Envisioning

Lord, here I am. Another notebook filling up. Calendar pages turned. I am coming here, I am going outside, I am trying to be faithful.

You are being faithful in that you keep coming to your Source, Who is Me, the Great I AM. But you so quickly unplug and move into your daily. I so want you to stay connected, stay aware of your connection, and you still don’t know quite how to do that yet. What you see is your weariness, and what I see is your tenacity–and your beauty. How you come, over and over. How you choose to bless, how you want others blessed. How you pray. How you struggle for others and take on their concerns and their causes. In so many ways, you are still waiting for the full flowering of your own creative life. Every time you sense there is more, you vacillate–between thinking I Am trying to hurry you along, or thinking you must hurry yourself, or thinking you need to hold back. There is no hurry. I mean for you to enjoy the journey.

Right now you feel in another creative slump. The cure for a creative drought is daring. Daring to believe, daring to climb, daring to put new work out there. Your strategy is to diminish and withdraw, but My Call is to expand and grow and share. Over and over I have called you to name your heart’s desires, and over and over you keep them bottled and locked, hidden away from your own knowing. You are burying yourself alive when you do that. Your creativity goes into hibernation in self-defense.

I Am here to awaken you again, but I want for you to hear Me: Write out your Vision Quest. Write down your heart’s desires, all of them. Be honest with yourself and with Me. Make vision boards. I cannot bless what you will not let awaken. Look how Pete has supported you as Photographer. You think he will not support you also as Writer? Put it all out there. The first time you really did this, really let yourself dream, was 1993, and the west, and Pete himself, are all part of the flowering of that time. The last time you really did this, really let yourself dream, was 2003, and your life now, as owner of Yellowhouse and SeaDragon, as a wildlife and nature photographer, is a direct outflowing of that time. It is time to let yourself dream again, in the now. As then, so now. Dream. Be real on the page. Don’t hold back. Start envisioning. Trust Me to help you open the eyes of your own heart. I see already, and what I see is glorious, is magnificent. As I told you so long ago, don’t be afraid of it, just be faithful to do what I tell you every day.

Ok, Lord. I am hearing Yoda–do or not do; there is no try. I have “not-do.” I need to do this. You keep asking, You have been asking, so You must have a reason. I need to trust You for what the exercise reveals. I feel a small flicker of joy, of hope. God, I can’t go here alone. And I hear back…

You are not alone. You are never alone–you’re with Me.

Thank You Lord. I hear You. You, Who are Timeless, whose Word is Timeless. I hear You.

Uncertainty

Lord, I have this friend who describes herself as someone who has the gift, the ability, to hold the space of uncertainty while at the same time holding on to hope, and faith, and love, and even joy. To my eye, what she is doing is turning that uncertainty-space into sacred space. And to my mind, what she is doing is impossible! But she is living it out, every day. Some days are harder than other days, sure–but the fact she is here on Planet Earth, living this out, and has been, tells me the impossible is possible, here. It’s like that verse about the peace that “passes understanding.” I always picture runners when I hear that verse, and Understanding is doing the best it can, but it is exhausted, near the end of its lap, can barely move another step, and here comes Peace, fresh, with wide strides and bright eyes and Peace takes the baton from Understanding’s hand, just sprints onward with it, and I can imagine Peace whispering as it runs by, “you did well, go rest now.” Understanding isn’t going to win this race, God. It’s not in it to win it. Peace is. Somehow right this minute, that thought gives me a lot of comfort.

Then Peace is already doing its work in you. Don’t make this harder than it is. Letting go the baton is also letting go control.

Ouch!

Control is an illusion anyway, you know. Almost everything that happens around you is out of your control. So you are mostly responsible for what happens within you.

Lord, what about the philosophies that talk about the power of the mind, about affecting outer reality by our thoughts?

Most folks let “outer reality” dictate their thoughts, rather than the other way around. That is why I said, almost everything that happens around you is out of your control. You react to circumstances, rather than being proactive and preemptive. Let Me give you an example. You are late leaving for work. You are trying to rush, and traffic seems slower than usual. You seem to come up on more red lights than green ones. NOW you have a choice. You can give in to frustration. You can begin to take risks, take chances, drive aggressively, weave in and out of traffic, try to race through a yellow light. Even if you are able to do all that without getting into or causing an accident, with what attitude will you arrive at work? Will you be overflowing with peace and confidence, with joy and love, or will you be stressed, rushed, perhaps even angry or impatient? What will those around you receive from you when you walk in the door? Even if you are technically on time, are you coming as your best self?

What happens if you take an opposite approach? You are still behind schedule but you make a deliberate choice to focus on gratitude, on staying calm and centered in your values. You may arrive late, and be sorry for being late, but what else will you be carrying into your workplace? More serenity, more ability to focus and get your tasks done efficiently and timely when you do arrive.

God, that actually happened the other day. I was maybe five minutes late leaving, and exactly what You just said, happened! Slow traffic! Red lights! I fell further and further behind.

And what did you do?

Well, I realized about a third of the way there that my heart was beating faster and I was getting more and more upset, so I did the only thing I could think of. I sang. I sang about being in the right place at the right time, I sang about being a blessing in my world, I sang my love for You. By the time I was maybe 2/3 of the way there, I was calm, I was happy and funny thing, I wound up being a couple minutes early! I am not even sure how that happened!

You see? Your attitude helped pave the way, literally, for your circumstances to change. It won’t always be that obvious or that simple, you know that. But choosing to stay in mindful awareness of My Presence with you, and to choose peace, to choose gratitude, to choose joy, is in fact to choose to be the blessing in your world that you long to be.

So is that how I can begin to learn to live with uncertainty, God?

You already do, more than you are aware. Your challenge is to stay in Peace rather than drift into what-if scenarios that prompt stress or anxiety. Here is your challenge and My Promise, all wrapped into one reality: I will guide you, moment by moment, through any challenge you face, if you stay connected to Me. Hear Me again. I Will Guide You. THAT is the source of Peace-within-Uncertainty. You can rely on My Guidance. I Am not saying there will be no obstacles, or no grief, or no hardships. I Am saying what I Am always saying: I Am With You, and I Love You. Therein lies the only Peace you need, and trust Me when I say to you, it is more than enough.