Month: January 2018

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Nap Time

It’s almost three pages and I’m just rambling. I don’t have a meal, even a morsel, to feed the world this morning.

What if you share your truth? “I’m tired, I’m feeling a little bleary, I already want a nap.”

Where’s the spiritual victory in that?

Victory isn’t overcoming your body or ignoring its physical needs. Victory–to use your word–is living a whole, integrated life, a soul-life, a spirit-life, through the vehicle of a physical body. You neglect any part of you to your detriment. Can you feel tired or ill but still smile, still react with love and kindness to those around you? Can you delegate tasks or must you always do everything by yourself? Can you give yourself permission to rest? These are soul questions, spirit questions, body questions. They point out deficits in your thinking. I seek whole, joyous, fulfilled children, not exhausted, stressed out, driven machines. Today you don’t have a set schedule. why don’t you try living these next hours in awareness? honor the messages from your body, your soul and your spirit. Eat when you’re hungry. Drink more water. And yes, rest–even nap. Did you know that rest, physical rest, can be an immune booster? That your choice to rest today might actually prevent you from being susceptible to the colds and flu that are making the rounds? Try to live today off the clock. See what happens.

 

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Family Farming

Lord, what would You have me do?

What do you want to do?

I pause, open my eyes wider, lean back. What comes to mind is need-to-do. Laundry, vacuum, errands, bills. All of that can, and will, likely happen today. Then I look at my unread issue of Outdoor Photographer. I think about the third installment of the ice and snow blog. My pen runs out of ink as I feel out of time…coincidental? I think not.

 I have a supply of new pens in the coffee table drawer and I get one out. I am startled by its deep, dark, fresh-flowing black ink. I didn’t realize how faded the old pen had become.

You have a fresh 24 hours. But you are living your days like your ink pen, in a sort of grey haze. You aren’t allowing the richness and vibrancy to come through. You edit and mute and dim down your life, your inner life, all the time. It leaks out, here on the Page, and in occasional conversations with those you trust. It shows in your smiles and kindnesses to strangers.

Ok, so, what would You have me do? I don’t want to be one of those pushy, unapproachable people, obnoxiously telling others what to do or how to be.

Do you think that’s what I mean by Shine?

I don’t see the 3rd way. There’s the quieter life, the life of kindness. And the quieter interior life, I’ll call it. There’s the loud life, the TV-preacher in-your-face life. And no, I don’t think You are calling me to that.

Imagine a farmer. He plants and reaps and feeds his family. Maybe his neighbors. Imagine a Mega-Farm, the whole operation like a machine, like a food factory. Now, can’t you imagine a 3rd way?

I guess the farmer could, if he had help, buy the farm next door. Feed double.

What if the farmer invented an entirely new way to sow, or reap, or irrigate? What if the farmer stumbled on a strain of grain that had a higher yield for the same acreage? What if the farmer shared his discoveries, his inventions, his insights, and in less than a generation, quietly and faithfully revolutionized “family farming?” The tractor completely changed farming after generations of plowing by hand.

Ok, yes, I see that. But what does that have to do with me, with my life? Gallery owner, sometime photographer, occasional writer—of work that for the most part lives here, on these pages, or in notebooks or folders in drawers.

If you could pass on one thing, if you could give every family member one gift, if you could give one thing to every friend, what would it be?

My mind races through ideas. I already know where I’ll end up. I don’t choose a winning lottery ticket or a paid-off house. I don’t even choose robust physical health, tempting as that choice is. I choose You. I choose a deep, personal connection to You. Because all those other things, anything I can think of, fades. But You…You are the One Who Shines, Lord. Who is steady and true and Always Is. I’d somehow give them You.

 So, how do I feed the world You?

One day at a time, one meal at a time. No matter how big the farm, or how great the yield, there is only today’s meal, in the Now, that can be provided and have an effect in real time. The rest is just theory, and commodities. What sustains is meeting the hunger, right now. You just keep doing what you are doing, and let Me multiply your reach—like the loaves and fishes.

Multiply reach?

Ah, you see. You’re smiling now. Good. Now scoot along. You need to eat your own breakfast and live your own fresh day. And look for some glad surprises. It is My delight to delight you. You don’t have to be so serious. Enjoy your life. Enjoy the adventure of it. I don’t give stale bread, dry bread, moldy bread, or crumbs. I give fresh, hearty, tasty, nourishing bread—one bite, one day of your life, at a time.

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Or/And

I may have written this before, but…I have been living in OR. But the word, my word, is AND. Maybe this dichotomy thinking stems from an only-child childhood when my whole existence was supposed to be AND. AND with a twin. But, if everything happens for a reason…if things happen like they are supposed to…

I didn’t say everything happens for a reason. I said, all things work together for good. There is a difference. I never intend abuse, but I can overcome it, and I can create beauty even out of brokenness.

Ok, so, if I was meant to live AND.

You still can. In fact, you must. You and your life are larger than OR implies.

I think of another OR. Secular OR sacred. But it’s both, isn’t it? Meaning, my secular life is sacred; my ordinary life is extraordinary. The land of AND. Gosh, my OR mindset is everywhere. I don’t have to choose between writing and photography. I can do both. I can do music too. Lord, I have been very attached to lack. To “not enough” which is an OR way to think, actually. I can do this OR that, have this OR that. AND is a whole new world.

I want you to think for a minute about all the AND examples I have given you, in your scriptures. Four gospels—Matthew, Mark, Luke AND John, each one contributing to the story. Paul AND Silas. Disciples sent by twos. When I went up to the mountain, I took Peter AND John. In the beginning, I declared it was not good for humankind to be alone. Think about that for a minute. In the story, after I created a human man, I communed with him on a regular basis in a place you have come to think of as paradise. And yet, despite communion with Me and communion with all of nature, there was a missing component, and that was union with another, like and yet unlike. You humans need companionship. You need mates, friends, and families. I created you with this need, much deeper than biology or prolonging the species.

Here is a Mystery. As I AM a Trinity, so are you. So is humankind.

You are a Being in three parts—body, soul, spirit. You need union with Me, you need wholeness with yourself, and you need to join with other humans.

There are other ways AND plays out in your personal lives. For you, one aspect is to acknowledge the seeming opposites that you love: sea AND mountains, east AND west, having roots AND traveling. Yes, writing AND photography. Solitude AND community. As you model a life ever more connected to Me, you will also be modeling and living a life more connected to others and to the natural world. OR cannot conceive—or receive—all I Am or all I can bestow. OR cannot live the Triune Life I Myself AM, the life I Am inviting you to live also.

 

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Emergence

Lord, some people fast. How can I prepare, or train, for what You are calling me to do, to become?

I’m not exactly calling you to Become. I Am calling you to Come, Be. Be who you are. There is a difference.

What about transformation? That is becoming; that is change.

Not at emergence. At emergence, the Butterfly Is. But it must come forth. It must emerge. At emergence others see—and say—transformation! Well, yes—and no. The Butterfly always was, within the caterpillar.

You saw the butterfly! You called it forth! Things that are not as though they are!

Here is the Mystery. The “are not” is in your vision—the “are” is in Mine. What I call forth is really Vision, is for you to see what I already see, and Name.

Butterfly?

Butterfly.

Fragile…

Resilient. Strong. Beautiful. Inspiring and uplifting. Gentle. Living only on sweetness, kept alive by joy. “Born in calm.” And passing on a legacy of beauty and freedom for generations to come.

So the transformation?

Is already accomplished. You are who I say you are.

Then why the word about waiting?

You aren’t waiting to become—you are waiting to be revealed.

God, I have so many swirling thoughts and questions, questions about the business, and being this, this other thing, this butterfly-thing. I don’t want my life with critters to be a schtik. You know? I want it to be real, so real.

Eve, it is. It already is. It is your doubt that makes you falter. The critters, as you call them—and yes, call them—know you. They recognize you. You are one who has been coming. They have been waiting for you. You won’t chase them, you will draw them.

 

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Transformation

Lord, when I was writing about Love as a watchword for 2018, for the planet, the word transformative came to mind as well, for myself. I was thinking the changes I have already made, even starting this blog, were transformative. So is transformative a word for me, for 2018?

Transformation is a process. You are experiencing it personally and professionally on several levels, and 2018 will see the end of one era and the beginning of another. There are changes in store, changes that will free you to travel and be even more fully creative.

God, you say that and my heart lurches. Literally, my chest feels tight and my neck zings and my head is pressured and I feel like I can’t take a good deep breath.

I Am trying to re-birth your writer. What was the caterpillar transforms into the butterfly’s body, lifted by its new wings. Even more fully will word and imagery be united in you.

You’ve been very analytical. You’ve tried to reason your way. You’ve tried to calculate your next steps. You’ve tried to make sense out of circumstances. I gave you a very sharp mind but you are not using its full potential—and you are using it in the wrong way and for the wrong purpose.

I don’t understand?

I created your quick, sharp mind to be creative. You keep turning over stones of old ground. I created your mind to see forward and you keep looking over your shoulder. That creates the tension you feel in the left side of your neck, by the way.

Really?!

I want, right now, you to commit to East, to Vision, even more vision. This is the transformation I have in store for you. Walk, seeing. Light will become even more important, and your work will take on even more of an ethereal, other-world visionary quality. By My Spirit, you shall see and name things that are not, as though they are. The storyteller shall emerge in power within you. The poet and lyricist shall rise up. No longer shall you struggle to find the right words, for words themselves will come at your call, at your beckoning. As your planetary winter melts into spring, so shall you take this time to transform your house, your working space, your schedule—you are about to experience a life-shift, in which your ability to minister through your creative gifts will increase. Leave your analytical mind behind and come back to Vision. See, and then see. Hear, and then hear. Butterflies are East symbols. The Butterfly is your symbol for East now. It combines journeys, transformation, nectar-seeking and the golds and yellows of an eastern morning.

Whoa! Butterflies see color! So the concept of color…

Is a Vision concept.

My Voice will be louder, not softer; clearer, not vaguer. I don’t want you stumbling around in the dark trying to figure things out. That is a tremendous waste of time and energy. I want to illuminate your path. I want to give you wisdom.

But aren’t we supposed to work at it?

If by “it” you mean a relationship with Me, the work is to believe and receive. Say yes, and go, flow, know. Remember, My Light will refract through your life.

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Kaleidoscope of Choices

Recalculating…it’s like You do that all the time, instantaneously as we, all of us, make our choices, billions upon billions of choices, large and small, second by second. It boggles the mind.

Just don’t let it boggle your heart. That is what is most important, a steady heart-rhythm. Don’t let your love falter or skip a beat.

So when You see the future…

 I see all possible futures. The future you create is largely up to you. If you don’t like the direction your life is going, you can choose to make changes that will change the outcome.

So much seems random, God. Illness. Accidents. Kids born into poverty; kids born sick, or who become ill, young. I falter, right there. My heart, it skips and stops, right there.

Because you still think of Me as the Cause of Everything.

Well, You are still the Creator, right?

Creator, yes. Puppeteer, no. There is a big difference. As Creator, I bestowed on you, on humanity, the gift of creation. You procreate, you have children. And your choices, individual and collective, create the world those children are born into. I Am present, not running the show, but available to be a Creative Partner to anyone who asks.

The truth is, few believe in Miracles anymore. And the few who do are often mocked or ridiculed by the rest, just as Jesus was. The masses who need a miracle often see or hear My Power and Love reduced to shiny objects—just as the crowds in Jesus’ day clamored for bread, for food, when they could have asked for so much more. Imagine if there had been a way to defeat Rome’s harsh rule, not through war or uprising or revolt, but through love, My Love. Imagine if Pontius Pilate had listened to his wife and her prophetic dreams. Imagine if Herod had listened to John the Baptist. There are examples in Scripture and history of dramatic turnarounds, when rulers were willing to listen and change course. Some of those turnarounds could have prevented diseases from even beginning, much less spreading, as living conditions for all would have been healthier and safer.

Imagine if all children born on the planet grew nurtured to be the best version of themselves, fully developing their gifts. Imagine every adult engaged in activity that fully utilized his or her skills and honored each one’s passions, as each contributed to the good of the world. No occupation would be menial. All would work in ways suited to them, to their needs and gifts. Imagine a world where each person lived to maximum fulfillment. Then, just for a minute, lest it shatter your heart, consider your world as it is.

One proof that I exist is that I exist—that the I Am Who I Am is still present, still here, and still willing to be at work in your world, in every individual life who hears the invitation to partner with Me. The Miracle is that My Own Heart has not shattered, or shuttered. That is how I can help heal humanity’s brokenness. Because I hold all possibilities simultaneously, so that I can bring good out of evil, and light out of darkness, I continue to hope and work for My Kingdom Come, a choice for kindness here, a choice for peace, there.

You cannot hold your town or your neighborhood or even your family in this kind of knowing. You can hold only yourself and your own choices, and even the import of those escapes you most of the time. But the more in tune you are to Me, the more aware of your best self you will become. That will lead to more, to even more loving and kind and peaceful and joyful choices, and that in turn will create, moment by moment, a more fulfilled and fulfilling life. And that will inspire others.

So…I can choose to worry?

Indeed you can. You can, literally, make yourself sick with worry. Or you can ask Me to lead you, to help you make wise choices, with the least amount of stress. You can ask that and live that, moment by moment over these next weeks. You cannot control others’ choices, only your own. I promise you that your choices will have an effect on the way these next weeks unfold.

Okay, Lord, please help me.

I Am helping you all the time. Just keep connected in mind as well as in heart, to Me.

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Honesty

While Pete was in the shower, I laid in bed and said thank You for everything and everyone I could think of, a fabulous way to start a day, and start off a new year. 

You have not because you ask not. So much of your difficulty in receiving comes from your reluctance to ask. You fear being disappointed, and you still believe at your core that you can ask only for others, not for yourself.  You much more easily accept the idea of My favor on your friends, family, even strangers, than you accept that I want to richly bless you.

Even here, you seek to be profound and all I Am asking you to be is honest. Honest–and willing, willing to share our relationship in order to inspire others to seek Me out in ways that are deeper and more personal to them than they had imagined before.

This is why I keep insisting on you telling Me your dreams, your longings, and your wished-for hopes. I keep asking for lists of your loves so I can reveal Myself within the seemingly small details of your life, what you call your ordinary every-day life. You’ve said it yourself, if you can have this deep connection to Me, so can others. So can anyone, everyone. Your task is to go on living your everyday life from a position of Connectedness, to model in all circumstances what a daily relationship with Me looks like and feels like.

You already know this doesn’t mean you don’t experience loss and grief. You already deal with disappointment–but dealing with disappointment by bringing all your emotions to Me is far different than burying them inside, pretending you don’t hurt when you do, and allowing your hurts to fester and become infected. That way leads only to resentment and eventually to bitterness, a very lonely road indeed.

Nor Am I asking you to pretend all is well when it isn’t.

I ask you to be honest because, first, you can’t fool Me or hide from Me and you will only wear yourself out trying. I also ask you to be honest because I want to transform you–your character, your attitudes, your reactions, and responses–to reflect Me more and more. So it is essential that you tell Me when and where you hurt, so I can apply the Balm of My Healing. Tell Me what you regret so I can give new chances and choices. Tell Me what you think you lack so I can more fully be your Provider, the One Who gives opportunities and opened doors. Tell Me what puzzles you so I can give you wisdom, understanding and discernment. And tell Me what makes you afraid, so I can light your way.

Finally, tell Me what makes you glad, so we can rejoice together along with all the angels.

Tell Me everything, all the time, all day long. Pray without ceasing. How? By keeping Me, My Presence, in your mind and heart at all times, and by listening for My least whisper on the wind.

On the Page, off the Page–all the time. Tell Me Everything.

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Moonlight

Lord, I needed a word, a fresh word, and I couldn’t really hear a thing, Pete has the TV on in here, there is really nowhere else to go. And then our Sheltie asked me to take her out. So I go to the door, and there is the nearly full moon, rising through the trees. And it is beautiful.

And what is the first thing you thought of, when the moon rose?

I thought of how it reflects the sunlight. It doesn’t shine of itself. Then I thought of how we notice the full moon, and how the moon shines brightest, and fullest, as the sun is setting, or just going down, or the night is fully dark.

That is you—that is human’s call, to take My Light, and shine it out in beauty and color, whether over mountains or seas, whether through fog or on snow, whatever the season, month after month. Your moon waxes and wanes. Truthfully, you do, too. You won’t fully realize all I made you to be until you unite fully with Me. You tire, you get discouraged, you need forgiveness, you need to forgive others. You need to be refreshed and you in turn refresh others. That is not a failing, as you suppose, but a reality of being human.

The beauty you are and share is that you are willing to continue to shine, to reflect My Light, to keep your face, as the moon does, turned towards My life and towards your whole planet, in an attitude of compassion and peace.

Thank You, Lord. A timely word, just what I needed. Thank You.

 I Am the Word, so I will always, always, have a Word. For tonight, consider moonlight as a metaphor for My working in your life.

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Embrace life

Lord, I have such a racehorse, driven personality. How can I function in this flow-timing-easy receptivity kind of way?

Change the channel. How did you morph from clumsy to graceful? Transformation is your answer. Metamorphosis. Your drivenness is based in a falsehood of having to do it all yourself, having to push, having to work so very hard…then you can feel proud—and exhausted—look what I did—as a way to keep yourself safe. To prove something. To feel worthy.

I want us to create something amazing together. Not just a book or a blog, but a life. Everything you struggle over, or with, or against, is from this striving. Straining at gnats.

I want you, I need you, to model relaxation without drugs. Peace and Love without being high. The world is trying to escape the pressure through drugs and alcohol. So many Christians have eschewed that, but they have bought in to thinking life is enduring the pressure and overcoming the hardships, the hard and bitter road. They endure. Others escape—or try to.

Yours is the third way—Embrace. Embrace Life as a joyous, loving partner. Embrace Me, My Life.

Embrace and Celebrate is your key to flow, to receptivity. See? That is why you always find hearts. They are My little love-notes, hidden in plain sight.

Be who you are, connected and celebratory. Don’t strive for anything, opportunity, success, a sustainable gallery income. Instead, receive. Receive each day. Say, thank You God for this day, every morning, and mean it! Feel it! Feel Me here with you now.

Receiving is the key to everything. You can live a deeply centered life—not by teetering on the verge of losing your balance every second, focusing on not-falling; by sitting in Calm, focusing on receiving all that I Am.

Imagine an operating system upgrade for your soul. Imagine deleting all malware. Imagine emptying your whole trash folder daily. That is all you have to do—simple as that.

Thank You, God, for this time and this quiet.

I will—I have said—expand Time for you, but I cannot do that while you strive against the clock. As I said to Paul, it is hard for you to kick against the goads. It is not that you won’t be passionate or intense, but your purpose will change. Imagine horseback riding without fear, that exhilaration. You will have an exhilarating life, in the flow.

Let Me show you, more than you’ve seen All I Am in your Now. In this home-place, on this planet, in this era. Living in this community, owning this business, part of this family. Let Me in, really in, and like the Cat in the Hat watch Me set all to rights with exuberance, with delight, with fun, with playfulness. Everything the world seeks, you shall have, in your relationship with Me.

I need someone with a big heart to say a big Yes so I can be a Big God. I Am choosing, asking, calling you to be My partner in this. What do you say?

Lord, I say yes.

You let Me take care of how. This is going to be fun.

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I Who Am Your…

Lord, what would You say about any of this? About anything, period?

 

You are always looking for the least crack, the least opening, to share about this life you have found, hoping your words inspire others to find their life in Me.

It is true, Lord. I am—but carefully. Am I doing any good at all?

You are opening the skittish to love and your reward will be their love and loyalty to you. And that is enough. That is as much—more—than they would ever have received on their own, or from any other source. Your approach is just right. Just keep loving on them.

Ok, Lord, but I feel like I am failing, in so many areas. You name it.

I haven’t “Named it”—you have. When have I ever Named you a failure? Even in those years you regret, I named Myself over you: Protector, Forgiver, Healer—and it was so. Liberator, Deliverer, Repairer of the Breach—and it was so. Why don’t you let Me Name Myself over you now? Over your worries and fears? Over your doubt? Over your tendency to listen to voices that name you lacking, not enough, displeasing?

Why don’t you hear My Names:

I Who Am well-pleased with you.

I Who Am your strength.

I Who Am your…

Lord, what a time to be interrupted, yesterday! Yet coming to the page this morning, I am realizing, fill in the blank: I Who Am your everything, everything you need.