Category: Choices

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A Time To Speak

Lord, how can I know when to speak and when to keep silent, when these words are meant only for me, and when they are meant for others, too? There are times I have shared in the past and then thought, I should have just kept my mouth shut.

You mean, should you have just kept My Mouth shut?

Here is a hard truth you know intellectually and biblically, but you are going to have to learn to live with it emotionally: not everyone receives. Not everyone hears. Not everyone wants glad tidings. Some much prefer judgment. Some much prefer hiding in their own darkness. And some—like feral cats—will hiss and even bite before they let themselves be loved.

You have to decide this work is worth rejection, that you are not in this to become popular, but to be a beacon of light in stormy times.

Lord, why wouldn’t everyone want the light to shine in a storm?

Almost everyone—unless someone is mentally ill—wants the light to shine in specific ways and specific places. My Light shines everywhere, on everyone. And that is a hard concept for some, who live by rank-ordering and who cannot conceive of a love, or favor, that is not based on merits. It seems unfair somehow to them.

Lord, like the parable of the workers hired late in the day?

Exactly.

 

 

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Impact and Connection

Lord, are my days with wildlife numbered? Over?

Why would you say that? Or think that?

Because You said not to do natural history.

Whoa, wait, stop. I asked you to choose what kind of impact you want your work to have, and you chose the most spiritual impact. What makes you think wildlife isn’t a huge part of that?

It is? I mean, is it? Can it be?

Why not?

I don’t know, I thought I just needed these dreamy landscapes.

Serenity is important. Calm, quiet, peaceful is important. But not as ends in themselves, as a condition in which Connection happens.

Everyone else does wildlife primarily for natural history. For life-list bird sightings. For documenting behavior, nesting, feeding, breeding, whatever. You started there but you’ve moved beyond natural history. Natural history became a bridge, to the New Country.

You mean Eve’s Eden, the way I envision, the way I imagine? How can the images I make be different enough?

They already are. They already are because you say “please”—you say, “thank you”—you say, “I love you”, and you mean it. You’ve taught others this, but increasingly your work will have a sensitivity and connection others lack. You can’t help it; it is who you are and it is your destiny.

So…I am not wrong to long for impact?

Is a candle wrong for wanting to blaze, for wanting someone to come and light its wick? You were made to embrace the natural world, and bridge to Me.

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Advent Preparations

I found an old entry, years old, which said something that relates directly to what is going on right now. You brought that back around, God. Thank You.

You see, nothing is ever wasted. No true opportunity from Me is ever really lost. Sometimes I show you glimpses early to help prepare you for the fullness meant for later. Sometimes you turn away, or turn back, out of a feeling of unreadiness. Sometimes I need to reveal your unreadiness, not to discourage you but to help you grow into your opportunities. Part of living “right place, right time, right person” is trusting Me when you see doors closing when you are—as now—in a state of pause, of waiting.

Advent is a state of pause. It seems the opposite, with all the rushing to be ready, all the preparations, all the extra tasks, but Advent was intended as a more quiet expectation, quiet only so you could feel the anticipation and experience even more joy at its fulfillment. Now on the day after Christmas, the most dominant feelings for adults are relief and exhaustion.

Advent was not meant for lethargy but for a more gentle, deliberate and mindful pace of preparation. Decorating and cooking and gift selection and giving, the gathering of loved ones—all of these were meant to have counterparts in your soul. People often take time to clean out closets, releasing what they no longer need to make room for new. You can see the correlation to your spirit’s housekeeping. It’s good to take some deliberate time to examine the corners of your attitudes and your core values and make sure what you wear everyday—your words and actions—are a true fit.

You decorate your houses and make festive preparations; how do you decorate your soul: With what do you embellish your spirit: With joy. With praise. With gratitude. With a new song. There are songs you hear only at this time of year. It is a time to reflect back and look ahead, too. Some of the embellishments you can add in Advent are your prayerful dreams and goals and visions for the year ahead.

As Advent concludes and Christmas comes, you both give and receive. Give yourself once again to Me; receive once again in your lived-experience expressions of My particular love for you. Children anticipate Santa will bring them good gifts, wished-for gifts. Are My Gifts less wonderful than the gifts they ask for?

What about gifts we don’t get, you ask. My dear child, just as no opportunity is wasted, no true gift is ever withheld. Human lives intersect and overlap and the is not yet the perfect world I created it to be. Remember, your eartly sorrow at losing someone you love is the underside of the tapestry—from the topside, from their perspective, all is glory, all is joy, all is magnificence. And the pattern revealed there is a beautiful weaving.

That is humanity’s true Advent, lived every day, every hour, of human lifetimes—the leading up to the greatest Gift of all.

You mean heaven.

Yes, full union with Myself and with all creation. For “it is not my will that anyone perish, but that all come to repentance.” And My Will shall be done, My Kingdom shall come. What a day that will be—for Me as well as for humanity. Cicero had it correct: the last day does not bring extinction, but change of place.

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Direction

Oh God, I want to hear from You every day, and I want that for direction.

 

You think it’s wrong to want Direction? Wrong to ask for My guidance and leading? Wrong to want to stay on course, choose wisely? Make wise decisions? You feel bad about wanting that?

I guess I was taught that, that I am, that we are on our own. That we “graduate” beyond having You lead us, having You confirm for us.

Let Me get this straight. So the reward of a faith-commitment is, after a brief honeymoon period, to live separated, estranged, while proving your love and faithfulness by not wavering in your commitment. What kind of marriage is that? What kind of husband would I be, demanding that? I will tell you what kind—an abusive husband. A neurotic husband. No, I Am a faithful Husband, a faithful Father, a faithful Brother, a faithful Friend. The longing you have I put there. I want this more than you do. Mark this down:

More than you want to be right on time, I want this for you.

More than you want wildlife encounters, I want them for you.

More than you want magnificent light, I want that light for you.

More than you want stories to share, I want to share My stories with and through you.

More than you want increased creative flow in your life, I want increased creative flow in your life.

More than you want your legs healed and strong, I want your legs healed and strong.

More than you want to explore My beautiful world, I want to show you My beautiful world.

There is nothing you want that I don’t want more for you, want more to give to you.

All you need to do is prepare to receive. Not earn, not labor, not work harder, not prove yourself worthy. Receive.

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Nourishment

Now, late in the day, I need a fresh word like fresh bread. I don’t even eat bread anymore, Lord. It’s not good for me, for my system. I’ve given up wheat.

But there are breads you can eat.

Yes, and I am grateful for those.

Part of wisdom is knowing what nourishes you, what are empty calories and what is actually detrimental to your system.

Yes, so…

So what nourishes you and what is detrimental to you is not necessarily the same as it is for someone else. You might have deficiencies others don’t have. You might have a lower tolerance than others do. You might need supplements, or to avoid certain foods altogether.

Think about this spiritually. There is music that draws you closer to Me, and music that doesn’t move you at all. There is a preaching style and there is subject matter that opens your heart, and there are other styles and subjects that close your heart. Isn’t that so?

You know it is.

The key is not to judge yourself or others but to recognize what nourishes and nurtures your soul’s connection to Me. Don’t worry about what others are eating–you choose what is most beneficial to you.

Lord, this page is. Quiet listening is. Music that affirms Your lovingkindness, that does it for me.

Don’t try to fit yourself into last year’s clothes, or last decade’s diet. You gauge the weather and choose your daily wardrobe accordingly. You don’t wear sandals in a snowstorm or your down vest in a heat wave. You carry a raincoat when a squall is in the forecast. If you pay attention, you can be clothed and fed in each day’s unfolding, in both the natural and the spiritual.

 

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Peace Plays the Umpire

Lord, what is the watchword for today?

The watchword for today is Peace–the kind of peace that plays umpire over your thoughts, calling fair or foul, in or out of bounds. My Peace outruns even your best thinking and your deepest understanding. When you come to the limit of all you know or understand, when nothing “makes sense,” that is when you need My Peace the most, and that is where you will find My Peace waiting.

Out of bounds thoughts and “foul moods” go hand-in-hand. I Am talking about thoughts like envy or resentment, thoughts that label others in any way less-than-you, or that label you as less-than-them, or–and this is very important for you now–thoughts that whisper you must do this alone. No, you have a team of helpers and Me as both Coach and Umpire.

But life has thrown a curveball, I hear you say.

Are you going to hurl your bat in frustration and take a chance on hurting someone else, or are you going to come to Me for some extra, private, one-on-one batting practice? You can hit this curveball. You can hit it out of the park. You can run the bases and you can drive others home, Home, on the strength of your swing. Don’t walk away from the batter’s box. Let Me show you how to handle life’s curveballs so that your peace, My Peace in you, stays intact and all your swinging for the fences bears much fruit.

It doesn’t seem fair, this particular pitch.

I know you are afraid of grounding out, of losing everything you cherish most. What happens with a game-winning run? The whole stadium cheers! All of Heaven rejoices. Let this turn into a victory lap.

How do I do that?

This is how. Your set-apart times with Me will give you everything you need. You’ve trusted Me for so much; trust Me in this.

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Grace

What is Your watchword for today?  

 

We haven’t talked much lately about Grace, but it is the perfect word for you right now. Grace is My answer when humanity—when you—hang your head and say, I don’t deserve…or, I’m not worthy…or, not enough, not good enough. Grace proclaims you worthy. Grace proclaims you as Mine, and that is all that matters.

You can be an heir in three ways—you can be born into, you can be adopted into, and you can marry into. All three are true in some ways with humanity and Me, the Creator-God. I made you, I chose you, I love you. A maker can put goods out as “seconds” or “as is” and that implies a rejection, as less-than. So I Am Maker, and I Am also Proclaimer and I Am also the One Who Loves You. You can make something and still not love it. But I love and choose that which I have made. And I choose for good and plentiful purposes.

Every time you choose joy, you are choosing My will for you. Every time you choose abundance for yourself and for others, you are choosing My will for you. Every time you choose health, wealth, opportunity, creativity, meaningful and joyous work, meaningful and joyous relationships, you are choosing My will for you.

The model of slavery in Egypt, tied to taskmasters and brutal mind-numbing labor is not My will for any of My children. I have designed each one of you with innate loves and gifts so everything runs smoothly. There are born teachers and born truck-drivers. There are born engineers and scientists, and born bakers and accountants.

There is always more to discover—even within you. For today, your watchword is Grace.

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Dancing Butterflies

Lord, I knew this new puppy would be exhausting. Thank You, by the way, for the extra hours of sleep last night. I am so grateful for some rest. What I did not anticipate and I don’t know how to handle is that the schedule is making it much harder to have my time in the morning with You. The past few days it has been impossible. Right now it is nearly 6 pm and I am snatching minutes before supper to sit, and think, and talk to You, and feel.

And what do you feel?

Honestly, it wasn’t a bad day. But You said to keep connected to You, and how am I supposed to do that, when I don’t have a regular, concentrated time to journal and to listen?

What did you do this afternoon?

Ran the errands I needed to run. Took Pete to the bank, we stopped at Yellowhouse, came home, put the puppy pen together outside.

Besides all that?

I took a few minutes and photographed the monarch butterflies on my lantana bush.

You noticed them. And you took some time to watch them and then to photograph them.

Yes.

Do you remember the verse that says, whatever you do for the least of these, you do for Me?

Yes, of course.

You treat yourself in your own thinking as less than the least of these. You contributed charitably, you helped your friend get his car, you finished up the long refi at the bank, you did business tasks at home before that and after that…and in the middle of all that, you gave your attention to honor these winged flights of beauty–and you felt guilty for those few minutes. Didn’t you? Isn’t that why you laid your camera down and moved on to another task? All those errands and chores you did to help anyone else, they count for something in your thinking, in your assessment of your day. But taking time to count butterflies? Not so much. Yet those few minutes were actually minutes of serenity and calm for you. And although you were not uttering prayers, you were actually praying the whole time. You were living moments in deliberate honor and gratitude and you were noticing the beauty of your world.

Lord, it was amazing! There were monarchs and painted ladies and I don’t know who all, on that one bush!

There is more than one way to set a bush ablaze. With Moses I chose fire. Today with you, I chose wings the color of flame. Drink beauty like water. That is one more way to stay connected to all that is, and to Me, as the Source and Creator of all that is. I Am glad you enjoyed the dance of the butterflies. You could not hear them, but angels were making the music they could hear and all to refresh you. Now, let me ask you one more question. How do you feel right now?

Relaxed. Refreshed. Grateful. And somehow leaning on You. And You are smiling.

Yes, yes I Am.

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The Clockmaker

Lord, You know what Oct. 18th means to me, that day long ago that I heard from You in that church service when those visiting pastors came. I can’t believe I spent that day of all days in the ER!

Every day is that day for you, now. Unlimited access, 24/7, 365. Then, you needed validation, assurance, healing. Now, you need confidence, boldness, healing. Then, you believed hearing directly from Me was reserved for the few, and you felt fortunate to receive a few paragraphs, spoken from the mouth of a prophet, with your name attached. Now, you know My Heart is to have a deep, abiding relationship with everyone, everyone on the planet. That is My Purpose. And, as the Cross demonstrates, I will go to any length to have it, even play to human wants for justice that are misguided.

Misguided?

Much of what passes for justice is really revenge. What I want is so much bigger, so much deeper. I want forgiveness because I want transformation. I want everyone and everything in right relationship, in harmony and in balance. I created the Universe as that place.

But we sinned, we didn’t listen to You—and we got kicked out of that place.

 Think of the story this way. Humans managed long, long ago to upset the Balance, to introduce enmity between themselves and the natural world and between one another.

Wait a minute! Wasn’t the Serpent the Enemy?

Not until they listened. Not until being out of balance seemed more attractive than in balance, and war seemed more attractive than peace, and hate seemed more attractive than love. Imagine a different ending. Imagine Eve saying to the serpent, I think you are mistaken. Let’s go talk to God about this. Imagine a role where humans were—as I intended—stewards and teachers, learning from Me and teaching others.

But the kicked out part?

Eden is just another word for life lived in balance. They destroyed the balance. That is what led to the separation and the sense of shame, guilt, and fear I never intended for My Creation.

But…but if You really are the Creator, I mean, if You began everything…

Think of Me like a clockmaker, crafting and then winding a clock. The clock is designed to keep time and keep it accurately. But dust or dirt can clog the works, causing the clock to malfunction. A good clockmaker will clean and oil his clock as well as keep it wound. The possibility of it winding down always exists—but so does the reality of all running smoothly as long as the clockmaker stays involved. But what if the clock could somehow run itself, wind itself? I gave the clock—humanity—the power of creative choice. I give that same power to every baby born.

Because each child is born now into an out of balance world, each child has to choose at some point, and then choose over and over, who to believe and who to be. You are choosing to believe in Love and Peace and Joy as a Way, a Way of Being in the world, a way of living moment to moment and day to day. It is, in Native American terms, the Good Red Road. It is, in both eastern and western terms, the Way.

Every human who chooses this way helps tip the earth ever so slightly back toward the balance I created in the first place.

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In the Moment

Being creative takes time. Shucks, even coming here to the page takes time. It gets harder, not easier. I feel I’m straining and rushing. My phone keeps dinging. Distractions. Sorry.

Eve, this is your life. You don’t have great swathes of time. But, please, listen. Neither does anyone else. No one in your field of impact does. That is exactly what makes you—and your work—so impactful, so special. You don’t have weeks and months to write in. You have moments. You don’t have days on end to photograph: you have moments. You don’t have weeks to retreat to put together an album: you have moments. You find Me in the Moments, in the In-Betweens. That is your life and that is your impact. That is your calling: to live a full-on connected life in the midst. Moments in the Midst, the photographer’s way, the writer’s way, the composer’s way. That’s it. That is the “it” you have found so elusive. You have thought you had to wait—to publish, to write polished essays and stories and lyrics, to create a photo book—until you could carve out great expanses of time. But your strength is in the moment. Spontaneity is your strength. Call, and having wildlife respond, is your strength.