Category: Direction

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Winter Gifts

Lord, I keep circling back around to the Four Directions.

What is your attraction to the Four Directions?

I love the balance of it. The aspect of stages of journey and growth, and the metaphors about how we perceive the world, and You, and ourselves. I like compasses and direction-finding, all the analogies.

 You have moved around the wheel many times, and you have stood or sat in the Center, trying to hold all the directions at once as balance. You always move around the wheel clockwise, corresponding to the seasons. You just began a new year, both in your calendar and with your birthday, and you are readying for a new business year as well. For you, the year begins in winter. For your friend in Australia, the year begins in summer, something beyond your reckoning, your experience. You’ve fallen ino patterns of thinking out of habit. So let’s walk the wheel backwards, in reverse, for a change. Jesus said, become as little children—that’s circling the wheel counter-clockwise.

That is counter-intuitive!

Let’s start where you are, in your year, in your body. Let’s start in the north, in winter, in the season of rest and reflection. Let’s start with all that is frozen and iced-over in you.

Lord, isn’t winter also about Wisdom and being an elder?

The Winter Gift of Rest is Wisdom, but that is not where you are, physically or emotionally. You still resist My Gifts of Rest. You eagerly embrace the gifts of the other directions, the other seasons of life, and relate them to work, to activity, to productivity. You resist winter’s gifts.

Doesn’t winter mean retirement: I mean that literally, like the last train station stop?

You are able to receive all three of the other directions within your life’s ages and stages—but not winter. So it is fitting we start here.

Some creatures hibernate all winter, sleeping away the cold in cozy dens, it is true. Others thrive in winter, making great migratory journeys to warmer climes. Winter can be about epic journeys—journeys to lands of plenty, to easier-to-find sources of nourishment and refreshment. Winter can be that for you. Think about your working life a minute. You often create your best images in a quiet winter setting, whether still and meditative or brightly vibrant. You used to always take your Florida vacation in winter, mimicking a migratory journey. You have sometimes used the slower months of winter to explore new creative outlets, or to write. Winter was a more balanced time of rest and creativity than it has become for you now.

So what am I supposed to do? In 2010 Patrick moved in. In 2011 Pete was sick. In 2012 we—he—renovated our gallery’s first home. In 2013 we had to leave that cottage and find, and renovate, new space. In 2014, we had a break, our last real vacation. Late in 2015 we bought SeaDragon and I had a lot to learn and quickly, to get ready for a new venture in a new place. Last winter we both hurt our backs, after the hurricane, and couldn’t go much of anywhere. This year we are once again moving, working to make a new space feel and look beautiful and welcoming. I don’t know how to balance work and rest—especially when I am trying to keep up with someone else’s pace.

You will miss all of winter’s gifts if you try to keep up. Remember the fox tracks you and Karen found in the snow in Carova, all those years ago? You need to set a pace for yourself that is sustainable, physically and emotionally and spiritually. What did I tell you before about choices?

To follow peace and joy.

So how much peace, how much joy, is your current pace providing? You are trying to skip over winter’s rest, morph it into summer’s pace of productivity and you are missing all of winter’s gifts in the process, gifts of presence of birds and wildlife. Gifts of words in books and essays, others’ words and your own. Gifts of subtle beauty in the landscape you are dashing right by. I want you to take up your walking stick and walk once again into winter. Amble a little. Set your pace to My rhythm. Do some of those winter delights that restore you. “Chill out” – a perfect winter turn of phrase. Allow your creativity to awaken and stir and stretch as you allow your body some rest and a slower pace. And if you must consider productivity, consider this—which images sell best, in your busy summer season?

The winter ones. Late fall to winter.

Exactly. The gifts you receive now will translate directly into summertime sharing—but only if you align yourself on the wheel to fully embrace winter and its gifts.

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Set Sail

Lord, I keep distracting myself. Meditators say, come back to the breath. And You would say?

There is nothing wrong with thinking per se. Your minds are designed to think–to remember, to reason, to question, to quest, to analyze, to compare, to conclude, to dream and to plan. The difficulty for you arises when your mind and all its thinking is operating separately from your heart, or when your plans don’t sync with your values, or when your words and thoughts stand in opposition to your love or your joy or your peace.

You use thermometers to measure temperature and barometers to measure air pressure. Use your heart, use your relationship with Me, to measure your thoughts. Measure your thinking against My Peace. If your inner landscape agitates you, that is a good time to take a deep breath and press the reset button. If your habits and patterns of thought are drifting into negativity, worry, fear, or judgment, then it’s time to bring them back to confidence and joy. Course-correct.

Good sailors are always alert to the wind, the currents, and the bottom beneath their boat. Even if the wind shifts, they can make adjustments in real time to either keep sailing on course, or find a safe spot to moor. You need to pay as much attention, not to the subject of your thoughts, but to their effect on your mood and your day, as sailors pay to the wind. That will help you reset your sails so you can move by the wind of My Spirit.

Ok, Lord. Check my thinking. Check! √

 

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Going Sane

Lord, You know those trust games people play at team-building retreats? You close your eyes and let yourself fall back, trusting your team partner will catch you. Well, I just realized, I am doing that here. I mean, this is a practice in trust. Every day I show up, trusting You will show up. And then, encapsulated in that, I am trusting You are You, You are good, You will speak truth. And that I am not crazy.

With all the evidence you have, from all your years with Me, you’d be crazier not to believe, not to trust. I want to talk to you about expectancy. 12-step recovery programs warn about expectations, about putting trust in others.

Yes, they say that sets a person up for disappointment, and resentments. 

But the very foundation of a successful program in recovery rests on a key assumption and expectation: that a “power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

Yes.

So in this case, one particular expectation leads directly away from “crazy” — and that is trust and reliance outside oneself. When you rely on Me, you are relying on first, in the words of the program, a Power Greater. A Power Available. But I Am so much more, as you know, than a Power. I Am a Person, Who loves you. So you are not relying on a Power, you are relying on a Person.

Yes, right.

So let’s use this language for a minute. What in your life feels crazy right now?

Well, talking to You may seem crazy to others, but it is one place, sometimes the only place, that seems sane. The government shutdown, with lots of blame being shouted back and forth, seems crazy to me right now. It affects so many people!

Aren’t you glad My Kingdom, My Power, is not cut off?

Yes, Lord, I am. Thank you. It seems crazy to me the way women, a lot of women, are still being treated. It seems crazy to me that in our society we still have folks, right now, tonight, who are hungry and who are cold–right in this country, in this community. And I am talking about everybody from folks who should be in safe, caring institutions, who don’t have the mental or emotional resources to care for themselves; to people who are struggling with addictions; to those who simply need a break, who are eager and able to work, who can’t seem to make ends meet. God, we as a planet, we have so much need. And so much greed. That seems crazy to me. And You said, bring my burdens to You. So. There You go.

Do you remember the story you heard years ago? About how a person had a vision of heaven and hell? About how in hell all these people had long-handled spoons permanently affixed to their hands, and while surrounded by plenty of food, they were all starving, because the spoons were too long to reach their mouths? And then the person had a glimpse of heaven, and all the people there had the long-handled spoons, and how upsetting that was, because the people looked the same?

I remember. 

And what was different?

In the view of heaven, all the people were satisfied, because they fed one another. Their spoons could easily reach the mouths of their neighbors.

Yes. Now this is more a view of earth, than of the afterlife. It is a teaching vision, a teaching story.

So what is my part? Feed my neighbor, right?

You cannot do everything. But you can do something. The invitation you received today, to do a specific action to help ESL children in your community, the one you said yes to–that was well said. Everything in your heart leapt up to say yes to that opportunity. And then, you began to wonder how you would find the time, what others even in your own family might say in response, and you began to doubt the wisdom of your yes. But I Am here to say, thank you. You will receive so much joy from this yes, and you will give so much joy and so much hope.

Lord, it was wild! All those years ago, I had this thought, this “I wish I could” thought, and it was doing the exact same thing, only with Native American kids, out west!

And so it begins. Be at peace, little one. Every discerned yes only adds to the foundation of this life you so long to continue to build, in Me. Keep looking to Me for guidance, keep asking Me for direction, and I will guide you and bless you in paths that are perfect for you–perfectly fit to your longings and to your gifts. And remember, you cannot out-give God.

So I am not going crazy?

I would say you are going saner and saner–which may mean, you will look crazier and crazier to others, not all others, but to those who are farthest in outlook from Me.

Ok, Lord. And again, thank You.  

 

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Conversation

Well, Lord, I did a lot today. Spent a good amount of time at the page this morning, and I really appreciate being able to do that. You helped me clarify a number of things I needed to work out, details about the upcoming season mostly. So this was one of those days I needed some specific direction, and You provided it. Thank You. But that means I didn’t spend the time to talk to You for the world, so to speak. I needed to talk to You for me.

 

This life you are living, peeling back the layers and allowing folks a glimpse into your private world of prayer is making you feel vulnerable, and a bit pressured. You want so much to give value, give something worthy, something helpful.

God, it’s true! I do. I really do.

So here is your message for today, and it is very important. Critical, in fact. You need to talk to Me. That is the message. That is the message for you. And that is the message for your world. Ultimately, that is what this entire effort is about, convincing folks that they can have the same experience of intimacy with Me that you have. In that sense, you are not a prophet but you are an example. I say, not a prophet, because just as you cannot carry the world’s burdens, as we talked about yesterday, I also don’t want you to take on the mindset of having to hear a message tailored for the world, as if I were not going to speak to individuals, individually. So I really do want you to keep doing what we are doing. Keep having these conversations—some deep, in which you explore questions and issues of purpose and puzzlement, and some so seemingly routine, in which you ask, as you did this morning, for daily help, like figuring out a workable schedule with time factored in for everything that is important to you, including times to rest and relax and be creative. This is important for you and your life, so it is important to Me. And it is just the kind of direction so many need and yet they don’t ask Me for My help.

If you can continue to be faithful to share these daily conversations, one of the results will be that others will become bolder to ask Me anything, and tell Me everything. And I tell you, that choice causes more rejoicing in My Father-God heart than you can imagine.

So keep talking, keep listening, and keep being willing to share. And don’t worry about trying to be profound. As I told you before, just keep being real. You are doing more good than you know.

 

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New Moon, New Year Wishes

It’s Winter. It’s New Moon. It’s Year End. Shouldn’t New Year wishes be in the realm of possibility? Otherwise isn’t it just wishful thinking?

First, “wishful thinking”—thinking full of positive wishes and longings—is how anything new gets done, how anything gets invented.

Oh! The shadow on the tree out back is an A-OK symbol! I haven’t seen that in months.

Second, wishes are precisely for things or circumstances that seem, either a little or a lot, impossible or improbable or so difficult as to be unachievable. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be wishes—they would be plans, or they would be goals.

The A –OK Symbol has what looks like an arrow up from the thumb, like flicking my forefinger, sending an arrow west. Lord, once upon a time I knew my fresh impact was west. Now? Flicking could also be sending it away, flicking something—a distraction—out of view, so I can concentrate.

That is what you have been doing, flicking your wishes out of the way. They keep resurfacing and you keep finding ways to say no, to ignore them, to deny their very existence.

Isn’t that what a Christian life is about? Denying yourself?

Not if what you are denying is what I’m trying to give you in the first place. Not if “denying yourself” means denying the Self I Am trying to bring forth in you and through your life.

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Mapping the Journey

Lord, can You help color in the picture of my life, Eve’s life, being of maximum effect for You? For Your kingdom? I keep coming back in my thought to all You’ve said. I feel a little like a kid playing with the box and not seeing what the amazing thing inside can do!

At least you are playing, you’re engaged—that’s a start. Once play is more comfortable, more of an automatic response, more possibilities will occur to you.

Oh. Oh, okay.

You’ve had such narrow thoughts about ministry. Those thoughts have been very much like playing with the box. They’ve boxed you in and now You are hearing Me calling you to “live outside the box.” What I really mean by that is, take the essence of what once was for you within the box, and live it in the world. Remember your old lyric: “I want to tell all the people I know that they can touch You, Lord.” That’s what I want, too, for you, for your life.

Lord, sometimes I think I’m missing the point and sometimes I think, is this it, this life I live, this is the point. Then I feel this weird combination of feelings, a cross or a mix between relief (it’s ok, I’m doing ok, I’m not disappointing You) and disappointment with myself because this life seems of such little effect compared to

Whoa. Stop right there. “Compared to.” That phrase causes so much trouble for you humans. I don’t want you to compare to or compare with. No one else’s life or experience is to be your mirror. I Am holding your believing mirror. Let Me fill in the map, not of where you have already been, but where you are going. I do want you to have a sense of what, and when. I want you to have Joy in the Journey, and part of that is anticipation. Vision Quests are meant to give vision! I’m not asking you to live in fog. I Am asking you to look to Me and My words to you for your path, your clear path. So let’s define for your life what “maximum effect” is. You’ve been trying to match that to pieces of others’ lives, like a puzzle. I’m going to give you a brand new picture, a brand new map, for your life. Keywords are Joy, and Connection, and Loving-Kindness—all of which bring Peace, as a result.

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Advent

Lord, it’s a busy time, before Christmas. What would You say here, now, to my heart?

Look for My Coming. The Shepherds had to look—they had to go and see. The Wise Men had to look, to seek, in order to find. And what they found was totally unexpected.

So…?

So I want you to look for Me—and for your life’s purpose, your right-now-today, in-this-chapter, in-the-moment purpose. I want you to find the settledness and assurance and confidence that comes from the “I know”, as in, “I know God is leading me.” I sent angels to the shepherds, a guiding star to the wise men. They didn’t stumble around in the night. I don’t want you to stumble around in the night of wondering, wondering if you are on track, on the right path. I want you to walk confidently in knowing, in the wonder of assurance. So look for Signs of My coming—to you. Through you and your life. That is the Advent I want you to seek. Then I want you to receive gifts, the gifts of My Presence with you, the same gifts given to Me:

Gold—Business and financial prosperity. And yes, stellar recognition for your own work.

Frankincense—The sweet anointing of My Presence and Spirit on all you do.

Myrrh—My comfort for any sorrow.

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Rain Within

Lord, I want kindness to prevail over cruelty and mercy to overtake”justice” if justice is just shorthand for revenge, for punishment. Please, please, what would You say?

Little One, you are seeing the world—My world—as it is, while simultaneously holding the vision I have of the world—My world—as it could be. As it should be. As it will be. Heaven is the church you seek, where all truly Love One Another. You are doing your part to build My Kingdom where it really counts, which is out in the middle of My messy world.

You want to find a gathering space of folks whose tenets are inclusive, welcoming, peace-centered, and when it comes to Me and My Presence, relational and experiential. You want My Presence manifest like you want air, like you want water. You are dry and thirsty without it. You are like a land in drought, spending your precious tears crying for rain when Rain is within you. You have My Spirit within you. Be church. Continue to minister. Continue to stand in love. Make your gratitude lists—and share them.

 

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Direction

Oh God, I want to hear from You every day, and I want that for direction.

 

You think it’s wrong to want Direction? Wrong to ask for My guidance and leading? Wrong to want to stay on course, choose wisely? Make wise decisions? You feel bad about wanting that?

I guess I was taught that, that I am, that we are on our own. That we “graduate” beyond having You lead us, having You confirm for us.

Let Me get this straight. So the reward of a faith-commitment is, after a brief honeymoon period, to live separated, estranged, while proving your love and faithfulness by not wavering in your commitment. What kind of marriage is that? What kind of husband would I be, demanding that? I will tell you what kind—an abusive husband. A neurotic husband. No, I Am a faithful Husband, a faithful Father, a faithful Brother, a faithful Friend. The longing you have I put there. I want this more than you do. Mark this down:

More than you want to be right on time, I want this for you.

More than you want wildlife encounters, I want them for you.

More than you want magnificent light, I want that light for you.

More than you want stories to share, I want to share My stories with and through you.

More than you want increased creative flow in your life, I want increased creative flow in your life.

More than you want your legs healed and strong, I want your legs healed and strong.

More than you want to explore My beautiful world, I want to show you My beautiful world.

There is nothing you want that I don’t want more for you, want more to give to you.

All you need to do is prepare to receive. Not earn, not labor, not work harder, not prove yourself worthy. Receive.

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Clarity

Lord, I feel like we have both become discouraged, and discouragement is obscuring. Like, like the dangerous aspect of fog.

You need clarity. There is a reason you de-fog your lens. Too much fog and you can’t focus on anything. Then fog becomes like Silence. You don’t want to be deaf or blind. You want to be clear—clear eyes, clear heart, like clear water. You want to reflect Me and My heart through your life.

Oh, God, the Seat of Seeing I want to sit in is Yours. And the One I want to walk the beach with and listen to is You. And if I take myself on a guided meditation and walk a path through the forest and over the footbridge and into the clearing, the One I want to find there is You. Yes, I’d love talking animals and birds to accompany me, of course! Like Narnia! But as Lucy said, it’s You, Alsan. It’s You.

I Am always with you. I will never leave you. Even when you don’t know what to do, what to say, where to go, where to be, I AM. And I AM by your side, and I Am within you. I fill all things—for you that means I fill all circumstances, all situations, with My Holy Presence. Let Me fill your mind, your thoughts. Let Me fill your body with health and strength. Let Me fill your days and your nights. Let Me fill all things in your life with Myself. Let Me be the air you breathe that sustains you moment by moment. Let My Spirit flow through your body like oxygen-rich blood, energizing and inspiring every part of you. You sing praise. You sing hallelujah—not because I need to hear it, but because it is healing for your soul to remember the Song. Fill yourself with Who I Am. Glow—Sing—Blaze. Stand—Walk—Run—Fly—Soar. Lift yourself up as you lift My Name up in praise and thanksgiving. That is the key for you—sing praise.