Thirsty

Lord, why is this such a struggle? Every day I struggle to remember who I am, in You; who You are, in me and in the world. I just want to get it! Like breathing.

You do get it like breathing. You breathe out and release what you know to be false, and you draw in what you know to be true. You see your struggle as a failing and I see it as a triumph. Over and over you release and you draw in. You commit, over and over. You renew your life with Me, over and over. Right now, you are dehydrated; you are thirsty. Your spirit craves My Spirit like your body craves water during exercise. Work is outflow—you do love it but it is outflow. You need some inflow. Sleep by itself is not enough. You need refreshment for your soul as well as rest for your body. It is okay to admit to Me how thirsty you are. Let Me quench your thirst first. Then you will have fresh water to share with others.

The Mirror of God’s Love

Lord, I am reading something You said just last week. You said when I show up, You show up. That wondrous things can happen when I show up—which I take to mean, when I am present. When I am willing. That in those times, You are present, and that is what makes the difference.

First of all, I Am always present, though often unseen, unheard and unfelt. People all over the planet breathe in air, multiple times a minute, and most don’t give it any thought. You think about your breath when you are short of it, when the air is thick with smoke or foul, or your lungs are not clear, and it is hard to take a breath. You think about your breath in certain forms of fitness or meditation, when you concentrate on your breathing as a spiritual or physical practice. Mothers-to-be practice breathing as part of childbirth. But then the practice is over, the baby is born, the air clears or the lungs fill again and once more, the breath fades into the background of conscious thought. People pray or reach out to Me in times of great trouble, when they cannot get their breath physically or financially or in their health or their relationships; people sometimes pray out of gratitude for blessings received; but then the moments pass, the crisis resolves, the hourly service concludes, and I fade into the background as busy lives move front and center.

So how can I live, how can we all live, more conscious of Your presence? What kind of relationship are You asking us to have, or inviting us into?

Think how many times every day you think of Pete, how often he crosses your mind. You factor his opinion into almost all of your decisions. You certainly talk with him about major changes to your day or to your life. You can’t wait to share good news with him, and when you are worried or anxious, you look to him for reassurance. Sometimes you forget how much he loves you, and you imagine that something you have said or done displeases him—and you react in that same way with Me, don’t you?

But I need you to realize that nothing you do or think or say creates a rift between us that My Love cannot bridge. Couples grow apart when they begin hiding their true selves from one another, when what they keep hidden inside is much more than what they reveal. You don’t have to fear revealing yourself to Me. Lean into Me as a plant grows toward the sunshine. Let My Spirit oil any worn, weary or rusty parts of your soul, your character. When you are most tempted to draw back, from fear or weariness or impatience or frustration or downright anger, come closer. Let My Love be the Mirror you look deeply into. Remember Who I Am and Who I Am in you. That is how ordinary days and ordinary circumstances and ordinary people become extraordinary. Remember Who I Am and Whose you are. Remember our connection. Don’t hide your fears or your flaws or what you think of as your failings. I see all, regardless. But if you can be willing to bring them all to Me, I can heal and restore and fix. There is nothing broken—not a body, not a spirit, not a heart, not a relationship, not a family, not a community, not a country—that My Love cannot heal. You can be one of those agents of healing—if you keep coming to Me to be made whole yourself.

Expansion

A little glimmer, a little shimmer, a little puff of wind. The day stretches and yawns into itself. I am quiet. Kaylee is scratching, restless. Lord, what would You say?

People think of expansion in many different ways. Your crop could yield more seeds, that is one way. The size of your fields could increase. You could have more outlets for your crop, so you waste less and store less. You could be more efficient in both planting and harvest.

Yes?

Another way to think about expansion is to diversify. You have fields AND an orchard. And you raise sheep for wool, say. In order to diversify, where the land produces a year-round, expanded offering, you need more help—help which I will provide. You are close to the limit of what you can provide in terms of cranking out product. The next big piece is the writing piece, and the workshop/speaking/teaching piece. Each will have a different audience and a bit of a different purpose, but it is all your land, all your territory. I do want you to dream again, and dream on paper. Dream on the page.

Lord, I write that down and I lean back. I lift my pen off the page. Why? What’s up with that, what’s up with me?

You think the very idea of having dreams and expressing them is selfish, self-centered, prideful. You forget about my planting seeds in you, seeds that sprout as your gifts and talents, as your inclinations and preferences, as your longings. All of these are My planting within you. So let’s examine those seeds, shall we?

 

 

 

 

Direction

Oh God, I want to hear from You every day, and I want that for direction.

 

You think it’s wrong to want Direction? Wrong to ask for My guidance and leading? Wrong to want to stay on course, choose wisely? Make wise decisions? You feel bad about wanting that?

I guess I was taught that, that I am, that we are on our own. That we “graduate” beyond having You lead us, having You confirm for us.

Let Me get this straight. So the reward of a faith-commitment is, after a brief honeymoon period, to live separated, estranged, while proving your love and faithfulness by not wavering in your commitment. What kind of marriage is that? What kind of husband would I be, demanding that? I will tell you what kind—an abusive husband. A neurotic husband. No, I Am a faithful Husband, a faithful Father, a faithful Brother, a faithful Friend. The longing you have I put there. I want this more than you do. Mark this down:

More than you want to be right on time, I want this for you.

More than you want wildlife encounters, I want them for you.

More than you want magnificent light, I want that light for you.

More than you want stories to share, I want to share My stories with and through you.

More than you want increased creative flow in your life, I want increased creative flow in your life.

More than you want your legs healed and strong, I want your legs healed and strong.

More than you want to explore My beautiful world, I want to show you My beautiful world.

There is nothing you want that I don’t want more for you, want more to give to you.

All you need to do is prepare to receive. Not earn, not labor, not work harder, not prove yourself worthy. Receive.

Ripple Effects

God, I still get so impatient. I’m so sorry. Can you help me be better?

Not if by better you mean that you devalue everything you’re doing or thinking. This is an awkward, in-between stage for you, where you are transitioning from discounting everything “you” – your likes, your wants, your dreams, your plans, your work. It seems as if you are over-emphasizing those because for years you gave them zero place, no importance, so any attention now feels selfish, self-centered. I Am asking you to be self-centered for a while. Pull your focus back, away from everyone else, and let yourself relish what you think, what you want, what you love. Dream Big Dreams and Make Big Plans. I Am a Big God. In the words of TreeBeard, let’s do some Big Things together. And for that, you have to focus on you, on your life. Center there and we shall ripple outward with great and wonderful impacts on the world.

 

Sourced in God

Gosh, God, the schedule…the stress…I need You to help me so I don’t tumble into either burnout or fallout, meaning broken health. What is your solution for me?

You are not responsible for your family’s—your grandchildren’s—your son’s—happiness. All you can be to anyone is a loving inspiration. Be that. Model what a full life centered in Me looks like. Right now you are modeling a full life centered on your own effort and strength—and it’s not working. It’s not working because you—humans—were never meant to go it alone, by yourselves, or even with one another without Me.

You were meant to be Sourced in Me, My input, My watering, My Presence, My leading, My anointing. Sourced in Me each day, with set-apart times for filling up the well on a regular basis. Make Time to be Renewed in Love. Let Chronos become Kairos again. Right place, right time. Right person—you. Take a next step in this journey we are on together. Renew your pledge to live in synchronicity. Let My Spirit guide you.

 

 

The Clockmaker

Lord, You know what Oct. 18th means to me, that day long ago that I heard from You in that church service when those visiting pastors came. I can’t believe I spent that day of all days in the ER!

Every day is that day for you, now. Unlimited access, 24/7, 365. Then, you needed validation, assurance, healing. Now, you need confidence, boldness, healing. Then, you believed hearing directly from Me was reserved for the few, and you felt fortunate to receive a few paragraphs, spoken from the mouth of a prophet, with your name attached. Now, you know My Heart is to have a deep, abiding relationship with everyone, everyone on the planet. That is My Purpose. And, as the Cross demonstrates, I will go to any length to have it, even play to human wants for justice that are misguided.

Misguided?

Much of what passes for justice is really revenge. What I want is so much bigger, so much deeper. I want forgiveness because I want transformation. I want everyone and everything in right relationship, in harmony and in balance. I created the Universe as that place.

But we sinned, we didn’t listen to You—and we got kicked out of that place.

 Think of the story this way. Humans managed long, long ago to upset the Balance, to introduce enmity between themselves and the natural world and between one another.

Wait a minute! Wasn’t the Serpent the Enemy?

Not until they listened. Not until being out of balance seemed more attractive than in balance, and war seemed more attractive than peace, and hate seemed more attractive than love. Imagine a different ending. Imagine Eve saying to the serpent, I think you are mistaken. Let’s go talk to God about this. Imagine a role where humans were—as I intended—stewards and teachers, learning from Me and teaching others.

But the kicked out part?

Eden is just another word for life lived in balance. They destroyed the balance. That is what led to the separation and the sense of shame, guilt, and fear I never intended for My Creation.

But…but if You really are the Creator, I mean, if You began everything

Think of Me like a clockmaker, crafting and then winding a clock. The clock is designed to keep time and keep it accurately. But dust or dirt can clog the works, causing the clock to malfunction. A good clockmaker will clean and oil his clock as well as keep it wound. The possibility of it winding down always exists—but so does the reality of all running smoothly as long as the clockmaker stays involved. But what if the clock could somehow run itself, wind itself? I gave the clock—humanity—the power of creative choice. I give that same power to every baby born.

Because each child is born now into an out of balance world, each child has to choose at some point, and then choose over and over, who to believe and who to be. You are choosing to believe in Love and Peace and Joy as a Way, a Way of Being in the world, a way of living moment to moment and day to day. It is, in Native American terms, the Good Red Road. It is, in both eastern and western terms, the Way.

Every human who chooses this way helps tip the earth ever so slightly back toward the balance I created in the first place.

Here I Am — I’m Yours

So, Lord, I definitely, desperately, need You to lead me, photographically with Your spiritual foundation. My gift is the being led part—I mean, the following-Your-lead part.

Let your heart expand into what it loves—into what you love. Find extraordinary connections in amazing light—but seek out the new. Don’t try to “repeat success.”

The “nations that stream to the brightness of your rising” are the wild kingdoms. You attract them. You welcome them and you love them. Pay no mind, give no mental space or attention to what anyone else is doing. You go and you do the work I Am giving you to do.

Here I am—I’m yours. So here I am: here is my heart. Here is my mind, my brain. Here is my mouth. Here are my eyes, my feet, my hands. Here are my words. Here are my songs, the notes that make music. Here is lyric and poetry; here is melody and harmony. Here are words, essays, stories, prose. Here are images. Here, the works of my hands. Here is my lifelong connection, and longing to connect, with animals. It’s all You.

 These are like the days of Noah to Me—there isn’t any animal that won’t—or can’t—teach you, that won’t come to you. My entire creation is yours, is available to you. Remember the legend of Arthur. Your kingdom is Peace. Call your nations, the wild ones. They will all come to you. From elephants to ants, they are yours. They will companion you always. They will teach you of Me.

 

 

Choosing Love Over Violence

I am sitting outside, in the swing, wanting the feel and sounds of the outdoors. We now have a new “the worst mass shooting” in our national history. Here is what I know: it’s not You. It’s no part You. I don’t know how to pray, what to say to make sense out of madness.

Imagine a father with a family feud–that is easy for you to imagine; you live there. And you see how it affects him, day to day. You see how his heart aches and how he tries to just go on despite it, throwing himself into his work, having given up on trying to broker any peace. The difference is, I can’t–won’t–ever give up. So as long as there is one war, one fight, one enemy, I, God, carry within Myself both unutterable grief and boundless joy and hope–joy over, as your Bible puts it–“one sinner who repents”–which really means, one person coming home to his or her best self, one person laying down hate and choosing to love, or at least, to learn to love. This is the duality people sometimes sense within Me, and try to explain through words like Light and Dark or Yin and Yang. The unity in the duality is Love. Because I Am Love, I hold both grief and joy at the same time, and because I Am Love, I Am always ready to show mercy.

Lord, it feels hopeless. Like “they” are never going to agree. It is such a beautiful day, here. And such a horrible, terrible day, there.

I have promised never to destroy your world. That doesn’t mean humanity won’t. You have to decide what side you are on–the side of mercy and hope and love and peace, or the side of vengeance and hatred and fear and violence.

Lord, You know my choice is for love and peace.

Is it? Where are you focused right now?

So how can I make a difference, make a stand?

By looking for concrete ways to show My Love, to speak My Love, to every hurting and searching heart you encounter. By affirming all you know about My Father-God heart. By calling people everywhere to lay down the weapons in their minds, the judgment, the retaliation, the name-calling, the bigotry, the envy, the violence in their thoughts and words. Every violent act begins with violent thoughts and words. Change the conversation. Change the vocabulary. Start in your own mind, your own thought, and spread the ripples outward from there. Sound the trumpet-call to Love.

Follow Me

Lord, this morning I had a choice. I could rush off to church or I could sit here with You. Last week I felt the need to be in community, but this morning I felt I needed this most, being unrushed here, with You.

Ours is not a cookie-cutter relationship, a one-size fits all, follow this recipe, relationship. The Old Testament said, essentially, follow these precepts. But in the New Testament, what do I say? Follow Me. Come with Me.

The church has in large part taken New Testament principles and made new precepts to follow, and overlaid those on top of the Old Testament laws—not the ceremonial laws, those the church has replaced with ones of its own. To the extent a community of believers or any church institution is focused on precepts, that is the limit of the depth of relationship with Me they encourage.

To Follow Me is to engage in a dynamic relationship even more complex than any earthly one, for I Am both Parent and Brother, I Am Lover and Friend, I Am Defender and Protector. You know nothing quite like it on earth. Your best earthly relationships mirror one facet of what it means to be in relationship with Me, and that is what I am calling you, calling all of you, to.

How do you bond on earth? You spend time. You pay attention. Other than the parent-child relationship, which begins with the parent as giver and child as receiver, but then grows over time into mutual ways of giving and receiving, the best earthly relationships are reciprocal.