Still I Am. So breathe that in. And release all those thoughts that you have to do this all by yourself. Silly little one!

I do feel a little silly, God. Thinking that. I mean, realizing that this is what I was thinking–haven’t I learned anything yet?!?

You have learned much and grown much. Mostly you just need reminding of that. This was a good reminder lesson for you.

It didn’t feel very good. Learning it, I mean. Or re-learning it.

(Gently). So what have you learned?

That You are I Am. And You never leave us. You are right here. Even if or when we don’t understand, You are right here. You are always right here. 

Indeed. I Am.

 

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Dimly and Darkly

Lord, when I started this blog, actually before that, when I was thinking about starting this blog, as we, You and I, talked on paper in my morning journaling time about this, I said, I need a title. And then days later this verse came to mind, about seeing through a glass, dimly. Or darkly–depending on the translation. Well, that is how I have been feeling lately, seeing through a glass dimly. Or darkly–depending on how I translate my experience and my feelings through the glass of, what? The glass, the mirror, of what I know to be true about You? The glass of the current state of the world? What nature tells me, every time I go outside? I really need to think about my mirrors, Lord, how true they are. And what I am mirroring myself, back out into the world. Here is what I know for sure–no matter what reels and rocks in my private world, or in the larger world, You are Good. All the Time. So thank You for that. So all of this begs the question: sometimes I feel as if I see more clearly, or hear more clearly, than other times. What changes? And how can I, how can anyone, shift back? Because lately it, meaning our connection or my perception of it, at least, has seemed dimmer. And I miss it.

I miss you, too.

What?

I miss you, too. I miss your spark and your spunk and your, as you call it, stubborn optimism.

What rattled me, Lord? What set me off?

Grief, mostly. One of those rouge waves, as you like to call them.

But this seemed different somehow. Not exactly depression but…but more of a doggie-downer attitude on my part. More, well, pessimistic! Hence the dimly and darkly part of the metaphor.

What do you love best about the dark? About nighttime?

Gosh, there are so many things! I love the quiet. I love night noises, the little bugs and frogs and nature sounds. I love the stars. I love the moon, in all its phases. I love a night breeze and the sound it makes through the trees. I can’t see it but I can hear it and I can feel it. I love the promise of real rest that we associate with night. I love…fireflies! I actually SAW some, first time in years, right here in Colington! About a month ago, right at dusk. That was awesome. 

And what do you love best about fog, about seeing dimly?

Gosh, again, so many things! I love the hush. I love the muted effect, on both sight and sound. I love what I read recently that another photographer expressed, about how fog actually brings clarity because it brings what is closest to you in sharper focus by eliminating distractions in the background. I love that too, how it isolates and simplifies the landscape, how it distills the myriad of choices, look here, notice over there, into just a few, or sometimes into just one. I find it serene and ethereal and both relaxing and empowering. I just love it. 

So you have just spent a few joyous minutes outlining some of your loves of both darkly and dimly. Notice how neither of your descriptions mentioned anything to be afraid of. You didn’t say you were afraid of the dark, or worried you would get lost in the fog. You saw only the beauty, the good gifts, in both.

Yes, that’s true.

But when you started writing, you were thinking of dimly and darkly in negative ways, implying that they obscured rather than revealed, that they hid Me rather than revealed another aspect of My nature. What if you applied your descriptions about dark and fog to how you have been thinking and feeling lately? What if you said, gee God, I am sensing fog, I am sensing mist, I am sensing the hour just after sunset or just before dawn. What is it You would reveal to me through these special, and yes, even sacred, moments?

Gosh, God, I NEVER thought of that. Not once. I never thought of applying my feelings of joy and even anticipation that I have in those scenic conditions to my being in Your Presence, to my relationship with You. You mean…

I mean, when you think you may be in the dark, or confused, or lost, or unsure where your path is, what if instead you began to notice what is right in front of you? What if you just looked for the next step, one step? What if you began to tune in, in a deeper way, to the Quiet within what seems like Silence, and found there My voice singing to you in new ways? What if the Music of the Spheres was opened to you in what you first thought was darkness and silence? What if you began to experience the radiance of a brilliant moonrise, or the star-studded Milky Way, or even those darting flying pinpoints of light you call fireflies, as new, radiantly brilliant revelations of I Am With you Always. Do you notice the moon more in a cloudless dark sky or in the middle of the afternoon? You notice it more at fullness, in a dark sky, of course. Much of what you experience really depends on your attitude and perception.

Come and play. Let this season you are thinking of as “dim” and “dark” reveal nuances of sight and sound of My Presence in ways you never experienced before. Let’s look for new expressions while we are exploring! Let’s make this an adventure worth sharing. Every so often I have to ask you this question, so let Me ask you again: do you think I have run out of ways to surprise you? To delight you? To woo you? To draw you closer, once again, to Me? Do you think you have fully explored all that I, the Great God, Am? And all that I Am able to do and be with, and for, and through, you? If yes, then your vision is indeed dim and dark, and you need gentle enlightenment. If no, then you are already beginning to see more in the dark than you think. For just as your earthly eyes adjust in the night so that you can perceive more and more light, more and more detail, more and more stars, so will the perception of your spirit adjust. I Am not trying to hide from you! Just the opposite! I Am trying to reveal more of Myself to you, and in a different way, so that everywhere, and any-when, and in whatever circumstance you ever find yourself, you will know, first, by experience, I Am There.

 

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Singing In The Rain

God, it’s raining. Again. As if You didn’t already know that. As if You didn’t already know that, honestly, we are over it. Tempers are fraying. Even the most good-natured among us would like, if I may be so bold, some good nature. Meaning, some good weather to be out in nature! And the folks who have worked hard all year long, 51 weeks, for one week to be here, just to try to relax a little before going back to their daily grind, don’t their needs matter?

In light of major disasters, like past hurricanes or present wildfires or famine or civil war or or or, I realize this sounds petty: God, it’s raining. But if I have learned anything at all about You, it is that I can talk to You about anything at all. So what I want to talk to You about now is keeping a sunny disposition when the weather is anything but. I keep slugging down coffee and keep feeling sluggish. The sun broke through for a few minutes this morning, and the rain abated long enough for me to take packages to the shipper. And I am grateful for every little respite, I am. But am I wrong to want more than a little respite? And not just for me, but for our visitors too? Am I wrong to talk to You about such a petty little thing as rain?

What did I talk about when I was with you? Crops and harvest. Housekeeping and lost coins and wandering sheep. Workers and wages. Rifts between brothers. In short, all the stuff that made up daily life of that time–and yours. And what did I scold? Hypocrisy. Greed. Unfairness. Pride and arrogance. I heard your heart when you told that visitor, who said to you, but I guess rain is good for business, that you would rather the sun shine and folks choose to shop than come in because they have so little else to do.

God, I just can’t help it. I keep thinking how I would feel, if this was my vacation. As I said earlier, it’s hard enough living here and missing being outside!

So what exactly are you asking?

I guess I am asking what I always am asking, which is for mercy. For compassion. For folks’ needs to matter, and that they can enjoy a vacation, a rest. You talked about rest, too, Lord. About our need for it. Goodness knows You have talked to me often enough about it!

You have let your vision become too narrow and dark again, little one. You have–without realizing it–been listening to the poisonous thoughts of those who disbelieve I Am involved in your world. You have let the world’s sorrows choke out your joy. What did I declare? That I had come that you might have fullness of joy, have abundant life! There are those who do not believe or receive those words as true at all. There are others who transport those words into a future heavenly reality and resign themselves to a trudging existence of drudgery here, all the while imagining some future reward as incentive to keep plodding on. But I did not ask any of you to keep plodding on. I did not say you would never know sorrow or trouble, but I also promised My Presence and I promised plenty of blessing for this life. Otherwise, why would I have given you this life? This earth? This universe? Just to test you? I already know you. Just to prove to you your weakness? What good is that? What kind of Parent would devise tests just to show up his own children? That is abuse, not parental love.

It is true your earth, the earth I envisioned in creation, is way out of balance. And it is true that imbalance is creating consequences I never intended and most humans could never foresee. But that does not mean I Am not still able to recreate and renew.

And right then, bam! No warning! The power goes out, the computer shuts off, my backup power supply starts squealing…

And what did you do?

Ultimately I hit the reset button.

Ah, yes, the reset button. And what was I just saying to you, when the power went off?

That I should sing. That You wanted to sing over me, sing the rainbow over me. All the colors. 

Yes, you need all My colors. Your world does.

So how do You think we should deal with disappointments, God? I am not even talking real tragedies. I am talking about disappointments, the kind that are like a nor’easter, that wear down the spirit with steady relentless pounding. The kind that erode our joy, as You said. How are we supposed to react, other than to suck it up and keep on plodding?

What happens when you close your eyes and take a few deep breaths? What do you feel?

Calmer. Tired, but calmer. And, unexpectedly, happier. 

Yes, I Am singing over you with Joy. I Am singing over you with Peace.

God, it is still raining. But I feel better. 

You see? A few minutes, deliberately in My Presence, makes all the difference. Now you can gain a little perspective, a little fortitude, a little energy. Now you will be more ready for the sun when it comes.

Thank You, God.

Don’t go.

Huh?

Don’t go. I have not finished singing. I still have Abundance and Laughter and Soul-Ease to sing over you. I still have open doors and open fields and open skies to sing over you. Don’t go. Sit, close your eyes, lift up your head and breathe. Let Me Sing.