Category: Joy

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Immerse for Joy

I pause, notice kitty Barney, so relaxed, taking a snooze, and do something I have only done once since he got here; in fact, something I haven’t done much of at all since Mikey died. I stop and do a quick sketch, right in my journal. It’s funny, I could draw Mikey over and over and over. You said once, that is because I loved him so. So this sketch isn’t quite right, I am rusty, and Barney keeps moving. But I’ll get there, just like I did with Mikey. This was fun.

See? More Joy. Joy comes in noticing and immersing yourself. It’s what you do when you photograph–or write. You give attention.

So, how can I do this with chores, like vacuuming, say?

By noticing with every stroke, every sweep, how grateful you are for what surrounds you, the floor under your feet, each piece of furniture. Same with dusting. Allow yourself to linger a minute remembering some of the stories of the pieces you have decorating your home. Feel all over again the joy of acquiring each one–or, in the case of a family piece, some happy memory of the person it belonged to before you. You have many antiques from your mom; imagine their stories. If you cannot imagine their stories and have none of your own, then no matter their economic value, they have no heart-value to you, and it is time to let them go.

Really?

Of course. The key to loving your home, like loving anything else, is attention. You choose to pay attention to Barney, to signal to him agin and again that he is safe, and loved, and you are winning his love and his trust as a result

I do love him, Lord–even when he nips at me, I do love him.

Of course you do; that is who you are. And there is a big difference between what you are doing to bond with Barney and enduring abuse. No one is called to do that, because deliberate unkindness, or worse, is no part of My Nature or My Kingdom, and those are chains I would break, every time.

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Oh Very Young

Tonight I drew in my gratitude journal instead of writing out my list; I had so many gratitudes, and suddenly I didn’t want to rank-order or even number them. So I drew them as balloons. Fun. Somehow that little exercise just enhanced the feelings I was having, not only of gratitude, but of joy and of hope, too. So here is a question. It’s a life question, but also (for me) a business kind of question too. I view art, artistry, creative expression as essential. And when I say essential, Lord, I mean absolutely necessary for a full life. Just as our bodies have to have air, and have to have water, and have to have nourishment, and in that order, I think our souls have to have artistry. And not just our own expressions, but appreciation of others’ artistry too. Is that why drawing out the balloons made me feel more deeply?

You were more aware of your feelings, drawing them, because writing comes more naturally to you. As a writer and as a speaker/storyteller, you turn to words first and often. Drawing is not your natural first means of expression, so you were actually paying more attention drawing than you might have paid, writing.

But it wasn’t artsy, Lord — more cartoonish than anything. Like a very young child might do.

Exactly! “Like a very young child might do.” That is the whole point for you now, to connect with Eve-as-very-young-child. You are unlearning much from those years, and we will be replacing your unlearning with new learning, and new freedoms of expression you may not have enjoyed when very young. When did you quit drawing?

Gosh, I started to quit in early grade school. My pictures weren’t good enough. They were graded poorly–I mean, I got poor grades on them. I either didn’t fill up the paper or the proportions were all wrong. I learned early that I couldn’t draw, that I couldn’t be an artist. Then when I was just a little older, but still elementary school, I tried to paint the birds in my favorite bird book, and my mom’s art teacher found a lot to criticize in them. And she was partly correct; I mean, looking back at them later, I saw right away the flaws she had pointed out to my mother. But I never heard how to fix those flaws and pretty soon I just gave up. It was about that time that words took over, I think. I began to write more and eventually I never drew again, not really. 

Until…

Until I tried, at various times in adulthood, sometimes on my own, sometimes under the guidance of real artists! What I finally realized is that if I wanted to truly hone my skills at drawing, I could. I did have some innate ability, but what I lacked at that point was time. Rather than spending time learning how to draw, and then beyond that, perhaps to learn how to paint, I chose to spend that time, or that percentage of time let’s say, outside, camera in hand. I don’t regret that choice. I love the outdoors and photography gives me the means to get out there. 

But despite the evidence from your adulthood that you can, in fact, learn to draw and that you do, in fact, have some ability in that area, you still see yourself and name yourself as someone who can’t draw. The picture we form of ourselves as young children often persists despite evidence, sometimes overwhelming evidence, to the contrary.

Lord, why are You so interested in these vignettes from my childhood? Why do we keep going back there?

Because your stress, anxiety and fear responses all have roots there. You think you are reacting to stimuli in your present, but I tell you, you are responding to old, old triggers. If you can let Me gently remove the layers hiding those old triggers, they will, one by one, lose their power in your life.

Gosh, God, that would be wonderful. Even though the thought is just a little scary.

Don’t be afraid. That is why I said “gently.” We will never move at a pace beyond what you can absorb and find healing. The idea here is restoration and renewal, and in some cases, transformation, not more stress or anxiety. We will only move as fast as healing allows. So be patient with the process and patient with yourself. And let yourself have fun with this, as you did tonight, drawing out your gratitudes. Pay attention to every prompt or impulse, no matter how small it may seem–or how silly. This is actually going to be a wonderful and wondrous journey for you. And the end result will free your Storyteller, too. Ah, that made you smile!

Good grief, yes. I would love that. So my Storyteller is constricted by…

How can you write for children when you won’t let yourself play? Think about that a while. I have so much still I long to show you. Wonder will be the Door.

Thank You, Lord. Again.

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Leadership and Trust

I just had another thought, thinking about leadership. It’s trust. I trust You. I do. But I don’t always trust folks. I don’t always trust folks who say they speak for You. I don’t want to be led astray, especially not in Your Name. And I don’t want to do that to anyone else, either. There’s another discomfort with the notion of leadership for me.

That comes back to what we talked about earlier, character. A leader’s heart is a loving heart. As long as you are walking in love, and speaking from love, you never need to worry about leading anyone else astray. And Love is your discernment as well. If you ever wonder if the counsel you are hearing from another is wise, and is right for you, use the love meter. Give it the love test. How does that counsel sit in your spirit? Is it occupying primarily a place of power, where others are forced to go along out of fear? Or is it emanating from love and concern for others? You have learned to measure decisions and weigh courses of action by gauging how peaceful they feel inside you, whether they bring you peace or increase your agitation. You have learned to follow the peace. Use similar assessment skills when someone else is seeking to be a leader in your own life or over your own heart–check their words and actions against what an attitude or action centered in love would look like or sound like. If it aligns, you know the action proposed is wise, and true, and then you can use your peace to determine if it is best for you, and in this time. But if the attitude or action reveals itself to be based in something other than love, such as fear, or pride, or arrogance, or prejudice, then you don’t even have to weight it against peace. It has already failed the love test. First consider love, then consider peace. Lastly consider joy. If whatever action you are contemplating meets all three of these, then you can feel confident about making a decision.

Humans err when they consider what they think is joy first, without regard to either peace or love. That can easily lead to a lifestyle rooted in selfishness. But if you approach your life first from love and next from peace, and lastly from joy, you will overflow with all three and you will not be able to contain all the blessings you will receive–nor will you be able to contain all the blessings you will be moved to give, for your heart and life will overflow toward others. Giving won’t then feel like a sacrifice or a burden, but will become a natural response, a counterpoint rhythm, as you share the many blessings you are receiving. And that, my dear, is leadership in action. Rooted in love, grounded in peace, and expressed in joy.

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A Peachy Life

Lord, for years I heard the same Sunday message, about caring for the poor. Then we gave our offerings, and ate our breakfast and came home. Next week, we would do it all again. So what was I missing? Why the feeling of missing? What is it I want to hear?

You want to hear what everyone secretly wants to hear, that your life makes a difference. Not the five minutes it takes to decide whom to write your check to—all the other minutes. And it does. You have no idea how far a couple of hours with you, a few minutes with you will take those you encounter.

If your life was like a peach, what would you do with it? Would you eat it all, savoring each bite? Or would you stare at it on the counter, wondering if it was ripe enough, wondering how you’ll manage if you eat it all too quickly, until it rots there, waiting—as you wait—when I Am Lord of the Orchard! Eat your life! Enjoy the sweetness in every day. Let your own life and its particular joys nourish you once again.

Count your joys and watch them multiply. If you will eat of My Joy, then everything else you desire—health, financial stability—will also be yours. If it doesn’t make you happy, don’t think it, don’t wear it, don’t buy it, don’t photograph it, don’t entertain it, don’t welcome it in.

 

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The Color Of Love

Lord, my painter friend says, convince me, the viewer, that this is a boat. Or a bird. Whatever. It is the essence. So what is the essence of my life with You? Now, this is. This deliberate time. Lord, living as if You were literally present to all my senses. That’s what I’m doing. I’m living—trying to, anyway, as if You were right at my elbow. “Pleasing God” doesn’t even come close. You are not my boss; You’re so much more. You’re my love. It’s like, in these moments, I am Your love, too. These are all imperfect, incomplete analogies, and sometimes I feel self-centered, that You take this interest in me (why me?). But I know, first, it’s true, and more, that You, being God, have this mysterious capacity to be like this, intimately involved at the same time with all of us, the whole planet of us, maybe the whole universe of creations.

So that insight, that understanding, changes everything for me, and on a daily basis. Every day I wake up and I am so glad I am married to Pete. I am so glad for the fur-babies in my life. And I am so glad that I know I am Yours. I found a piece of blue seaglass! It’s butterfly blue. What is this blue a symbol of? I think, “nothing but blue skies…”

 Isn’t that kind of like me, and isn’t that kind of like PollyAnna?

I need some PollyAnnas. I have a world filled with Doom-N-Gloomers. Some are driving that train and some are on board believing there’s no other ride. If you can believe this, I Am PollyAnna Myself. I need some Believers. I need some Dreamers. I need some Co-creators. That is where you and others like you come in. I need some Weavers of Magic. I need some Painters of Possibility. I need some Happily-Ever-After Storytellers. Won’t you join with me in My work of making New?

Everything old is new again—that’s My work.

Think of your breath like blue mist. Think of every out-breath as calming, soothing, healing, as Peace. Blue is the color of Peace, My Peace. Breath in Yellow, the energizing sun of Yes, of Joy, and breath out the gentle calm soothing breeze yes of Peace. Yellow and Blue make green, the green growth of beauty. You associate red with love in your culture because you’ve emphasized sacrifice. Green is a love-color too, which emphasizes growth. Love Grows. Love Expands. Love makes room, always, for one more at the Table. Evergreen is a symbol of My Love, Love in every season.

 

 

 

 

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Renewal

God, if I could sit down and have a conversation with You, one thing I would ask You about is renewal. That whole church time. And what You think about all that.

What did renewal mean to you? What did that time do for you? Never mind anyone else’s experience. What was your experience?

Well, You talked to me. That was the huge thing. I’d be there, and we’d talk. I loved that—and before those services, I longed for that connection, to hear You in my heart. It didn’t happen often before that, the whole meditative prayer thing.

And I began with my friend our ministry to the Blackfoot right before that, but we definitely felt led and empowered to go. That was huge. I received physical and emotional strength to care for Mom and Dad in their illness. Over and over I felt, well, renewed. I had new energy to continue in a difficult situation. That was huge.

 And You healed so much earlier emotional brokenness, and that healing opened the possibility of my allowing myself to love someone again—Pete—and to remarry. That was Huge, huge, huge.

So you received healing, and strength, and encouragement, and joy. You connected more deeply with Me, and you were guided by that connection in all sorts of decisions. You felt empowered to speak about Me, and especially to speak about reconciliation, peace, and unity.

Yes.

What makes you think you are not living in renewal right now? You connect with Me here, and in your heart, everyday. You received supernatural strength and miracles when Pete was sick before. Your connection with family up north is a renewal miracle. You speak about Me in a way that encourages reconciliation, peace, and unity, all the time. You are walking, living, breathing a renewed life every day, all the time!

Oh, wow! Thank You, Lord! Wow, that’s great! I can feel You smiling, giving me a hug. I love You, Lord.

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Unbridled Joy

I am way over three pages, playing catch-up. And You would say…

You are still so rule-bound. Julia Cameron advises three journal pages. Louise Hay devises a number/color system. You tend to adapt to a lockstep pace—and then you hate it. You chafe at it. You need flexibility, you need freedom, to thrive. You keep turning yourself into a caged animal, into a circus performer. No, no, a thousand times, no. For all the Yes I have spoken over and into your life, this is My grand No.

But…but don’t I have to have a schedule? A routine? Especially now?

Your schedule leaves no room, no time, for surprises. For serendipity. For spontaneity. For play. And thus, very little opportunity for genuine creativity. You are living in a sandbox when I have given you the beach. You are living in a playpen when I Am giving you the world, My world. Look every day for your larger purpose. Look every day for My Presence, manifest. That is what the hearts are about, signs you can share. You won’t have the same set schedule every day, and you are going to love that. Let yourself love that. And yes, it is okay to have some time both at the house and outside by yourself—how else will great songs and stories get written?

We are not abandoning Eve the Photographer, Eve the Image-maker. But finally after decades, you will, your life will, integrate all of you, all of your talents and gifts, all your creative expressions and longings. No longer will worry or even concern about financial solvency dominate your thinking and feeling. As that becomes a non-issue, your mind and heart shall be freed to be creative, wildly passionately joyously creative! Joy is contagious. And My broken world needs it. That is your job. That is what you bring to the table. Unbridled (see the imagery? horse running free?) joy. You can have peace and passionate joy all at once. And this is the year you will experience and exude both, in spades.

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Questions

I guess if I can write lyrics on envelopes, I can talk to You on envelopes!

You can talk to Me anywhere, anytime, about anything.

Okay, then, I want to follow up about hearing from You. I mean, hearing from You about others. 

In what way?

Can I? May I?

Sometimes the best way to talk is to listen. Ask a question and then listen to the answer. Often the answer is itself a question.

Yes. So?

So instead of talking to those you love, if you ask a question, an inspired question, you will actually be prompting them to listen to their own heart. And that is where they will find Me–just as you did.

Okay, I understand. So…what’s the question?

Ah, yes, the question. Well, there’s not really the question. But here is a question. What in your life, right now, brings you the most joy? Why don’t you answer it first?

The most joy? A lot of things bring me a lot of joy.

Yes, but I asked about the most joy.

Honestly, Lord, it’s You. It’s knowing–I am smiling just writing this–it’s knowing I am connected to You. That You hear me and I can hear You. I didn’t use to have this connection and I so treasure it.

You always had this connection, you just didn’t know it. And now you do.

Yes, and that knowing–that brings me the most joy.

So here is a question for you to think about for tomorrow. What brings you the most peace?

 

 

 

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Steadfast Purpose and Power

 

Lord, is it wrong to want things to get easier?

No, not at all. But easier really isn’t the issue–neither is harder. The issue is, approaching your whole life, which is to say, your life moment by moment, in joy.

How do I do that?

By remembering the why–the why behind the what and the how.

The why?

Yes, the why, which is another way of saying the reason or the purpose. What is your purpose? Not the general purpose that might list work or marriage or family. Those are components of your life, and how you approach each of these components is determined largely by your why. Your purpose. So let Me ask you again–what is your purpose?

Lord, we worked this out before. Like a personal mission statement, one for life. And my life’s purpose is to connect deeply with You–with You and the natural world–and to share those connections, in words and images, with others. 

Your connection is like the electrical current that runs all through your house and it powers everything, from the essential-to-you appliances to lights and heat to communication devices to entertainment. You know how dark and quiet it gets when the power goes out in a storm. Don’t let your power go out. Stay connected and flip your switches on. This means recharging here with Me and outside, where you take your deepest cleansing breaths. Your friends who told you to get some time outside were speaking My words to you. I made you to connect in both ways to Me, here at the page and in My creation. So take some minutes in this storm and make sure your power and the lights don’t go out.

Now, when the power is working efficiently, you can almost take it for granted. Some malign that phrase but I want you to think a minute about exactly what it says. My Power is granted–to you and to everyone who plugs in–as a gift, for you to receive, to take. I WANT you taking My power, as granted, as gift. I WANT you living My joy in all your circumstances, in all your relationships. Power all your relationships just as the electricity in your house powers all your rooms. Power with purpose, in Joy.

Even in the storms?

Especially in the storms. That is when you need the light and warmth the most.

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Play

I’m feeling a little better. Phone has dinged. I need to skeedaddle. Lord?

See how playful a word “skeedaddle” is? See how differently you feel, writing skeedaddle instead of “hustle” or “rush” or “dash”? What if you found playful ways to express your day? Your life? Puppies are all about play—it is how they learn in the world. This puppy will restore your sense of playful adventure within your “ordinary days.” And you need that. True creativity is pure play. You need to play more—a lot more. You spent weeks watching your fox kits play. Remember? Let this puppy infuse you, infuse your life, with playful joy. Get ready to laugh and smile more than you have in a long time. Life doesn’t have to be so serious.

But Lord, there are serious things happening!

And what did you learn when serious things were happening with your parents and their health? “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” I just said, creativity is play. You want to make a serious impact in the lives of those around you? Then spread more joy. Give joy like bread. Bake up a loaf of joy and peace and watch what happens as you pass that around. Mercy with cheerfulness, remember? You have to carry a life preserver with you if you jump in to save someone drowning; otherwise, you will drown, too. And the life preserver is My Joy. So get ready to play! It will do you—and those around you—so much good.