Category: Renewal

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Thirst

Lord, I don’t have very much time.

Actually, you do. You have all the time you need. And you are joined, right now, in conversation, with Eternity, with an eternal perspective, with One Who is Timeless. Who Was and Is and Is To Come. So why do you feel you don’t have very much time?

Because I need a message.

No. Not really. What you really need, what your world really needs, is not a message. It has lots of messages, some truer than others.

So what do we need? What do I need?

Say you’re hungry, or you think you are hungry. You have many choices, some nutritious, some not so. You could eat a snack filled with protein or one filled with sugar. But what if you are actually not hungry at all? What if you are really just thirsty? Your world’s need, your need, is more based in thirst than in hunger right now.

Okay, I understand the difference from a body’s point of view. But You are talking about our souls, our spirits. What is the difference between soul or spirit thirst, and soul or spirit hunger? I don’t understand.

Your great thirst is to be healed and to be free. Hunger is a signal that your growth needs nourishment, perhaps deeper understanding or clarification. But thirst…thirst is a signal that your soul needs refreshing. You can live longer in the natural without food than you can without water. The same is true in the spirit.

So how do I go about quenching my thirst, then? How do I play a role in quenching anyone else’s?

By experience. You can for a season nourish yourself or others with words, yours, other people’s, even Mine. But to quench the soul’s thirst, you need experience. Music can help refresh a weary, parched spirit. So can beauty, which is why art can be healing as well as merely decorative. You find personal renewal outside in nature, a great source of spiritual water for you. And you have had direct experiences of what you have come to call My Manifest Presence, that extra sense that I Am Here. I Am always Here, always Present, but you are not always aware of My Presence even though you acknowledge it mentally as a spiritual fact. Acknowledging something and experiencing it are vastly different. You need to experience My Presence again. In fact, the more tired you are, the more thirsty you are, you tend to push yourself harder, not easier. You tend to chide yourself for not having more stamina when I have designed both your body and your spirit to send you powerful signals of thirst —not so I can scold you, so I can refresh you.

Lord, I am going to say what I started out saying—I don’t have very much time.

 Yes, your days are very scheduled, and will only become more so. I know. That is why it is a very good thing I Am Timeless. So I will let you in on a secret. There is more to the verse, He gives to His Beloved even in his sleep, than you know.

Turn out your light, lay down your pen, walk away from the computer, and fall asleep in the deep knowledge that I Am infusing you once again as you rest. See if you don’t wake more refreshed in the morning than you have in a while. Let go all that troubles you, even for these few hours, and relax into My Presence.

 

 

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Dreaming Awake

I would like to ask for better dreams. Relaxing nighttime scenarios would go a long way to waking refreshed, I would think. I feel like I’m thrown into these movie plots, all of which are exhausting either emotionally or physically or both. I don’t know how to shift the landscape of my dreaming.

What sort of landscape would you like?

Oh well, I am picturing a field, a kind of open field–and there’s a little streamlet, sort of like the stream in Montana–and Aslan is suddenly there, Your Golden Lion Self.

And what am I-As-Aslan saying and doing, in this dreamscape of yours?

Well, You are looking at me, our eyes are meeting, and I am not afraid. There is obviously Power here but great Love. I feel as if You are telling me Something Important, giving me an assignment or task. There’s a tree, I am under a tree. Like one of the apple trees of my childhood, that shape.

How fitting that Aslan should meet Eve under an apple tree!

Oh! But You aren’t scolding; You are saying, I make all things new.

Yes, I Am calling you, calling all humanity, to renewal, not as a church movement, as a lifestyle in Me. What was the fruit for, in Narnia?

It was for healing, for Digory’s mother.

The fruit you have asked for, the fruit of renewal and reconciliation, heals so much of your world’s ills.

God, I’m sorry–Kaylee barked, the propane gas guy is here filling our tank, I’ve lost what You were saying.

I’m saying take and eat. I’m saying what I said to Digory–take this with you, feed those around you. The fruit you share reaches beyond these words; it’s your life, your loving life.

Lord, I get impatient, I get distracted, I get discouraged…

Shhh, shhh. Here is what I see. You catch yourself in those moments, over and over. You don’t let them overtake or overwhelm you. Now what do you see in your imaginary field?

Animals, all sorts of critters, trotting and running up to me. I’m being mobbed by all these happy animals, happy with each other, happy I’m here, like a little kid’s movie.

Eden.

Yeah, I miss Eden, the thought of it. Bittersweet, poignant. What could have been.

What shall be. Remember, part of your calling is to live with one foot in Eden, so to speak, in your world. Look for evidence in the same way you look for gratitudes. You are already very aware of your planetary disconnects, just as you once were hyper aware of your grief. Begin to be alert for evidence of the way I Am restoring Eden through your life and experience. As you see that more and more in your waking life, your sleeping life will be more refreshing and your dream-life will mirror and augment your waking experiences. They will feed each other. Just keep feeding on My Promises to you, and let them nourish your soul.

 

 

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Rest

I know I’ve been pushing lately, rather than flowing. I can feel the difference. I’ve been trying to work, to “make it work.” So I’m going around to spots where magic has happened before, longing for it to happen again. Lord, I need to stop doing that. I need to instead move back into the current, where I sense, and then go. I have so much to say thank You for. I feel that as well as know that. So, what’s my problem?

 

Your problem is, you live in a body. Your body can tire and ache. So can your mind, and so can your spirit. Sometimes one carries the other: your body is tired, but your mind/thoughts or your spirit/feelings are buoyant, and they help carry your body. Sometimes physically you feel that sense of energy, and that helps energize your thoughts in a positive way. And sometimes all three aspects of your life need refreshing all at once. That is where you are now. Rather than trying to figure out why, which only tires your mind and spirit further, just bring your whole self to Me. It’s okay to say, “Daddy, Abba, I am so tired.” Crawl up into My lap and rest awhile. Sometimes “work” energizes you. Lately, it drains you.

This was supposed to be your rest, relaxation, restoration, rejuvenation time. Ssshhh. No “buts.” Just hear what I said. I planned this as a rest, relaxation, restoration, rejuvenation time for you. That doesn’t mean you lay around doing nothing, or that you become irresponsible. Write out things that mean rest and relaxation to you. List some.

Lord, I just re-read this old entry. It is several years old, and it could have been written for now. Well, not today, exactly, but certainly for the past few weeks, for the end of the year. Now a New Year is beginning. And You just talked to me over the past two days, again, about Flow. About sensitivity. And about rest and play balancing work.

So the first image that came to mind when I re-read those words was a hammock. It is 25 degrees outside. Even if I owned a hammock, I wouldn’t get in it now!

But you can picture yourself there. You use your mind all the time to picture an uncertain future, or to pre-plan the next day’s tasks. Why don’t you use your mind to imagine restful pursuits instead of working ones? Relax your thoughts and imaginations first, and watch your body follow. Try it now. What is your earliest hammock memory?

I was a kid. We had a fabric hammock in the yard under the big tree, oak or maple. Oak, I think. Out the kitchen window.

And?

I felt safe there. And cool. I think I even napped in that hammock.

I need the part of you who is a writer to relax, to stretch out, to close your eyes, to remember, to imagine and to dream. With some people, I have to energize work and effort. With you, I have to inspire you to slow down and relax. That is part of the transformation I seek for you in this new year—allowing yourself to really pause, and let the creative, playful aspects of your imagination have more space while you give your analytical, planning self a break, and a rest. This will be metamorphosis for you. You have always worked hard, studied hard, tried hard to do your best. I want you to give yourself the same permission to relax and to play as you do to work. I want to transform your nature, not into irresponsibility, as you fear. If you can trust Me with your working, responsible self, I can help you birth more creativity and more ministry than your reasoning mind can arrange. For it is your imaginative mind that is most sensitive to inspiration by My Spirit.

So come, rest. Hear Me say to your still troubled sense of duty, you’ve earned this. Receive. Rest is a gift of My Grace, your first gift of the new year.

 

 

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Life Movies

Lord, we started talking last night as I was falling asleep, and I really need to re-start that conversation.

I was telling you not to close your heart off, but to stay open, and vulnerable.

Lord, someone gave me that same advice years ago. I heard it then as a command to endure.

That may have been that person’s meaning, but it is not Mine. I never condone or excuse abuse or mistreatment. But when you are hurting inside, for yourself or for others, you tend to wall yourself in and work harder as if that will help. It won’t. It will only add more physical fatigue to your emotional weariness.

The truth is, I didn’t create humanity—or the planet itself—for sorrow, sickness, loss or death. I created for life, for I Am the Giver of Life. I created for Love, for I Am Love. My entire nature and being is Love. Out of Life and Love flow joy and peace and kindness and goodness—which you call the fruits of My Spirit.

So when humans encounter the elements of life they were not made for, they react. Some become stoic, so nothing affects them. Some become narcissistic so everything affects them or revolves around them. Some become addicted to pastimes or to substances to numb or distract them from which is too hard, too painful, to bear alone. But you humans were not made to bear such suffering, not in the beginning, and certainly not alone.

You said recently when a situation troubles me, to surround it, to picture it surrounded, like effervescent life, I can’t remember exactly what You said, and I don’t know how to do that. And I need to. Right now.

Imagine you are a movie director. You can film the scene any way you wish. You have an unlimited budget and any props or costumes you need. You have the world as your set. And you have Angels as part of your extras in your casting of characters. How would you film the next scene? What kind of movie would you produce and direct? Set that as your intention and prayer for them.

Lord, aren’t You the Producer and Director?

Sadly, no. People assume so, and that assumption has led to much additional sorrow and misunderstanding. Each of you is your own director. I direct only where and when I Am invited to do so. Oh, I try to interject into the plot, to give warning about where the storyline is going, or to give encouragement in character development. But the human power of choice is always in your hands. That is why I ask you to pray My Will Be Done. It is not a given, in this world—only in the next.

So take a few minutes. Imagine the scene re-written. Then offer that, as prayer. I Am the God of Reconciliation. Picture a peaceful resolution to all that troubles you.

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When The Tide Turns

Lord, it’s as if I have been hearing You say, “When the tide turns.” There’s a moment, right? When it changes? And it might not seem obvious at first but soon, very soon, you can tell it has turned? Are You saying this is it?

I AM saying the tide has turned. You are now in the phase where you are beginning to notice, to see the evidence of the shift. You were thinking just of the challenges of this year, the challenges of a couple years back. I’m saying, this has been a much longer period, financially, emotionally, spiritually. This period of difficulty really began six years, six long years ago, with Patrick moving in that December, with Pete’s fatigue not yet correctly diagnosed, with all that happened in 2011, with having to relocate Yellowhouse, with Pete’s other health challenges.

Here is what I saw, what I know, what I want you to know: in all of that, your heart stayed true and strong, and pure. Did you worry? Yes. Did you fret and fear? Yes. Did you mourn and cry? Oh, yes. Did you turn from Me, or Pete? Did you turn from Patrick? Did you turn from anyone who really needed you? Never. Not once. In fact, your light shone even brighter. Did you have some occasional grumpy days? Yes, but your overall nature stayed sunny and sweet. You did it! You came through the worst drought and low tide period you’ve been through since your early 20’s. Yes, there were blessings, which you received because you were determined to stay in gratitude and be as alert as possible for them.

So if you could receive all those gifts in drought–Meditation and Freddi’s kits, and Moonrise, and Currituck, and your sales increases, and trips west and to Florida and to Maine and to Connecticut, imagine what awaits you on a flood tide!! Think about everything you have received, everything, on an ebb tide. As the tide was going out, flowing away, look at what you received: Pete’s miracle. You reunited with family you thought lost to you. So look for amazing bonds and connectedness on the flood.

Part of flood for you will be the publishing piece. for now, create the body of work. Just create it. Write the stories, lay out the books. The music will flow in this era too.

 

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Angels

Lord, I’m here at the page to hear. Nothing really to say. Time is flowing and I’m just here. I have been working in the house, sorting clothes for Kings Daughters, and that sort of task, tackling a messy closet, always discourages me for some reason. I make progress but never quite finish, and every job done just spotlights how much remains. I told someone recently, I need fresh. There is something in my personality that likes fresh. Is that ok?

How is it you are asking again after all these weeks and months and years if your personality is ok? No, it is not ok. It is magnificent! You laugh—but I mean it. Fresh is My Great Idea. Fresh Manna. “Behold I will do a new thing.” “Behold, I make all things new.” It’s the Imaginer in you. Every poem, every song, every story is an attempt to say something fresh, or say something familiar in a fresh way. The opposite of that trait in you is not contentment as you suppose. It is lethargy. It is a sign, not of laziness, but of not feeling well, a sign of fatigue.

Ok, I can see that actually. Gosh, I am just remembering an old scripture, Record the vision, write it on tablets, that the one who reads it may run. I always thought that was for me the writer, but I didn’t know what the vision was.

Peace for Pangaea is the vision. Connection is the Vision. Effervescent Bubbles, that’s the vision. My Sweet Life—that’s the vision. All of these—paintings, photographs, songs—are fresh ways to express My Great Idea: God With You. And what that means. Not, God-Far Who needs to be Invoked, or Pleased, or Appeased. God-Near Who Loves You.

I look up and out into the most glorious light! Dark slate blue western sky and the sun must have found a hole, a path, and the entire backyard was awash for a few seconds with that light I associate with angels, with angels singing. Are they co-creators with You too? Like You’ve called us to be?

Everything I have created is creative. My Nature is within all I have made and am making. Absolutely angels are creative. You never thought of this before? Ah, a fresh idea! See? You’ve thought of angels like yourself, as a messenger, as a secretary taking dictation. I don’t need to read an exact copy of My Words. I Am more like a teacher Who is giving out prompts. Writing prompts, loving prompts, prompts to go here or there, to come and see. I Am the One always asking, What If? How About?

Lord, what do angels create, then? I mean, I can look around at nature, say, and see You. I can look at art or listen to music or read something, say, and see the outflow of people’s creativity or my own, even, and sometimes, when it is so beautiful, I can see the partnership, You and the artist. What do angels do, or make?

Angels make connections. Angels bring Point A to meet Point 7. Angels help engineer what you call coincidence. And angels sing. There are frequencies your ears don’t hear that angels sing. There are colors your eyes can’t see—like infrared and way beyond—that angels use to enhance your world. It’s what you feel when you step into a special place; you feel the beauty underlying and overglazing that My angels have put there, in My Name and for My purpose.

Gosh, I never thought of that.

There is a lot you never thought of, dear heart. A lot I have to reveal to you. Why you? Because you will share. Gently, gently, these magnificent ideas will leak and seep into your world.

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Thirsty

Lord, why is this such a struggle? Every day I struggle to remember who I am, in You; who You are, in me and in the world. I just want to get it! Like breathing.

You do get it like breathing. You breathe out and release what you know to be false, and you draw in what you know to be true. You see your struggle as a failing and I see it as a triumph. Over and over you release and you draw in. You commit, over and over. You renew your life with Me, over and over. Right now, you are dehydrated; you are thirsty. Your spirit craves My Spirit like your body craves water during exercise. Work is outflow—you do love it but it is outflow. You need some inflow. Sleep by itself is not enough. You need refreshment for your soul as well as rest for your body. It is okay to admit to Me how thirsty you are. Let Me quench your thirst first. Then you will have fresh water to share with others.

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Renewal

God, if I could sit down and have a conversation with You, one thing I would ask You about is renewal. That whole church time. And what You think about all that.

What did renewal mean to you? What did that time do for you? Never mind anyone else’s experience. What was your experience?

Well, You talked to me. That was the huge thing. I’d be there, and we’d talk. I loved that—and before those services, I longed for that connection, to hear You in my heart. It didn’t happen often before that, the whole meditative prayer thing.

And I began with my friend our ministry to the Blackfoot right before that, but we definitely felt led and empowered to go. That was huge. I received physical and emotional strength to care for Mom and Dad in their illness. Over and over I felt, well, renewed. I had new energy to continue in a difficult situation. That was huge.

 And You healed so much earlier emotional brokenness, and that healing opened the possibility of my allowing myself to love someone again—Pete—and to remarry. That was Huge, huge, huge.

So you received healing, and strength, and encouragement, and joy. You connected more deeply with Me, and you were guided by that connection in all sorts of decisions. You felt empowered to speak about Me, and especially to speak about reconciliation, peace, and unity.

Yes.

What makes you think you are not living in renewal right now? You connect with Me here, and in your heart, everyday. You received supernatural strength and miracles when Pete was sick before. Your connection with family up north is a renewal miracle. You speak about Me in a way that encourages reconciliation, peace, and unity, all the time. You are walking, living, breathing a renewed life every day, all the time!

Oh, wow! Thank You, Lord! Wow, that’s great! I can feel You smiling, giving me a hug. I love You, Lord.

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The Gift of Sabbath

Oh Lord, part of me doesn’t want to go on a quest for grand adventures. Part of me just wants to sit and be near You. Like Lucy in Narnia, leaning against Aslan’s side (and reading a book)! Vacation unplugs from responsibility but you can’t live that way.

That is why I created the Sabbath! For you, for mankind, for human rest. For a mini-vacation every week! Not to burden you with the rule of its observance, but as a regular time-out from responsibility. As a Time of Refreshing. “Church” was added much later. I created Sabbath years for the land, so it could rest, not be worked to death by humans who had forgotten how to rest, how to play. Your sleep is not restful because you allow yourself no Sabbath. You will sleep better all week long if you can create and maintain Sabbath.

I don’t know how to do that. There’s both galleries, there’s the house, there’s…

There’s your health. Physical, emotional, spiritual. You want more energy? More creative ideas and solutions? More stability in your words? Allowing yourself My Gift of Sabbath is the key to all these for you.

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Stale

Yesterday we talked about nourishment, about food that nourishes us versus food that doesn’t. What about stale? What about good food gone stale?

How does good food go stale? When you don’t eat it fresh. When you put it aside, when you don’t eat it all, or when you make other less-nourishing choices. Life goes stale the same way. The other reason food can go stale or spoil is when you have “too much on your plate,” when you can’t possibly take it all in. That is where you’ve been, with too much to absorb, too much to think about. The body has a way of adjusting to too much pressure and this is how your body is reacting now, wanting sleep and rest and quiet so that it can recover and regroup.  You’ve been trying to fix a long-term issue with a short-term solution–caffeine and sugar–that is actually making you feel worse. And those worse effects are cumulative. You ate healthy all day yesterday and you rested better last night. Try all that again today and assess how you feel tomorrow. That will help your body.

Now for your spirit and your soul. Your spirit has been managing by coming to the Page, by trying to keep fresh and real here, but your emotional self, that is another matter entirely. You haven’t really let yourself feel the pain of losing Mikey, or the upset of both getting and then letting go of the puppy, or the shock of hearing Pete say to you, I can’t get up. You need to let Me comfort you, and hear Me affirm your wisdom in the impulses you had and the choices you made about the puppy, and receive My strength for the days ahead with Pete.

God, don’t I do all that here? At the Page?

No, little one. You do all that outside. Here, you are very conscious of time, your allotment of minutes, and you are often interrupted, which means you can’t allow yourself to open emotionally at the depth you need to, right now. You are afraid of a flood of tears or a volcano of anger, erupting from within you. So you keep to the surface, trying hard to maintain both connection to Me and an outward composure in the world. Meanwhile, much festers and goes unhealed and unresolved deep inside you. So come, meet Me outside again. I know what your schedule is like, through the holidays. But very soon you will have a chance, and when you do, take it! And come prepared to receive.