Category: Forgiveness

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Full Circle

Oh, Father God! I just “randomly” — but actually I know I was led — picked up an old, old journal. Spring 2012. I’m thumbing through, and reading about writing. About writing more than dialog–which is exactly what You and I have been talking about, six years, six long years later. So on the page I brainstormed titles, I listed possible themes, and then I turned the page. And reading, I turn the page, and I suddenly feel as if I have stepped into a Time Tunnel (one of my favorite shows as a kid, I had a huge crush on James Darren) and I am somehow suspended there, or that my former self and my current self are meeting in these pages. I am reading back and it is as if I am reading what I wrote just days ago, not years ago.

Here it is: Lord, I’ve always wanted to write fantasy, I suddenly realize, because in fantasy things work out. (Current Note: Like Eden!!) You can envision a world where magic happens, and sets to rights. Where ordinary people receive gifts of power and purpose and use them to make a difference in their worlds. Since you’re the crafter of the world, you can make it “work.” You can make it beautiful. You aren’t “naive” — I hate, I admit it, that criticism of myself but what if I embrace it and instead call it was it is, which is Innocence. (The very thing You JUST asked me to write! Not even a week ago, in 2018!) And prophetic. And creative. And cathartic. Aha, a new and blessed way to think about naive. Aha. Thank You, Lord.

Right about then, six years ago, the dogs woke Pete and I stopped writing. The next day I journaled about an early named storm and the several days of rain to come. And then You answered my barely whispered fear, about the storm, about the economy, in words that, again, echo what You told me just yesterday, about Peace:

The world and its circumstances will try continually to pull you off-center. If you can stay in your center with Me, the tug and pull of that will become less and less. Re-magnetize yourself to My Promises and all this tugging and pulling will switch to pushing–to bringing you even more closely aligned with My Will for you life, which can be summed up in one word: blessing. My Will for your life is blessing. Blessing you and through you blessing others. O, little one, do not be afraid. Your path is peace and that means inner peace most of all. I want you to drink from My River of Peace, Deep Peace. Deep Peace of the Running Wave to you. Deep Peace of the Quiet Pool to you Remember the little shell dove on the path at Bodie Island? I Am not scolding you, I Am soothing you. I Am calming you. Maybe you could find something restful, something peaceful, to do today. You smile at that thought, but I mean it.

Lord, I look around and all that fills my thoughts are the need-to’s.

You need to take a deep breath. Maybe you need to journal. Why don’t you write down some things that bring you peace, that are restful and calming?

So good grief, God! Have I learned nothing in six years?!?  And this can’t be a coincidence, either. Six years ago, You talk to me about writing, and then about peace, deep peace, Inner Peace and Calm. And now, You talk to me about writing and then again, about deep peace. So the two are, they have to be connected.

You dialog with Me on the Page, you play and sing, you photograph, you speak, all from a deep inner spring that connects directly to the depth My Spirit provides. It is much like a spring in the natural, that taps into an underground aquifer of purest water. You need to write from this same depth, but you have spent literally years, decades, capping that well.

So, God, again I turn the page and it is all I can do not to cry, because I have been thinking lately about the music, and here come two full pages of dialog, in which I am asking you the exact same questions I have been asking You now. And then I used the word should, as in should I or shouldn’t I do this or that, and You said could, and You said confirmation and a sense of direction. And I didn’t. I didn’t do one single thing written there, in the list of I could. Not one. 

Now do you understand why I spoke the same words again? Gave you the same prompts again? Led you to this exact notebook and these exact pages, to re-affirm to you, once again, you COULD. Not you must. Not you should. But yes, still, you could.

The chance has not passed, passed me by?

Would I be leading you here again if that were so? I Am the God of many, many chances, of many, many coulds. In some ways you are in a stronger position now. You feel too much time has passed. I Who Am Timeless say, your Time is still Now. Always, still, Now. Even, Now. So you could begin. You could begin again.

Full Circle. You just brought me full circle.

Yes, that is what I do.

How many times, Lord?

As many times as it takes.

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Mirroring

God, I feel as if I can talk to You about anything. And increasingly, at any time. So I want to talk to You about my fingers. About this decades-old habit, started when I was, what? You know. Three? Four? Five? This lifelong habit I have of picking my fingers, which drives Pete crazy, and which, for all these years, I have assumed You judged me for. I certainly have judged myself. And in that judgment, I named the habit sin, which I really think, thought, it is. Until I was falling asleep–or between sleep and waking–and You said, I think it was You, something extraordinary. And I want and need to talk to You about it.

You said You didn’t see this habit as sin. Is that true? Was that You, that sudden thought in my head, so contrary to the way I have thought?

Yes, that was Me. What I need you to understand is that all the times you felt prompted by Me to stop, those leadings were not to lead you out of something I was judging you guilty for. I have asked you to stop because of what the habit is doing to you. I see, deeper than you yourself see, the sense of shame and guilt and even despair you carry, over this seemingly simple little habit. You began as a way to handle stress and tension in your house when you were a very young child. You have used it ever since, when you were tired, or stressed, or afraid, or under any kind of accusation. To keep yourself silent, you took to tearing at yourself.

Let Me ask you a question. In fact, let Me ask you several questions.

Would you reach over, take Pete’s hands in yours, and begin systematically to tear at his fingers?

No, of course not!

Would you do this to a close friend?

No.

To an acquaintance, perhaps?

No.

How about a stranger? Would you feel free, would you be motivated, to do that  to a stranger’s hands?

No, Lord. You know not.

Well, how about someone who hurt you? Would you reach out and hurt them back in this way?

NO.

Okay, well, what about an animal, then? Would you do something comparable to an animal?

No, never.

So. Last question. Would you, if you could be with Me in a physical way, would you do this to Me?

No, Lord, of course not!

Look at what you are saying. You are making yourself less than anyone else you would ever know, or meet. Less than the animals, whom you purport to love.

I do love them, You know I do.

Here is what I know: you do not yet fully love yourself. You have not yet fully received the depth, the breadth, the length and the height of My love for you. I have asked you to stop, and told you that stopping will open doors to greater service and ministry, not because this habit is sinful in My eyes, but because it reveals you are not yet fully healed, fully whole. You don’t see yourself as I see you, and you see yourself much less clearly than you see every other living thing on the planet.

Lord, something set me off this past spring. Sometimes I know my triggers but this time I am not sure what did it. I was fine, I was okay all during Pete not feeling well last fall, and holidays with family which are always stressful, and then the decision to move Yellowhouse, everything involved with that, and then suddenly something upset me to the point I started again.

And the shame of starting has fueled you to continue. That is what I want to address, and relieve–your deep sense of shame. Every one of My Children is worthy of love, of My Love. Every one of My Children begins as a precious and innocent being. And as you well know, I will move heaven and earth to show each one the truth of that Love. So what do I have to do, what can I say, to bring you to a place where the mirror you look deeply into is My Eyes of Love for you?

That sounds like a Vision Quest question.

Indeed it is. You have an old, flawed, distorted mirror. I would like to lead you away from that mirror to a place where you can see a clear, honest, pure reflection. You have been afraid to come to that place, seeing it as a place of shame and accusation, which is what you are running from, and what your tearing at your fingers is an expression of. But I Am calling you, asking you, pleading with you, please stop running. Stop running from your own precious self. Stop running from the you I see, the you I love, the you I chose before you were even born. Be willing to live in the light I Am offering you now, and I promise you, the compulsion you have felt for the past five-and-a-half decades will lose its grip and its power on your mind and your heart.

I Am asking you because your pain grieves Me, and I would relieve it. But we must be partners for that to happen. Because this originated in your feelings about yourself, you have to have a part in its resolution. This isn’t a work I can do by Myself; I need you as My Partner in your wholeness.

Okay, Lord. I really do want to be free of it. 

Yes, I know you do. But hear Me well — you need to be free of your distorted view of yourself, in order to be free of the habit you so despise. You think the habit is causing the distorted self-image, but I tell you, the reverse is true. The distorted self-image is manifesting in your habit, not the other way around. So Come. Come to My Pool of Reflection; stand here beside Me, look into My Love and see what I see. You–and your life–will never be the same.

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Peace and Protection

Lord, You have said before I can’t weave protection around those I love. But You can. So I am asking, again, in ways I didn’t necessarily feel before, for Your physical protection for them, for all of them. When I come to the end of me, I need to find You.

You always look for good. You always seek Me out. In another world, a fantasy-world, you would be the one spotting the Runes in the rocks, in the forest, off the trail. You would be the one hearing BirdSpeech, hearing RiverTalk. Those around you would see only pebbles, just leaves on the ground, and hear only chattering, only gurgles.

Your insistence on walking this way might annoy them. Likely they would call you crazy, or strange, or off. You might even be accused of being on the Wrong Side.

You have blazed a trail–your life–to My heart.

You have read the rocks and leaves, as your lyric says, of Me.

Because you have chosen this way of Peace, of Gentleness, you feel deeply the actions and choices of those around you who are not on this path.

Lord, it’s like that movie Avatar, when they bulldozed the Forest. That destruction. Where is the peace in that?

The Peace is in your own heart, beating in rhythm to My heart. Little One, others are choosing violence every day, violent games, violent movies, comedy based on put-downs and insults, sarcastic judging of others. Violent or angry people draw into their world what they focus on most.

Since you focus most on Peace, that is what you draw, from My Storehouse of Blessing, into your world. When Jesus warned about pearls before swine He was merely expressing, with a great sadness, a reality about swine life. As long as they remain in that mindset, they don’t see the blessings provided every day, and they will turn on those who see like you see.

Lord, when I hear about violence, on the news, say, I think about the victims, pray for them or their families, but dare I whisper this, I also ask that there is some kind of investigation that helps, really helps the attackers, because this kind of violence has to have been spawned somehow.

You are asking for Mercy with Justice. This is Who I Am. You are less interested in punishment for punishment’s sake and more interested that everyone involved be healed and made whole. Others may seek only retribution, out of a mindset that answers violence with a violent response. Remember My cry from the Cross when you need to remember My Heart: Father, forgive them…

Lord, I just realized something! I hope I can express it in words. If there is Peace, that in itself IS protection. I mean, in true peace, total peace, there is nothing to protect from, to shield against. It is like flipping a switch. Peace is its own world–the New World You speak of. Wow. Peace IS protection. Never thought about that. So when I pray for protection, I am really praying for peace. I love that. I love that. 

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Grace

Lord, I’ve been remembering, 45 years ago this very weekend, not Easter–Easter was later back in 1973–but this weekend, how I decided even though we were not a church-going family at that point, to give my life to You, to knowing You, to being Yours. What I remember the most was saying to You then, at 16 years old, I want this to be real, and I want this to be for always. I don’t want to make this commitment now and then renege on it later. I want this to last. And it has. Sure, I had some ups and downs, not so much in my belief in Your existence as in my understanding of how powerful and true and real Your Love is. Once I began to build a relationship with You based on Love and not on fear, everything changed. My whole life changed. I am so grateful, God. You stuck with me, even when my understanding was flawed, or incomplete, enough so that I made some really poor decisions at times. Yet You were faithful despite all of that, faithful to continue to call me Yours. I think I will spend the rest of my life, the rest of eternity, trying to find more ways to say thank You. I guess that is why I keep trying to give other folks the benefit of the doubt, as the saying goes. That is what You did for me. Even when I doubted, You gave me the benefit of Your love despite my doubt. I guess that is what Grace means, right? 

Grace shows the lengths that I will go to bring each of My children, each of My sheep, home. And what is home, but a sanctuary of safety and love? I went to the Cross precisely so that I could say, Father forgive them.

Lord, I had this insight a couple years back; at least, it felt like insight at the time. You didn’t say, Father forgive them because they are so sorry. You did not wait for humans to be sorry, or to apologize, or to change, or even to ask for forgiveness. You proclaimed it in advance. And You proclaimed it over a terrible act, Your own betrayal and murder. You didn’t say, Father forgive them when they realize what they have done…not even that! You just said it like it is–they don’t know what they are doing. And isn’t that true so often of all of us? We THINK we know, but we don’t. And in that moment, there was no sorrow, there was no repentance, no change of mind or heart or purpose. So when that insight came, it seemed to me at the time to have come from You. I am not sure I would or could have thought that up on my own.

You did not. Indeed, that was Me teaching you.

So… So Your response was not to judge, not to proclaim righteous judgment, or anger, or even to ask for justice. You did not even ask that they would be made sorry! Your response was to ask for mercy–in the very moments of Your dying, You are asking that those putting You to death be forgiven. Am I right? Is that what You meant? And so…what does that mean today? In our time? At this Easter, 2018?

Just as some believe the window on miracles, or answered prayers, has closed, so some believe the window on mercy has closed as well, or at least, has narrowed and shuttered to admit a very limited number into the inner circle of My Favor and forgiveness. The criteria for earning that forgiveness varies according to doctrine, but the general idea that My forgiveness is limited is the principle that has endured through the centuries within numerous faith traditions that disagree on many aspects of worship or service or the afterlife. The one agreement seems to be, entry into My Kingdom, be that favor on earth or favor after death, is limited. These same traditions then teach different criteria for admission! From each one’s perspective, all the other traditions seem wrong, and only theirs is correct and true. No wonder so many have rejected all of them wholesale!

There are prayers I always delight to answer in the affirmative. One of those is, Father, please forgive them. Of course, I always also hear, Father please forgive me…but those prayers often have to be repeated again and again as the petitioners’ behavior remains the same. But prayers for forgiveness of others, forgiveness for those who have wronged the one praying, those prayers are powerful, and are based in love and compassion and a true commitment to peace and accord. That is the prayer Jesus prayed from the Cross. That kind of prayer always gets heard. Do you think I would answer NO! to a prayer uttered in that spirit, with that heart, from My Own Son? From One Whose life and love mirrors My Father-God’s heart?

Over and over you have examples of His refusal to enact revenge, of His trying to teach about mercy and grace. Yet so many, in His Name, will use this weekend to proclaim a mercy that is stingy or so full of conditions it is not mercy at all–it is reward for following a rulebook of codes for behavior.

What this means in your time is the same thing it meant when Jesus uttered those words in the first place: I, God, Am constantly answering His prayer for mercy, with every act of human injustice, with every deliberate action of evil, for all the ways humans hurt one another. I Am always, always working to mitigate ill-will and to encourage the reuniting of humanity, humans with humans, humans with nature, humans with Me. Here is a hard question–what do you think about that kind of radical mercy? The kind of mercy that would ask for and proclaim forgiveness even in the midst of the unspeakable act? The mercy that would extend a hand not only to the one drowning but to the one watching on shore doing nothing to help? The mercy that turns the key in the lock and throws open the jail cell door even as the sentence of judgement is being shouted out by the pious mob? What kind of justice is this, that offers and extends and in fact insists on mercy? The Divine kind. The kind that says, mercy triumphs over judgment. Mercy wins the day. The kind that knows, the one who is forgiven much, loves much. The kind that is building a kingdom, one act at a time, one hour at a time, one life at a time, all on love.

Lord, I decided some time ago, I want to be a part of that kingdom. I think I have some friends who will decide that is heresy. That judgment is the last result.

They are mistaken. And you know what is precious about that? Their being mistaken does not jeopardize their eternal destiny one bit! They may well be surprised by discovering how broad and wide and deep and rich My Love actually is. But in that Moment, when they understand, all their misunderstanding will melt away, and only full understanding, and their own reciprocal love, will remain.

The same is true of those who have committed acts of unkindness–or worse–on earth. In the Moment when full understanding comes for them, so comes full regret and the weight of that regret will be unbearable. You were correct when you shared that insight with another recently. That is indeed the Moment of wailing and gnashing of teeth. And right at that exact Moment, Here I Am, the Burden-Lifter. When their burden of regret is lifted, and is replaced by My Mercy and Forgiveness, the answering response of their soul will be gratitude and love so great they will not be able to contain it. The overflow of the love and gratitude from those many would call the “worst sinners” will become the sweetest perfume in all of heaven. No earthly rose can rival that perfume! What will be evident throughout eternity is the strength of My Love and My Grace–not My Justice, nor My Retribution, but My Mercy. For I Am He Who Pardons. Remember when Jesus said, so you love those who love you? What great thing is that? Love in the way Your Father in Heaven loves, for He sends His rain–His blessing–on the just and the unjust alike.

I tell you, that is the “perfection” Jesus was speaking of — full, complete, whole Love. That is the Love I Am. That is the Love I Give. That is the Love you will know in fullness, after your earthly life ceases. That is the Love that everyone will know–for My Will shall be done, and it is not My Will that any perish, but that ALL come to repentance. In that Moment, that Moment of clarity and understanding and regret, all shall come to repentance, to the intensity of wanting to have made a different choice, not out of a desire to save their own souls but out of a desire to not have caused such suffering for others–THAT is repentance, and that is the Moment when Grace and Mercy flow. That is tripping the switch that floods the soul with light and with love.

So who do you think has the most joy, the deepest appreciation of grace, and the greatest capacity for love? Those who feel they don’t have anything to apologize for, that they are righteous in themselves, that they have followed the rules “well enough” — or those that realize all their mistakes, all their missteps, all their acts of unkindness have been wiped off the record books by the mercy and love of Someone much greater than themselves? Someone with the capability and capacity to inflict great punishment, but Who chooses instead to show great mercy?

God, I would assume the second ones. The ones who receive the most mercy, let’s say. The ones I would probably shun, or judge, if I met them here, now, before they received that mercy. Gosh, God, how can I ever learn to love like You love?

You know how married people begin to look like each other after they spend 40, 50, 60 years together? How their gestures begin to be the same? How their shared experiences and shared life make a new whole, still individuals, yet also one? This weekend is our 45th anniversary, yours and Mine. You look a little more like Me with every passing year. You already have grown beyond what you thought was your capacity and ability to love and embrace others unlike yourself. Start with compassion. If you can extend compassion, it is a very small step to extending mercy and forgiveness, and from there, it is a small step indeed to extending Love.

 

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Disconnected

Whew! I just tried to open this page and got the “not connected to internet” message–several times. Tried Pete’s computer which was fine, came back in, jiggled some wires, and here I am.

And what message did you get from that?

Honestly, God, the very first thing I thought of was how hectic my day was, and how I didn’t take time to connect deliberately with You in the morning. I am doing it now, at the end of my day instead of at the beginning.

You felt disconnected?

I did. All day long I was scattered. I’d woken with a migraine which went away a couple hours after I took my imitrex, and thank You and thank them again, whoever was involved in its formulation, but that put me behind schedule. 

But were you really disconnected? Is your internet service truly out, or did it just require a little effort, the tiniest focus and intent, on your part?

That’s all. It was weird.

Not weird. Wired. You just needed a gentle reminder that, despite your feeling disconnected, you are never truly disconnected from Me because I Am never disconnected from you. You might have to–as you say–jiggle your wires a minute, set your receptors and your attention on hearing from Me, and then what happens? Here I Am. Right where I was all day, patiently waiting for you to be ready, to reach out.

God, this connection we have, it is amazing. And I am so afraid that it is like my internet service is sometimes, temperamental, fragile, easily broken. Can I just say it? I am afraid I am going to wake up some morning and it will just be gone. You will just be silent. Or I will just be deaf.

I know. I know all your fears and where they originate. That is why I tell you over and over, in so many different ways, don’t be afraid; you are not alone; I will never leave you. The only reason it seemed to take years to hear directly from Me is that for years, you did not believe you could. You did not believe I would speak to you, “little you.” You tended to belittle yourself instead of seeing how great My Love is, how I long to reach out and connect to every single one of My Children, no matter whether they think of themselves as great, or small and insignificant. There is no one immune from My Love or My Presence. No one is so great that I Am not needed–although that need may not be recognized. And although many, many think themselves too small for My attention, no one is small or insignificant in My reckoning.

God, sometimes I try to quantify your love, and I just can’t. I can’t make it big enough or long enough or wide enough.

Do you remember when you first learned of infinity in math class? How you could keep adding a number at the end of a string of numbers and go on forever? Well, that is one metaphor for My Being. And since My Being is Love, there is no end, no finishing point, to My Love. There is no place and no time where anyone can move past My Love. There is no boundary beyond which My Love does not exist. I, and My Love, are Infinite. Most of your human conversations are about boundaries of some sort, boundaries of geography, of distance, of time; limitations of strength or duration. Even events such as your Olympic Games, where athletes push beyond previous boundaries and set new records, are based on the idea that each new boundary will someday be broken, perhaps by milliseconds. Such precise measurement of boundaries makes the concept of Limitless and Timeless impossible to understand with a finite mind housed in a body whose very physicality imposes constant limits.

So, Lord, I have to ask. If there is no place, no time, no existence where You are not…that is what You are saying, right?

That is what I Am saying.

Then what about Hell? What about that place of “wailing and gnashing of teeth”? That place where You are not. That place of torment that people go to, depending on different criteria but in a broad stroke sense, if they don’t live in a way that provides entrance into Your Presence forever, which is what Heaven is. Are You saying Hell isn’t real? Jesus talked about Hell.

This is hard to explain given the limitations of words and your experience. At the moment of what you call death, everyone will come into My Presence. No exceptions. Now, some folks will immediately rejoice. They will be able to perceive where they are (even “where” is not an accurate word). Let’s say it this way–they will be able to perceive My Presence and literally be engulfed in the Love, the Peace, the Joy that My Presence provides. Other folks, particularly those whose lives caused harm to others, or even to themselves, will also perceive My Presence, and the Light and Truth of that Presence will create a great chasm within them of regret and remorse. They will perceive in that instance every action, every thought, every word that was in opposition to what they are experiencing around and within them. It is that regret and remorse that will cause the wailing and gnashing of teeth. Now, I want you to imagine for just a minute, in your finite way, that someone is in front of you in that kind of pain. Maybe that person even hurt you, way back when. What do you do now?

God, good grief. I am crying right now. I think, I hope, I would do anything, anything I could, to quell that pain for them. I hope I would. I can’t stand it, can’t stand the thought of it. Can’t You do something? Can’t You fix this?

You see, you have so much of My Heart in you already. I have done something, and the something I have done has the name Forgiveness. Grace. Mercy. Lovingkindness. So now imagine Me wrapping My arms around that regret, that remorse, and kissing it away. Now how do you feel?

Geez, God, now I am sobbing. 

And?

So much joy. So much giddy joy. Really? Me? This is really for me? That is what I would be feeling, if I were the one in pain. And if I were the one able to relieve that pain, wow. What an incredible feeling.

Love is the Greatest Power of all. It is Mine to give and it is Mine to withhold. Here is what so many cannot understand–I do not choose to withhold it. I could, of course I could. But then I would no longer be Good. I might be God, but I would not be Good. But as you are so fond of saying, I Am Good, all the Time. And Beyond Time.

God, you know one of my favorite verses is, the one who is forgiven much loves much.

Yes, that is why there is only Love in heaven. Even those you might consider the worst offenders, once mercy is extended to them, overflow for eternity with gratitude and love. And those who enter heaven with the most remorse initially are the strongest defenders and protectors of life on earth. To use your human terms, it is their amends.

Wow, God. That…that isn’t what I was taught. But it rings true. I have thought for a while that You had more to say on this subject…but I was afraid to ask.

You don’t have to be afraid to ask, or question. Just remember Who you are talking to, and lean into My Love.

So…there is no disconnection. In eternity.

Exactly. Now you begin to understand.

Can I ask one more question?

Of course you may.

What about faith? What about those on earth who have no faith?

A better way to phrase that is, who have no understanding. In that moment of death, they will all Understand. They will Know. They will Receive. And for eternity, they will Love and they will Give. Rest assured in that. Be at peace in that.

 

 

 

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Chewing on forgiveness

Lord, I am sitting here at the page with lots of swirling thoughts and I’m tired. I just realized, I really am tired. I’m leaking joy too. So am I tired because I am leaking joy, or am I leaking joy because I am tired?

Which came first? That is your answer.

Well, there have been several things back to back that (all I can think of are cliches, another fatigue sign) let the air out of my tires…took the wind out of my sails…robbed my joy, all of which have left me tired. I think the fatigue is a result, not the cause.

Yes, remember, the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Yes, I love that verse. So I learned this afternoon that a classmate died, and another is in the hospital, really ill. That is one sort of upset. The other is very different. Every time I do inventory and find items are missing, likely stolen, I always feel badly that someone would do that. Of course now I also have to pay the artist. I am feeling a bit betrayed by that. And while folks have expressed support so far for our upcoming gallery move, I am remembering the last time we had to move, and it’s stirring up a lot of feelings, I think. We were misunderstood and falsely accused by folks who didn’t understand our reasons, folks who didn’t have the full set of facts. I hate being misunderstood. I always feel as if I have to explain. Friends tell me not to bother. So why does it bother me?

It bothers you because of who you are. You are always trying to look out for those around you, to give the benefit of the doubt whenever you can, even to the point of making excuses for unacceptable behavior.

Isn’t that what forgiveness is? Isn’t that what we are called to do?

Make excuses for unacceptable behavior? Absolutely not! Every time I forgive, I Am extending a chance and a choice–a choice to do better, to live better, not to overlook bad behavior and certainly not to encourage it to continue.

So what should I do when I feel falsely accused?

The answer really does depend on the situation. Sometimes it is best to turn aside, and not to respond or retaliate.

Like turning the other cheek?

Yes–but not to give yourself over to be beaten. That was never what I meant, although folks have assumed so. I really meant what I just said–turn aside. Don’t keep standing there, taking it on the cheek. Turn aside, step aside. Don’t stay, and don’t hit back. Turning aside is the third way.

Aha! I get it. So You said sometimes it is best to do that. What other choices are there?

Sometimes it is best to speak up and give your perspective, your side of the story. Sometimes those listening will be interested in the truth but unfortunately, not always. The key for you is to do what you are doing right now. Don’t be like a squirrel, burying your grievances and going back and digging them back up, chewing on the same incidents over and over. What will help you let go and move on in peace? That is the question. The answer is never to bury your feelings only to have them fester and resurface. That only hurts you more in the long run.

If you could say one thing to any of those people you are thinking about, what would that one thing be?

You mean, and have it be effective? Or even if it fell on deaf ears? (See, another cliche. I really am tired.)

Either way. Say you don’t know the outcome in advance. What would you say?

I think I would say something like, I want you to know that I know what you’ve done, or what you’ve said, and I just want to say, you are making a mistake. You may or may not realize it now, but I pray you will realize it soon. You might not have a chance to make restitution to me, but you will have an opportunity somewhere down the road to do the right thing. So I am asking you to remember, to remember this, and do the right thing the next time. And I release you.

Release how?

Just release. Release from the burden, whatever burden, whatever thought, made the person make the wrong choice to begin with. Release from the initial cause.

In other words, you would pronounce forgiveness–for this is what forgiveness is. Release into a new, freer life.

Yes, I guess I would. I am not interested in punishment per se, I’m just not. I’m interested in healing. Although I will say, I am very interested in those who hurt others not being able to continue doing so, willy-nilly. In that sense, I guess I favor not punishment so much as restraint.

True healing, true repentance–a change of mind and behavior–is the best restraint. A true change involves an encounter with radical Love. When you are able to choose that kind of release, you are offering to that person a glimpse of My Kingdom, where radical Love reigns. You are, in the words of St. Paul, acting as My Ambassador, inviting them into a new life of conscious, conscientious connection with Me.

So tonight, when you list your gratitudes, be sure to include this one from Me–I Am grateful that you chose to bring this up with Me rather than burying it. Now I can renew and refresh and release you.

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Within the Circle

Lord, I want so much to have this radical connection. I do. I mean…I don’t know. I want everyone to get along. But what if they don’t? What stand do I take then? I am thinking about the kitties, all the kitties. How Morgan wasn’t safe for the others. And then, Lord, I tamed him. Or You did. He heard my heart somehow. Back then, I thought at first I was hearing You tell me to forgive him, when he was fighting with the others.

Actually, what you were saying was that you would accept Morgan into the Circle if his behavior changed. Even then, you felt compassion for him. You wished you could help him. You were concerned that your actions would make him worse. And when he did change, when he did grow calmer, you welcomed him and loved him and gave him his first real taste of love, of safety, right before he passed.

Yours is the classic boundaries struggle. Listen to yourself. Listen to what you already know. It is okay to have a circle. It is okay to define the parameters for that circle, to set values for that circle, values like tolerance and gentleness. It is okay to draw a line of definition. Your circle expands outward, but the definition does not change. You are willing to let your circle expand–I Am saying to you, don’t distort its shape and purpose to make it a lasso. Keep maintaining your intention of connection and peace. Attract into your circle–of friends, of animals, of family, of customers, of clients, of artists, of collaborators–everyone and anyone who is of like mind and heart. Keep your heart steady and true. This is what you do. This is who you are. Live from that center.

What about forgiveness?

Forgiveness and tolerance are not the same thing. You can forgive and simultaneously refuse to tolerate.

How, Lord?

Think like this: every day, you gave Morgan another chance. You put out food in a place away from the others so he would not starve. At the same time, you guarded the others so he could not approach them until he was fully tamed. You did this all over again with your current feral, Torri. And you are doing it again, right now, with Sambo. And look what happened, look what is happening. Your willingness to both forgive, while not tolerating unacceptable behavior changed Morgan, changed Torri, and is changing Sambo.

What about people?

Forgiveness, as you know, means setting you free from being tied to punishing someone else. Forgiveness seeks healing and restoration. Forgiveness wants the best for the other person. Forgiveness does not excuse or make light of wrong. Forgiveness especially does not signal that bad behavior is all right, or is excused or excusable.

Like my prayer years ago: please don’t punish so-and-so on my account.

Exactly. Forgiveness practiced the way I intend it builds compassion, not doormats. It does not minimize or trivialize any wrong, any betrayal, any abuse, any suffering inflicted on another. Forgiveness makes a way for transformation and change. The true miracle in the story is that your actions and choices made a way for each of those kitties to make their own different choices, to be drawn to you by your heart, which truly wanted–and wants–the best for all of them. They sense that. Try this: try praying for your planet, your country, your leaders, anyone in your circle that you care about, anyone just outside your circle that you are concerned about, try praying that just as the kitties sense your heart for them, these people will sense My Heart for them. That, I promise you, changes everything.

 

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Transformation by Forgiveness

I am remembering an old lyric: I am just a little one, but I want to do my part. To the extent, oh Lord, that I can hold Your fullness, Lord Jesus, come and fill my heart.

Every time you pray the intent of that prayer, your capacity expands. You set the tone of your day, you set the tone of your life, here.

Now it’s time for another step of growth. You still harbor secret, buried feelings of anger toward the angry. This just gives them and their anger power over that part of your mind and heart. I don’t want you to agitate and fight against. I don’t want you to ignore and pretend it doesn’t exist or doesn’t hurt, or doesn’t do harm, either. I want you to do a third thing. Some call it forgiveness.

I want you to surround, in your mind and heart, every bit of news you hear, whether national or global or personal, with an effervescence of goodness, of love and peace and joy and mercy and healing and light. Bring Color to the grey. Where there is just harsh, shrill, loud noise, bring melody and harmony. Surround in your mind’s eye every bit of it with floating, dancing bubbles of Better. Better choices. A Better outcome. Someone says something nasty about someone else? Surround them both. See an ad for an abused animals fund? Surround the whole thing. Gang violence? Surround the neighborhood. Corruption in business or politics? Surround it.

This new response will take practice. You will sometimes feel discouraged. The task will seem too great, the needs to be surrounded too many and overwhelming. Come back to small at those times. Let intention grow. I promise you, this will become a signature part of your life, just as gratitude has. Your gratitude lists began as small daily observances and thanksgivings. Let this be that way, too.

Oh, Lord, You’ve spoken to me this way before. I need to ask Your forgiveness—I haven’t been doing this. I forgot.

This is why I never tire of telling you the same things, as many times as you need to hear them again, hear them fresh. Don’t fret over minutes or days past. Just begin again.

Just like that?

It only takes one second, one decision, one yes, to change everything.

Ok, Lord, thank You. And, yes.

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Heaven

Lord, I was thinking, if I died today, who in heaven would be there, to meet me, I mean? If I think of eternity as timeless, then people not yet born, people not yet died, could be there, but that complicates things. I was imagining, say, 20 years from now, and a heaven where even those who hurt me were there, were sorry, were healed themselves, and we could have in Eternity the relationship we didn’t have—couldn’t have—here.

Your first vision of heaven was as a place of healing, of reconciliation, of peace and love and forgiveness, a place of restoration and joy. Not judgment. Not regret. A place where all is put to rights, in body, mind and spirit. Do you think you can out-vision Me? Do you think you can out-imagine Me? Where do you think this vision comes from? In your vision there is only peace, not punishment, not torture. There are, literally, no more enemies in your vision. All swords, even Mine, are plowshares. You didn’t dream this on your own. You are tapping into the deep vein of My Love, My Peace. For those who must have vengeance, My Blood satisfies. But you have gone deeper even than this. You’ve gone to the bedrock of “seventy times seven.” That is why you don’t focus so much anymore on My Cross. That’s why you focus on My Rising. You picture Me alive, not dying.

 

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Forgiveness

Lord, my friend thinks I am burdened, the burden a funeral is, all of it focused down on one physical spot. I thought I released all that a few months ago.

You forgave. You truly forgave. But forgiveness and release aren’t the same things. Forgiveness released those others. Forgiveness released your anger—but not your sorrow. And the sorrow continues to be compounded—like opening an old wound, almost every time you go there or have a conversation about it.

Lord, I have tried to be numb to it, but I’m not. I’m just not. So I thought my trying to be understanding and compassionate was walking in forgiveness. No?

Forgiveness says two things: It says, Lord, please release them—which you have done, which you do, over and over. It also asks, Lord, please release me. Your compassion for them is great, both in its commitment and strength, but the burden of the wound is getting deeper and more infected. Remember what forgiveness isn’t: it isn’t permission to keep being a target. You have forgotten the part of the story where forgiving releases you.

But I can’t just leave the situation.

You can leave the conversation. You can bring the focus back to you. You are always deflecting it, trying so hard to calm the waters in their souls. What about your soul?