Just be you

Okay, God, I have a question. Say you feel you have been wronged, maybe not in a huge way, but still…what are we, what am I, supposed to do? Here is what I usually do–I get upset at first, and then I try to just let it go. I rarely confront, I rarely challenge the behavior, I rarely stand up, or at least, not for myself. I have  a friend who says, you teach people how to treat you. So I am always also thinking of how I want to be treated. So the Golden Rule rules, right? And that means walking away, right?

Let Me ask you a question in turn. If you offended a friend, wouldn’t you want that friend to tell you? Or if you made a genuine mistake, wouldn’t you want to know?

Well, yes. But I am not talking about a friend. The thing I am talking about now is literally a person I don’t know personally. I feel taken advantage of in one sense, and then in another, maybe what happened is okay. Maybe it will work out okay.

But you will never know that without bringing it up, without bringing the situation to light. And yet you think I would want you to keep silent. Keeping the peace and holding the peace doesn’t always mean silence. Sometimes it means having courage to speak, to say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes. Sometimes it takes asking a hard question and being willing to wait for the answer, and then having the courage and discernment to ascertain whether the answer is truthful, or a deliberate lie, or a misunderstanding, or a mixing of all of that.

I think I was schooled for silence.

Many have been. But silence is not necessarily a virtue. Remember, My Word says, there is a time to keep silence AND a time to speak. I think this is a time to speak, for you. HOW you speak is the issue. Do you speak respectfully? Do you judge in advance or do you go into the conversation willing to both speak and listen? The answers to these questions will tell you, first, what is in your heart, and second, where you need to ask for My help.

So, Lord, here is the situation–as if You didn’t already know! Someone used one of my photos in a publication. My name is there–tiny. And they might have gotten that photo from someone else I DID give images to, with permission to publish, but it is not at all clear to me that is what happened, or how it happened. And in any case, I did not give explicit permission to these folks to publish it. On the other hand–I always can see another side–the credit is good, and I wouldn’t mind the chance to legitimately work with these folks and supply photographs. But not without permission, and not without some arrangement in writing. Is that wrong to ask for? I feel torn. If I make a stink, then I might never have a chance to work with or for these folks. If I keep quiet like nothing happened…well that doesn’t seem right, or fair to me, either. And that certainly wouldn’t give me opportunities!

Of course it is not wrong! For one thing, this is your livelihood. For another, I have told you that now is your time to shine, not to hide. Keeping silent in this case would be hiding. Make the call. Be yourself–not your apologetic, this-must-somehow-be-my-fault self. Your authentic self. Try it now. Take a breath. What would you say?

I think I would ask to speak to someone in charge, say who I am, and say I have questions about how my photograph was used, where they received it from, just needing to understand the sequence of events. And depending on how I am answered, then I would like to open a door for them to see more of my portfolio. But not for free, for the same renumeration others receive.

So what is wrong, or confrontational about that? Remember the Third Way. Neither the aggressor, nor the victim. If you go in peace, with peace in your heart, you can open many doors. The issue for you isn’t whether to be a peacemaker; that is who you are. The issue is are you willing to speak up at all?

Yes, Lord, I think I am. I think I need to be. Thank You.

Remember, I Am with you in everything, great and small, hard and easy. You can do this, on your terms. Just be you.