OK, I know what I want to talk to You about.
How come I am reluctant to talk to You when things are going badly–or might go badly–but I am quick to talk to You when things are going well? It’s the opposite of what I know a lot of people do. So what’s up with that? Why do I do that?
When things “go badly” as you say, this brings up for you all your old fears, all of which revolve around being abandoned, or punished, or both.
Why do I have those? I wasn’t raised that way.
No, but you were taught to fear Me, rather than to love Me, and taught that you had to please Me–in very specific ways–in order to secure My Love, or at the least, My favor, and My involvement in your daily life. You were taught, in other words, that My Love is conditional. And depending on whom you listen to, the conditions under which that Love flows may vary, but the idea that I love only under strict conditions is pervasive, and still persists within you. Worse, you were taught that all sorts of bad behavior, behavior you would not tolerate in an earthly parent, was to be accepted in the name of so-called Love, “for your own good” as a child of God, Bigger and more Powerful than you. Most of the time, you have grown enough in your relationship with Me to know differently, both by experience and by words, words you trust spoken through others and My own words to you. But in times of crisis, or great stress, you forget, and you fall back to an earlier way of perceiving and being.
It’s true! I went to the beach yesterday and tried to sing and walk, like I used to do, 30-some years ago.
And what happened?
Every time I looked up, I could see swaths of rainbow colors in two different clouds. It wasn’t raining where I was but it must have been raining offshore. And I kept thinking of the rainbow as a sign of Your promise and presence.
And so it is–and so it can be, for those with eyes to see and ears to hear. I Am not interested in punishing humanity. I Am very interested in saving humanity–which is to say in healing humanity, in restoring humanity, and in elevating humanity beyond small pettiness into great Love. I Am very interested in drawing humanity more fully into My Presence which, as you well know, is where transformation happens.
If you could transform one thing in your life, what would it be?
Only one? Ha!
Let’s start with one. Let’s see what happens from there. What one thing would you choose?
Gosh, God, I am thinking of so many things. But the one thing I would choose first, I think, is that the old default, which apparently is still active within me, of reacting in fear, which leads to doubt, and then to despair–I’d ditch that somehow. Instead I’d react b what I know, or say I know a lot of the time, about You. I’d react with Love, and all of Love’s outworking, like faith and courage and hope.
You do this all the time for others. It’s time, past time, you learn to do that for yourself.
How do I do that?
By playing a little game, and imagining, each time you are tempted to panic, or to give into fear, that you just learned of the triggering circumstances in the life of a best friend. Imagine she would listen to you, and your task is to speak, from your heart and Mine, into her fear. Into her upset. Into her stress. What would you say, if it wasn’t yourself you were talking to?
Hmm. I never thought of that.
Give it a try. Treat yourself like your own best friend–and imagine you get to tell her what you know, deep in your heart, about Me. Tell it to yourself in those times you need to be reminded. Remember, David encouraged himself in God. You can too.
