Category: Commitment

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The Heart of Lent

Lord, the other day someone I love told me, I am giving up guilt for Lent. I thought that was brilliant! I’ve had pastors in past years speak about releasing, letting go of habits or patterns of life that are not in line with Your love or our best values. And I have heard others talk about sacrifice and giving up something we love to undergo a fast in order to somehow make ourselves more attuned to You. And I have heard still others say, no, Lent is not for doing without, Lent is for adding to — adding in habits or patterns that actually help a person draw closer to You or be more loving in their earthly relationships. Lent is really an invention of humans, meant to prepare us for Easter. What would You say about Lent, about all these different ideas about how to mark it?

The different ideas really reflect different human personalities.

Well, how should we mark it then?

The important thing is not how you mark Lent, nor even how you celebrate Easter. The important thing is, in light of Christmas, in light of Easter, how do you live? How do you live the other 360-some days? How do you live the 360 degrees of your life’s round circuit of the year, when you are not celebrating these signature “holy days” like Christmas, Easter, Pentecost, and your national holidays of Thanksgiving and New Year’s? What about all the other days? Too many ramp up what they think of as holiness during Lent, or during Advent, only to return to what they think of as secular lives during the other weeks of the year. What I would prefer is that you think of all your days as secular AND sacred. Both/And. No day is so secular that I Am not present. No day is more sacred than another. Every day, every hour, is present to Me and you are present to Me and I to you, at every moment. It is that presence that makes every second sacred. And I call you to live a sacred, consecrated life, in the middle of a very human existence, in community, with family, with friends, at work, at play, in business. What I mean by a consecrated life is a life in which you fully show up to be present while simultaneously aware of your connection to My Presence. One foot on the soil and one hand in heaven, so to speak. And your heart connected to both. So to answer your question about Lent, what I would say is, do you feel you are the most connected to Me you can possibly be, or is there room for a closer, deeper relationship? If you answer the question, there is no way I can be closer than I am living now, one of two things is true: you are very close to your Homegoing, or there is more for you to understand and grow into. And if you answer, I know I can be closer, but I don’t know how, then Lent has served its purpose. For I Am here to draw you and reach to you and teach you how to live a human life with a heavenly heart, with a heart connected to heaven and earth.

You saw the heart reflected tonight on the water, and you wondered, how can this phenomenon be happening? And I told you then, this is a reflection of your heart. And inside, you doubted. You doubted not Me but yourself. You doubted you were hearing My voice.

And then what happened? Your friend sent you a timely message written by Richard Rohr about divine radiance, about our human hearts being attuned to that radiant Presence, and how you need to keep your lens clean and your heart pure in order to see God. And where were you as she was preparing to send you that message? Out in the world, walking at sunset, camera in hand, very attuned to nature, beaming your own love of the land and the birds out from your heart. And what did you receive in return? A radiant heart shining and shimmering on the water. This is your calling, in Lent, in Advent, in all the other “ordinary times” — see with the eyes of your heart. See as God sees. And remember that the lens God chooses to see through magnifies good, and diminishes evil by applying mercy and grace and forgiveness and a seventy-times-seven second chance. So by all means, keep walking. Keep seeing. Keep sharing. And keep loving.

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Precision

I dreamed I was looking at an album of my photos and they were dull, greyed. No pop. Not bold. Hazy. Lots of photos, and all the photos were that way. Dim, faded, like a protective film that renders out of focus was over each one. Lord, I want to walk with You a little. I know every time I reach out my hand, stretch my thoughts in Your direction, You are there. Always, always, right there.

Have I not promised to be your light? I Am still the Light of the world and the Light still shines in–into–the darkness. bring Me your dark places, your dim places, your dullness. Don’t confuse beveled with dull. Beveled softens edges for beauty and for use. Some things are meant to beveled; others are meant to be sharp. A butter knife doesn’t need the edge a carving knife needs. You need a sharp edge to prune, to edit. Ice skaters need a sharp edge to inscribe their line. Precise–this is what sharpness should mean for you. Not wounding, precision.

You can be precise, definite, bold, passionate in your gentleness. You can be fiercely firm, unwavering, in your commitment to peace. Not wishy-washy. Not dull. Not a dim resolve. Like Annie Dillard’s title, Holy the Firm. Let firm be holy for you. Let Me show you how to take a stand, how to make a mark–your mark. You are inscribing touchstones now, a mark here, a mark there, hoping someone will find one. The larger work, your larger life, is like inscribing on tablets, putting yourself out there. That is the source of your block, that fear. So you dim it, dull it, hide it. Don’t dim your light. Don’t dim My light in you. You think this means prophecy. It does. Let that sink in. It does. You think that means railing at the world, pointing out its wrongs, focusing on evil, routing out sin. You can stand against–many do. I Am asking you to stand FOR. Be passionate about what you intend. Focus always on that. Remember My old word, be ruthless for righteousness? You do that by intention, by intending good and blessing–not by fighting against evil, and putting your focus there. Put your focus on what you intend, for yourself, for others, for the planet. Visualize peace. That is your vision quest. Let Me show you a new path and a new way and a new day.

 

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Stained Glass

Every night, before dinner, taking turns, one or the other of us thanks You for the day, and for our food, and for all the good things You give us. On days like today–our anniversary–those thanks mean a little more, refer to something extra-ordinary, something that makes the ordinary extra special. Thank You for bringing Pete and me together all those years ago. You took what was broken inside each of us, God, and You made something precious. Like stained glass, You saw that the pieces could come together and become something beautiful. I am, we are, so grateful.

I was not the only One Who had vision. The two of you did, too — vision that led you to hope again, to believe again, to care again, and to love again. That is exactly the sort of vision the world needs right now, vision to see beyond, and imagine as the two of you did, the possibility of something beautiful, something wonderful, once again — even if that something wasn’t the thing you originally planned. That is what hope is all about, the vision to see beyond.

Lord, when light refracts through stained glass, it makes a rainbow. It’s prismatic. 

Yes, that is what Love does, it colors your world with possibility and wonder.

Thanks again, God, for making our world, our daily part in it, so full, so beautiful. Thank You. 

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The Long Run

Lord, an old friend asked me today, how long have I been doing this, meaning, photographing. And really, the answer dates back to high school. But there is a subset of answer, too. How long have I been photographing in line with my own voice, and that is a much shorter time. I remember in the beginning of my era with switching to digital, wondering how others managed to make the images they did. And in that day, I probably would have even said “capture the images” but I don’t say that any more. I try not to even say “take.” I would rather say “make” or “receive.” I was looking back at a journal from that timeframe, and I am astounded at what You said way back then, so I want to write it down again here. As a reminder–so that when I get discouraged, which I do on occasion, I will have this to come back to. So here is what You said–

You’re not on a day hike. You are not capturing the surface, the obvious, taking glimpses and glances. This is like a marathon journey, like hiking the A.T., like moving into a landscape to discover its nuances, its depth, its rhythms and seasons. Go with what draws you. It is okay to notice where others pause, stop, camp. Some of the same spots may draw you, too. But there will be many other spots where you are drawn to linger and they rush on, unseeing. Find your own touchstones. Photograph, draw, paint and write what speaks to you at the time. You have no idea how much joy some of those pictures, that you saw first in your heart, will bring others. That is why you were there. That was the touchstone.

So here it is, more than 10 years later. 

And here you are. What have you learned?

Well, one thing I am learning, is how consistent Your Voice is. I look back, I look within, You seem to be saying the same things. Another thing is, how I seem to need that reassurance, which I guess is why You keep saying the same things! 

This is part of what it means to run a marathon. You need stamina. You need water. You need to know that I Am in this with you for the long haul. Why do runners run?

Well, I know one thing. Not many run to win. Seriously. I know some marathoners, incredible people. They run to run. They run to finish. They run because they can.

So why do you photograph?

Because I love it. I love the way I feel, outside. I love everything about it. I sense You there. And I love to share the stories, later. I do. 

Your stories, as you call them, have such an impact because they are slices of real life, your life. So I would reassure you, you have many miles to go before you sleep. So sleep well, little one. You are doing well.

 

 

 

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Patterns of Choice

Lord, here is my concern about what we have been talking about lately. Aren’t some folks going to just view it as permission to live however they want, without regard to consequences, since their actions don’t matter in the long run?

I never said their actions don’t matter. I said My Mercy triumphs over all, and all includes all evil. But let Me ask you a question. You have past actions you regret, even now. So are you tempted to repeat them, knowing you will not suffer an eternal punishment? And if not, why not?

Gosh, God, what a question! First of all, from a self-centered point of view, those years I regret, they were miserable and I was miserable. So, no, I would never want to go back there. That was awful. And second, considering the love-based relationship I have with You now, I would not want to do anything deliberate to put any sort of distance between us, and I know myself well enough to know, if I did do something wrong, I would withdraw. And I don’t want anything to interrupt our connection.

Do you recall the story about what happened after Adam and Eve ate the apple, in the story in Genesis?

Sure! They got kicked out of the Garden!

No, before that.

You came looking for them. They were hiding.

So think about that for a minute. Even in that story, Who reached out? Who came calling? I did. And who was hiding in shame? They were. For millennia, people have assumed the Garden was off limits out of My punishment for their sin of disobedience. That is the phrasing that is used. But actually, I led them out of the Garden out of My Mercy. Eating of the “Tree of Life” in that condition of shame would have meant their shame would have become perpetual. Even then, in the earliest of stories, if you read between the lines, a deeper meaning is present. I came calling. I prevented their shame from being perpetual. I made a different way.

What about the curse, then? You will labor to wrest your food out of the ground, and childbirth will be painful as punishment for the woman, all of that? The story says You cursed the ground.

How could I curse the earth, the beautiful earth of My imagining? It is closer to the truth if you read the words to say this–the earth will be cursed because of your actions. Not, I Am cursing the earth as punishment for your actions. I was simply stating a fact, calling out in advance future events I could see would happen. And is it not so? Disease, degradation, pollution, waste, greed–all of these are like curses for the earth, and not one is of My Making or My Choosing.

Oh. OH. Human action would wind up resulting in, to use the phrase, a curse for the earth.

Exactly. And human action can also wind up in great blessing. The choice has always been with each new generation and with each individual. In the story, the very next generation saw fratricide, brother against brother. And is it not so even to this day? You don’t have to believe in a literal first man, first woman, first jealousy, first murder, to see the pattern repeated over and over. And right alongside these patterns, you have patterns of faithfulness, of kindness, of choosing right over wrong. It is always a matter of choice, which is what we started this conversation talking about, personal choice.

Right.

So I ask you again, given what you know now, what do you choose?

I choose You. I choose, best I can, to love You. To love others.

And why is that?

Because Love Is. Because You love me, love us, love all of us. Because I have decided I would rather be a part of the pattern of love than the pattern of hate, and the pattern of peace than the pattern of war, and the pattern of joy than the pattern of unhappiness, particularly causing hate, or war, or unhappiness to others. Or to You. Or to Your heart.

And so, in a tiny way, you help extend My Kingdom on earth. Every act of love, of lovingkindness does. Remember that when you are tempted to be impatient, to give in to impulses other than love. Remember, your strongest motivation, and the best motivation, is always Love. Never Fear.

Yes, Lord. And Lord…thank You. Thank You for being You.

 

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Honesty

While Pete was in the shower, I laid in bed and said thank You for everything and everyone I could think of, a fabulous way to start a day, and start off a new year. 

You have not because you ask not. So much of your difficulty in receiving comes from your reluctance to ask. You fear being disappointed, and you still believe at your core that you can ask only for others, not for yourself.  You much more easily accept the idea of My favor on your friends, family, even strangers, than you accept that I want to richly bless you.

Even here, you seek to be profound and all I Am asking you to be is honest. Honest–and willing, willing to share our relationship in order to inspire others to seek Me out in ways that are deeper and more personal to them than they had imagined before.

This is why I keep insisting on you telling Me your dreams, your longings, and your wished-for hopes. I keep asking for lists of your loves so I can reveal Myself within the seemingly small details of your life, what you call your ordinary every-day life. You’ve said it yourself, if you can have this deep connection to Me, so can others. So can anyone, everyone. Your task is to go on living your everyday life from a position of Connectedness, to model in all circumstances what a daily relationship with Me looks like and feels like.

You already know this doesn’t mean you don’t experience loss and grief. You already deal with disappointment–but dealing with disappointment by bringing all your emotions to Me is far different than burying them inside, pretending you don’t hurt when you do, and allowing your hurts to fester and become infected. That way leads only to resentment and eventually to bitterness, a very lonely road indeed.

Nor Am I asking you to pretend all is well when it isn’t.

I ask you to be honest because, first, you can’t fool Me or hide from Me and you will only wear yourself out trying. I also ask you to be honest because I want to transform you–your character, your attitudes, your reactions, and responses–to reflect Me more and more. So it is essential that you tell Me when and where you hurt, so I can apply the Balm of My Healing. Tell Me what you regret so I can give new chances and choices. Tell Me what you think you lack so I can more fully be your Provider, the One Who gives opportunities and opened doors. Tell Me what puzzles you so I can give you wisdom, understanding and discernment. And tell Me what makes you afraid, so I can light your way.

Finally, tell Me what makes you glad, so we can rejoice together along with all the angels.

Tell Me everything, all the time, all day long. Pray without ceasing. How? By keeping Me, My Presence, in your mind and heart at all times, and by listening for My least whisper on the wind.

On the Page, off the Page–all the time. Tell Me Everything.

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Watchword for 2018

So You know how I feel about New Year’s Eve, how I feel about rites of passage in general. I like them. I like assessing and planning. I like looking back, looking around, and looking forward. I like keywords and watchwords. God, do You have a word for our planet? For our country?

Love One Another. Everything falls apart without that.

Love is the oil that lubricates every relationship, that soothes every wound, that softens every scar. Love’s oil gives light, gives heat, gives fragrance, and transforms ordinary days into oases of great beauty and joy. It’s the one song the stars dance to, and the waves on the shore. You can never have too much love or give too much love. Love has the power to transform any situation, bring calm out of chaos, and give sight to the blind, especially those who are blind to others. Love is always in season, always in style, never grows old.

You say you want to change the world? Love one another. Begin and end with Love. End your year, start your year. Let love undergird every decision. Do all from love, with love, by love. It’s another way of saying, do all connected to Me. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it is connected to the Vine, neither can you, unless you are connected to Me.

You want fruit? You want impact? You want influence? You want a better world? Choose Me. Choose Love.

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Refraction

We went to see The Last Jedi yesterday. What is that verse, Lord—Light shines in the darkness and the darkness shall not overcome it?

The least light transforms darkness, alters its very essence. You can dim or intensify light, but as long as there is light, any light at all, by definition there is no darkness. Your mission isn’t to fight darkness or rebuke darkness or overpower darkness or overcome darkness. Your mission is to shine light—that simple, that profound. Your mission is to light up your part of My world. All you have to do, to transform any darkness, is shine.

How do you do that? You forgive. You give another chance. You say please and thank you. You look for, actively seek, the good and true. You love. You believe. You hope.

If you feel your light is dimming, if discouragement or fear or worry are diminishing your ability to shine brightly, then shine dimly and bring your dim resolve to Me, and let Me reignite your fire once again. You don’t have to be loud or showy in order to shine brightly. You just have to be present and committed.

 Committed?

Committed to love, and to faith and to hope. Don’t lose hope. More lights flicker out of despair than out of anger.

You said I was, I could be, a hope-healer.

Yes, that is one of your names. Like Me, you have many names. You all do. So open the curtains, draw back the blinds. Let the light in and you will also let the light out.

Like breathing! Only breathing changes oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Each of you is like a prism. Receive My Light—let My Light refract through your life into the colors that will touch those around you. That is why some are called to be prophets or poets, some are called to be teachers or parents, some are called to be apostles or builders, some are given gifts of healing s doctors and nurses. Some–like you–are visionaries and heralds, always seeing the new possibilities, always believing for the best. Just as you have many names, each of you has many gifts, many ways to refract and shine My Light in and through your individual lives.

Rainbow light! It’s my favorite!

Of course it is. That is because one of your gifts is to see and encourage the individual gifts in those around you. It’s one way you shine, by beaming your light of understanding into the hearts of others, so they can see themselves through My eyes.

Thank You, Lord. Thank You so much.

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A Time To Speak

Lord, how can I know when to speak and when to keep silent, when these words are meant only for me, and when they are meant for others, too? There are times I have shared in the past and then thought, I should have just kept my mouth shut.

You mean, should you have just kept My Mouth shut?

Here is a hard truth you know intellectually and biblically, but you are going to have to learn to live with it emotionally: not everyone receives. Not everyone hears. Not everyone wants glad tidings. Some much prefer judgment. Some much prefer hiding in their own darkness. And some—like feral cats—will hiss and even bite before they let themselves be loved.

You have to decide this work is worth rejection, that you are not in this to become popular, but to be a beacon of light in stormy times.

Lord, why wouldn’t everyone want the light to shine in a storm?

Almost everyone—unless someone is mentally ill—wants the light to shine in specific ways and specific places. My Light shines everywhere, on everyone. And that is a hard concept for some, who live by rank-ordering and who cannot conceive of a love, or favor, that is not based on merits. It seems unfair somehow to them.

Lord, like the parable of the workers hired late in the day?

Exactly.

 

 

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Impact and Connection

Lord, are my days with wildlife numbered? Over?

Why would you say that? Or think that?

Because You said not to do natural history.

Whoa, wait, stop. I asked you to choose what kind of impact you want your work to have, and you chose the most spiritual impact. What makes you think wildlife isn’t a huge part of that?

It is? I mean, is it? Can it be?

Why not?

I don’t know, I thought I just needed these dreamy landscapes.

Serenity is important. Calm, quiet, peaceful is important. But not as ends in themselves, as a condition in which Connection happens.

Everyone else does wildlife primarily for natural history. For life-list bird sightings. For documenting behavior, nesting, feeding, breeding, whatever. You started there but you’ve moved beyond natural history. Natural history became a bridge, to the New Country.

You mean Eve’s Eden, the way I envision, the way I imagine? How can the images I make be different enough?

They already are. They already are because you say “please”—you say, “thank you”—you say, “I love you”, and you mean it. You’ve taught others this, but increasingly your work will have a sensitivity and connection others lack. You can’t help it; it is who you are and it is your destiny.

So…I am not wrong to long for impact?

Is a candle wrong for wanting to blaze, for wanting someone to come and light its wick? You were made to embrace the natural world, and bridge to Me.