Category: Guidance

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Full Circle

Oh, Father God! I just “randomly” — but actually I know I was led — picked up an old, old journal. Spring 2012. I’m thumbing through, and reading about writing. About writing more than dialog–which is exactly what You and I have been talking about, six years, six long years later. So on the page I brainstormed titles, I listed possible themes, and then I turned the page. And reading, I turn the page, and I suddenly feel as if I have stepped into a Time Tunnel (one of my favorite shows as a kid, I had a huge crush on James Darren) and I am somehow suspended there, or that my former self and my current self are meeting in these pages. I am reading back and it is as if I am reading what I wrote just days ago, not years ago.

Here it is: Lord, I’ve always wanted to write fantasy, I suddenly realize, because in fantasy things work out. (Current Note: Like Eden!!) You can envision a world where magic happens, and sets to rights. Where ordinary people receive gifts of power and purpose and use them to make a difference in their worlds. Since you’re the crafter of the world, you can make it “work.” You can make it beautiful. You aren’t “naive” — I hate, I admit it, that criticism of myself but what if I embrace it and instead call it was it is, which is Innocence. (The very thing You JUST asked me to write! Not even a week ago, in 2018!) And prophetic. And creative. And cathartic. Aha, a new and blessed way to think about naive. Aha. Thank You, Lord.

Right about then, six years ago, the dogs woke Pete and I stopped writing. The next day I journaled about an early named storm and the several days of rain to come. And then You answered my barely whispered fear, about the storm, about the economy, in words that, again, echo what You told me just yesterday, about Peace:

The world and its circumstances will try continually to pull you off-center. If you can stay in your center with Me, the tug and pull of that will become less and less. Re-magnetize yourself to My Promises and all this tugging and pulling will switch to pushing–to bringing you even more closely aligned with My Will for you life, which can be summed up in one word: blessing. My Will for your life is blessing. Blessing you and through you blessing others. O, little one, do not be afraid. Your path is peace and that means inner peace most of all. I want you to drink from My River of Peace, Deep Peace. Deep Peace of the Running Wave to you. Deep Peace of the Quiet Pool to you Remember the little shell dove on the path at Bodie Island? I Am not scolding you, I Am soothing you. I Am calming you. Maybe you could find something restful, something peaceful, to do today. You smile at that thought, but I mean it.

Lord, I look around and all that fills my thoughts are the need-to’s.

You need to take a deep breath. Maybe you need to journal. Why don’t you write down some things that bring you peace, that are restful and calming?

So good grief, God! Have I learned nothing in six years?!?  And this can’t be a coincidence, either. Six years ago, You talk to me about writing, and then about peace, deep peace, Inner Peace and Calm. And now, You talk to me about writing and then again, about deep peace. So the two are, they have to be connected.

You dialog with Me on the Page, you play and sing, you photograph, you speak, all from a deep inner spring that connects directly to the depth My Spirit provides. It is much like a spring in the natural, that taps into an underground aquifer of purest water. You need to write from this same depth, but you have spent literally years, decades, capping that well.

So, God, again I turn the page and it is all I can do not to cry, because I have been thinking lately about the music, and here come two full pages of dialog, in which I am asking you the exact same questions I have been asking You now. And then I used the word should, as in should I or shouldn’t I do this or that, and You said could, and You said confirmation and a sense of direction. And I didn’t. I didn’t do one single thing written there, in the list of I could. Not one. 

Now do you understand why I spoke the same words again? Gave you the same prompts again? Led you to this exact notebook and these exact pages, to re-affirm to you, once again, you COULD. Not you must. Not you should. But yes, still, you could.

The chance has not passed, passed me by?

Would I be leading you here again if that were so? I Am the God of many, many chances, of many, many coulds. In some ways you are in a stronger position now. You feel too much time has passed. I Who Am Timeless say, your Time is still Now. Always, still, Now. Even, Now. So you could begin. You could begin again.

Full Circle. You just brought me full circle.

Yes, that is what I do.

How many times, Lord?

As many times as it takes.

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Stone of Seeing

I’m gong on a journey, and…that is what another move feels like. That combination of excitement, some fatigue, a little apprehension. Every day a journey, and I think that sums up how I approach every day, actually. And when I say it that way, I see “a little apprehension” as a disconnect. A feeling of but-what-if that is peering ahead at possible negatives. So, God, what is a better response? Not foolhardiness, obviously. Not neglecting wisdom or discernment.

A better response? How about faith. Faith says, “I don’t know the future but I have confidence that…” So, how would you complete the sentence?

Me? Now? Well, I have confidence that You are with me, and that You are guiding me, guiding us. I am still making choices but I can choose from a position of being guided–and that guidance, it’s based on values more than on specific outcomes, I just realized.

Yes, if you are leading with Love and following Love, then you are on a good path. Faith reminds you also that you are not alone, you do have companions.

So…Faith doesn’t guarantee a specific outcome?

Faith guarantees an ultimate outcome but leaves room for life. And that sentence can be read in so many ways! Some read it to mean, a future bliss and plenty of trouble and suffering now. Some read it to mean, God is interested only in the hereafter but the here and now is all up to us and our own effort. What I Am trying to help you understand is this: Faith is not a magic wand. It is more like a Seeing Stone. Faith can help you pick out a path based on the direction you want to walk. You have chosen to walk in Love, now. In Peace, now. And you long to walk in Joy, now. You have chosen to walk Connected, now. Leaving room for life means that you retain the power of choice–and that you remain open to the surprises you like to call serendipity or synchronicity. Faith does not demand a lockstep, predetermined, predestined pace or path. Faith is more interested in relationships than anything else.

So what is the ultimate outcome? Heaven?

The ultimate outcome is full union with Me, yes, as Love Eternal, Love Incarnate, Love Undying. And the ultimate outcome is My Will, manifest. That is true Manifest Destiny. Everyone is destined to be loved completely, sooner or later, here or in eternity. Blessed are the ones who can embrace this reality now. Their lives are easier, not because nothing hard ever happens to them, but because they are companioned through everything.

So, Lord, when I say, I am led by You, what does that mean, exactly? From Your perspective?

It means I view you as a seeker, a seeker of good, a seeker of the highest, best, most loving life for yourself and for those your life touches, however briefly or long. And since those who seek, find–that is spiritual law–it means that your searching is neither empty nor in vain. It means that when you consider multiple paths and multiple outcomes, you will feel nudges and promptings in just the same way you sometimes sense that there is a photograph waiting, a moment waiting for your presence. So you go, and in fact, there is. You tend to ask out of a heart that seeks to find its place in the larger world, amidst all the other hearts asking or vying for their own spots. You don’t begrudge others their paths; you seek to be true to yourself and find the path most in line with your values and your longings to give.

That’s true.

So that kind of commitment inevitably draws to itself the appropriate match, in circumstances, in opportunities, in people. What you have to give matches what the larger world needs in very specific ways and times and circumstances, like the pieces of a puzzle fit together. It doesn’t have to be hard. Your peace and your discernment tell you when something is not a good match or no longer fits.

That is true, too. 

So that is what being led is like. I see and hear and observe and feel your heart. Sometimes I sense when your thought is out of line with your heart. It is those times when you feel most disconnected from yourself, from life, from others, from Me. You think I have withdrawn but I Am actually drawing even closer, in human terms, in those moments, at the ready when you turn and seek once again with your heart. That is why Faith is like a Seeing Stone. You seek, and then you see. And that prompts deeper and wider seeking and seeing.

Thank You Lord. I think I understand a little bit.

Don’t worry too much about “understanding.” True faith like true peace is beyond the understanding. Just go with what you feel and what you know. Don’t worry about pitfalls or rockslides. Your discernment will let you know when it is time to change course.

Like this move, Lord! Talk about synchronicity and serendipity! I say, it seems as if we are being led…and it is true, I felt it. I sensed it. And then I heard it, in my heart. And then the door opened in circumstance. And then literally!

You can trust your feelings. There is an entire body of teaching in the church that says you cannot, that your feelings are unreliable at best or evil at worst. I gave humanity feeling and emotion. It is a GIFT, not a curse. Use this gift as you would use any other gift, in the service of Love, and you will never regret your choices.

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Set Sail

Lord, I keep distracting myself. Meditators say, come back to the breath. And You would say?

There is nothing wrong with thinking per se. Your minds are designed to think–to remember, to reason, to question, to quest, to analyze, to compare, to conclude, to dream and to plan. The difficulty for you arises when your mind and all its thinking is operating separately from your heart, or when your plans don’t sync with your values, or when your words and thoughts stand in opposition to your love or your joy or your peace.

You use thermometers to measure temperature and barometers to measure air pressure. Use your heart, use your relationship with Me, to measure your thoughts. Measure your thinking against My Peace. If your inner landscape agitates you, that is a good time to take a deep breath and press the reset button. If your habits and patterns of thought are drifting into negativity, worry, fear, or judgment, then it’s time to bring them back to confidence and joy. Course-correct.

Good sailors are always alert to the wind, the currents, and the bottom beneath their boat. Even if the wind shifts, they can make adjustments in real time to either keep sailing on course, or find a safe spot to moor. You need to pay as much attention, not to the subject of your thoughts, but to their effect on your mood and your day, as sailors pay to the wind. That will help you reset your sails so you can move by the wind of My Spirit.

Ok, Lord. Check my thinking. Check! √

 

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Conversation

Well, Lord, I did a lot today. Spent a good amount of time at the page this morning, and I really appreciate being able to do that. You helped me clarify a number of things I needed to work out, details about the upcoming season mostly. So this was one of those days I needed some specific direction, and You provided it. Thank You. But that means I didn’t spend the time to talk to You for the world, so to speak. I needed to talk to You for me.

 

This life you are living, peeling back the layers and allowing folks a glimpse into your private world of prayer is making you feel vulnerable, and a bit pressured. You want so much to give value, give something worthy, something helpful.

God, it’s true! I do. I really do.

So here is your message for today, and it is very important. Critical, in fact. You need to talk to Me. That is the message. That is the message for you. And that is the message for your world. Ultimately, that is what this entire effort is about, convincing folks that they can have the same experience of intimacy with Me that you have. In that sense, you are not a prophet but you are an example. I say, not a prophet, because just as you cannot carry the world’s burdens, as we talked about yesterday, I also don’t want you to take on the mindset of having to hear a message tailored for the world, as if I were not going to speak to individuals, individually. So I really do want you to keep doing what we are doing. Keep having these conversations—some deep, in which you explore questions and issues of purpose and puzzlement, and some so seemingly routine, in which you ask, as you did this morning, for daily help, like figuring out a workable schedule with time factored in for everything that is important to you, including times to rest and relax and be creative. This is important for you and your life, so it is important to Me. And it is just the kind of direction so many need and yet they don’t ask Me for My help.

If you can continue to be faithful to share these daily conversations, one of the results will be that others will become bolder to ask Me anything, and tell Me everything. And I tell you, that choice causes more rejoicing in My Father-God heart than you can imagine.

So keep talking, keep listening, and keep being willing to share. And don’t worry about trying to be profound. As I told you before, just keep being real. You are doing more good than you know.

 

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Whale Breath

In looking back at old journals, I found one entry that had a goal of writing in my journal once a week! These pages have shaped me, changed me. They are like whale breath, voluntary but essential. I have thought for a while that the writing of them helps me to listen—and to remember, or if I don’t remember, as a way to be reminded. I remember once years ago I gathered up everything I thought You had spoken to me through others and wrote it all out, but the emotional result was depression, not joy. It puzzled me then, I never understood that. And I have been reluctant to do that kind of exercise since. So the fruit of that effort was not nourishing. Can You help me understand why?

Those were all words other people said to you in My Name, interspersed with what you had sensed on your own. This was a time when “hearing from God” was hard for you and you relied mostly on others, and frankly what you received wasn’t enough. Some of those entries were a sentence or two. You were starving by then, and you had to wade through a lot of mud, a lot of “hard times” entries to get to even those morsels of Me. It wasn’t My true words to you that depressed you. It was the clinging residual of those times that depressed you.

Think about your prayer vision experience, in February 1992. That brought incredible joy. That brought abundance of assurance. That experience changed your life with Me. That was the turning point, the watershed experience. That was a foretaste of how you live now, and its legacy is all good.

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Mapping the Journey

Lord, can You help color in the picture of my life, Eve’s life, being of maximum effect for You? For Your kingdom? I keep coming back in my thought to all You’ve said. I feel a little like a kid playing with the box and not seeing what the amazing thing inside can do!

At least you are playing, you’re engaged—that’s a start. Once play is more comfortable, more of an automatic response, more possibilities will occur to you.

Oh. Oh, okay.

You’ve had such narrow thoughts about ministry. Those thoughts have been very much like playing with the box. They’ve boxed you in and now You are hearing Me calling you to “live outside the box.” What I really mean by that is, take the essence of what once was for you within the box, and live it in the world. Remember your old lyric: “I want to tell all the people I know that they can touch You, Lord.” That’s what I want, too, for you, for your life.

Lord, sometimes I think I’m missing the point and sometimes I think, is this it, this life I live, this is the point. Then I feel this weird combination of feelings, a cross or a mix between relief (it’s ok, I’m doing ok, I’m not disappointing You) and disappointment with myself because this life seems of such little effect compared to

Whoa. Stop right there. “Compared to.” That phrase causes so much trouble for you humans. I don’t want you to compare to or compare with. No one else’s life or experience is to be your mirror. I Am holding your believing mirror. Let Me fill in the map, not of where you have already been, but where you are going. I do want you to have a sense of what, and when. I want you to have Joy in the Journey, and part of that is anticipation. Vision Quests are meant to give vision! I’m not asking you to live in fog. I Am asking you to look to Me and My words to you for your path, your clear path. So let’s define for your life what “maximum effect” is. You’ve been trying to match that to pieces of others’ lives, like a puzzle. I’m going to give you a brand new picture, a brand new map, for your life. Keywords are Joy, and Connection, and Loving-Kindness—all of which bring Peace, as a result.

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Trust

Lord, You said that one way You speak to me is by providing an image in the now, an image meant for a message. So what is the message that goes with the reflections on the Sound?

The more still you are, the more accurately and completely will your life reflect Who I Am. The more agitated you are, the less true is My Reflection through your life because My words are being distorted by fear or doubt or close-mindedness.

I get You saying fear or doubt, but close-minded? I thought I was pretty open-minded.

You still have many shuttered windows and locked doors when it comes to My blessings. You can’t see out, and you say, not possible. Your lack of vision freezes your steps. You want to see a clear path before you take a step.

Isn’t that wisdom?

Not if I’ve spoken to your heart to move.

But how can I know?

Little One, how do you know anything? By trust. You trust the information presented to you, or you trust the one speaking or you prove it true in your experience.

But you can’t just trust everybody!

No, of course not. But I Am not asking you to trust everybody, am I? I’m asking you to trust Me.

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Clarity

Lord, I feel like we have both become discouraged, and discouragement is obscuring. Like, like the dangerous aspect of fog.

You need clarity. There is a reason you de-fog your lens. Too much fog and you can’t focus on anything. Then fog becomes like Silence. You don’t want to be deaf or blind. You want to be clear—clear eyes, clear heart, like clear water. You want to reflect Me and My heart through your life.

Oh, God, the Seat of Seeing I want to sit in is Yours. And the One I want to walk the beach with and listen to is You. And if I take myself on a guided meditation and walk a path through the forest and over the footbridge and into the clearing, the One I want to find there is You. Yes, I’d love talking animals and birds to accompany me, of course! Like Narnia! But as Lucy said, it’s You, Alsan. It’s You.

I Am always with you. I will never leave you. Even when you don’t know what to do, what to say, where to go, where to be, I AM. And I AM by your side, and I Am within you. I fill all things—for you that means I fill all circumstances, all situations, with My Holy Presence. Let Me fill your mind, your thoughts. Let Me fill your body with health and strength. Let Me fill your days and your nights. Let Me fill all things in your life with Myself. Let Me be the air you breathe that sustains you moment by moment. Let My Spirit flow through your body like oxygen-rich blood, energizing and inspiring every part of you. You sing praise. You sing hallelujah—not because I need to hear it, but because it is healing for your soul to remember the Song. Fill yourself with Who I Am. Glow—Sing—Blaze. Stand—Walk—Run—Fly—Soar. Lift yourself up as you lift My Name up in praise and thanksgiving. That is the key for you—sing praise.

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On The Edge

Lord, why am I fatigued?

 

Seriously? You are asking Me why you are fatigued?

Look in the mirror. Pull back and watch your life as you would watch a movie about someone else. What would you say about the character who is you?

Driven, Lord. I’d say driven. Obsessed, even.

 My word says, Be Still and Know. Not, Be Frantic and Know. You are on the edge of a breakdown and you don’t even see it. You are right at the precipice—physically, emotionally, spiritually. Everyone around you sees it. Who are you trying to prove yourself to? The one with the most stress loses.

 So, Lord, here I am.

And Here I Am. But you have not let Me be I AM, your I Am. You have thought you needed to be I am—and especially for everyone else: I am efficient, I am calm, I am a good friend, I am faithful, I am kind, I am loving, I am creative…and you are all those things. But who, Who, is I AM for you? You ask Me for strength and for wisdom so you can continue to be “I am” for all those people. I want to be I AM for you. You ask Me, what can I do? What can I give? And I keep saying, Receive. Let’s increase the flow in your life. You are trying hard to be the riverbed and the spring. Not out of ego but out of a misplaced sense of duty and obligation, as if you had to prove both your love and your worth. For a little while, the only Believing Mirror I want you to look into is Me, not My Word, which you still interpret through older, poisoned voices, but My Eyes. Let My Eyes become your Believing Mirror. Let Me show you what I see, and what I foresee, what I envision.

First, you don’t generate the power, the electricity, the current—I do. Let Me clean off the terminals, the connections, that have become corroded. My cleansing is gentle and with you consists mostly in removing old layers of fear and guilt and shame which have no place in your life today. They are like barnacles; they slow you down. And when you try to pry them off yourself, they only make you bleed and ultimately suffer more.

 

I did not plan humanity for suffering. I planned humanity for bliss. That is why the goal of Buddhism is bliss; otherwise the goal would be increased suffering which anyone but the mentally ill can see is wrong. Buddhism has it almost all right. Life can be hard because of humanity’s choices, not by My design.

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List What You Love

I have some time-space in my days. What should I be doing? I keep putting on the brakes and trying to accelerate simultaneously. All this does is rev the engine, waste gas, and create a rut! Or should I just put it in park, take it out of gear? That’s a choice.

What time did I say it is?

You said not to ever doubt my purpose. And when the tide turns…which to me implies the light changing and time to take the foot off the brake, or the car out of park.

You can take your foot off the brake and coast, or drift. That is not the same as driving. And you need to steer as you drive. You need to stay on course. Stay on your main road. This isn’t a race. This is a journey. This is a road trip. You love adventure, you love new places, you love new experiences. You’ve been putting the brakes—for a long time—on what you love. You’re afraid you will only be disappointed. Why don’t you list what you love, starting with close to home.