Category: Anger

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Yes and No

Lord, I don’t even want to turn on the news. All night long, I have managed to avoid most of the television and all of the online coverage. So I feel guilty, avoiding what is, what happened, what keeps happening…and I feel as if I somehow, as if we all somehow should collectively, what? Mourn? Fast? Pray? Repent? Say we are sorry for something we didn’t do? But we are sorry, profoundly, mournfully sorry. And we are desperate. And we are angry. And we are sad. And we are, I am, so very confused.

Confused about what?

Confused about what to do. What to say. Where to look. What action to take–or avoid taking. Everything is so darned political and all we want, at least I hope all we want, is for our children to be safe. Safe at school, safe at home, safe with us, safe away from us. Seriously, what parent doesn’t want their children safe?

I Am a Parent and I want all My Children safe.

Yes, okay, well, they’re not. They’re not. All Your children are not safe. Not here. Not now. Not on this planet. Not in this chapter. And the “not-safe”–it rocks us and reels us and tilts us off center. It does.

It is supposed to.

What?!?

You are not supposed to find your center, your balance, as a part of unrest, or discord, or violence. You find your center despite those things, not because of those things. You find your center in Me Who is greater than violence.

God, here we go, I am sorry, but here we go. This world makes less and less sense, and trying to find Your Presence in less and less sense is, well, getting harder. Almost impossible. 

So you need to look for Me where you know I Am. Everywhere you find beauty, everywhere you find lovingkindness, everywhere you find peace, everywhere you find acts of generosity, there I Am. I Am in the midst of all that. When I say, I Am Everywhere Present, here is what you must understand. I Am not present to evil, and evil is not sustained in My Presence. I Am present as rescuer or healer or restorer of the breach, yes. But I Am not present in the act of pulling the trigger, in the mindset that seeks out violent solutions, that meets blow for blow for blow. I Am in the act of redemption and restoration and renewal.

So, God. Please. What is someone like me to do? What can I possibly do or say that will make one iota of difference in the way this world is spinning? Seriously. I am not trying to be sarcastic. I am crying out in distress, please, please help us. What are we supposed to do? And please don’t say anything about how we live in a culture of violence now. I know. I am asking what one person can do.

You can opt out of that culture of violence. You can commit, again and again, to saying No to violence in any form, and Yes to peace in every form. Not the lazy, empty, fearful peace at any price that actually condones evil by ignoring it. I Am talking about something far braver and far harder. I Am talking about standing and saying No, not running or hiding and saying No. I Am talking about standing and saying Yes, not whispering yes from some secret place like a secret code between initiates. I Am talking about standing and being who you are in Me.

Don’t I do that already?

Sometimes. But sometimes you are afraid to say what you think and feel out loud. Isn’t that true?

Well, yes, a lot of the time that is true. But what does that have to do with this?

If more ordinary folks said yes, and no, those voices would become louder than the militant shouting of the violent. Turn up your own volume, not by being belligerent. Not by trying to outshout the shouters. Not by being arrogant. Do not adopt any of violence’s ways or means. But you can still be true to all your values and gently and quietly yet firmly, do as the scripture says, and let your yes BE yes, and let your no BE no. Live your Yes. Live your No. Be willing to be identified as who you truly are and what you truly believe.

You have heard and read and recited a lot of different creeds over the years. Why don’t you sit down with Me and prayerfully co-create a creed that accurately says everything that is in your heart? Everything that is in your heart about Me, about humanity in Me, about this planet you call home. Why don’t we examine your thoughts and feelings and beliefs together? Let’s write together. Let’s write something you can rely on and relay to others.

Okay, Lord. This might take more than one sitting.

Indeed it will. Indeed it must. But the time spent will be worth it to you, I promise. It will help your mind and your heart more than you realize now.

 

 

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Just be you

Okay, God, I have a question. Say you feel you have been wronged, maybe not in a huge way, but still…what are we, what am I, supposed to do? Here is what I usually do–I get upset at first, and then I try to just let it go. I rarely confront, I rarely challenge the behavior, I rarely stand up, or at least, not for myself. I have  a friend who says, you teach people how to treat you. So I am always also thinking of how I want to be treated. So the Golden Rule rules, right? And that means walking away, right?

Let Me ask you a question in turn. If you offended a friend, wouldn’t you want that friend to tell you? Or if you made a genuine mistake, wouldn’t you want to know?

Well, yes. But I am not talking about a friend. The thing I am talking about now is literally a person I don’t know personally. I feel taken advantage of in one sense, and then in another, maybe what happened is okay. Maybe it will work out okay.

But you will never know that without bringing it up, without bringing the situation to light. And yet you think I would want you to keep silent. Keeping the peace and holding the peace doesn’t always mean silence. Sometimes it means having courage to speak, to say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes. Sometimes it takes asking a hard question and being willing to wait for the answer, and then having the courage and discernment to ascertain whether the answer is truthful, or a deliberate lie, or a misunderstanding, or a mixing of all of that.

I think I was schooled for silence.

Many have been. But silence is not necessarily a virtue. Remember, My Word says, there is a time to keep silence AND a time to speak. I think this is a time to speak, for you. HOW you speak is the issue. Do you speak respectfully? Do you judge in advance or do you go into the conversation willing to both speak and listen? The answers to these questions will tell you, first, what is in your heart, and second, where you need to ask for My help.

So, Lord, here is the situation–as if You didn’t already know! Someone used one of my photos in a publication. My name is there–tiny. And they might have gotten that photo from someone else I DID give images to, with permission to publish, but it is not at all clear to me that is what happened, or how it happened. And in any case, I did not give explicit permission to these folks to publish it. On the other hand–I always can see another side–the credit is good, and I wouldn’t mind the chance to legitimately work with these folks and supply photographs. But not without permission, and not without some arrangement in writing. Is that wrong to ask for? I feel torn. If I make a stink, then I might never have a chance to work with or for these folks. If I keep quiet like nothing happened…well that doesn’t seem right, or fair to me, either. And that certainly wouldn’t give me opportunities!

Of course it is not wrong! For one thing, this is your livelihood. For another, I have told you that now is your time to shine, not to hide. Keeping silent in this case would be hiding. Make the call. Be yourself–not your apologetic, this-must-somehow-be-my-fault self. Your authentic self. Try it now. Take a breath. What would you say?

I think I would ask to speak to someone in charge, say who I am, and say I have questions about how my photograph was used, where they received it from, just needing to understand the sequence of events. And depending on how I am answered, then I would like to open a door for them to see more of my portfolio. But not for free, for the same renumeration others receive.

So what is wrong, or confrontational about that? Remember the Third Way. Neither the aggressor, nor the victim. If you go in peace, with peace in your heart, you can open many doors. The issue for you isn’t whether to be a peacemaker; that is who you are. The issue is are you willing to speak up at all?

Yes, Lord, I think I am. I think I need to be. Thank You.

Remember, I Am with you in everything, great and small, hard and easy. You can do this, on your terms. Just be you.

 

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Keeping Peace

Lord, I want to talk to You tonight about amends. And about peacekeeping. Or peace-making. Actually, what I want to talk to you about is that verse in the Psalms, I forget where it is exactly, I am for peace, but when I speak, they are for war. That is what I want to talk about, how to keep peace, how to maintain it.

The first place you have to maintain peace is within yourself. You be at peace. Be at peace with Me. If you are at peace with Me, part of what that means is, let My Peace prevail within you. Let My Peace permeate your being.

Lord, I got this sudden visual, of a hurricane, and that made me remember a line in my friend Judy’s poem, now for me comes the calm i of the storm…

Yes, you can live at peace even in the midst of a storm. You can be an oasis of calm.

But what if the people you care most about in the world are in that storm? What if they are trapped in that storm, or, worse yet, even causing the storm? Then what?

This is what turn the cheek means–sometimes you have to take a breath and turn aside. You have to decide that your peace is more important than their war. The hard truth is, you cannot argue them into peace, not within themselves, not between themselves. You cannot argue anyone else into peace with you. You can only extend your peace, extend your love, and hope and pray they listen.

What if they don’t? 

Love never gives up. That doesn’t mean you continue to fuel someone else’s fire, but it does mean you can continue to hold your peace, in hope they will find their own. Think about that phrase a minute: hold your peace. You use it to mean, keep quiet. Keep silent, don’t speak up, don’t speak out. But think about it literally–hold your peace. Keep  your peace close to your heart. Hold on to your peace, don’t give it away, don’t give it up.

It hurts, to want peace so badly and to feel in my spiritual bones that a storm is coming. I know a little bit what to do in the natural. I know how to remove objects that could become missiles, to prepare for the power to go out, to stockpile water, maybe even shutter windows against flying debris, and to make sure my vehicle is safe on high ground. But spiritually? I know about building your house, your life, on solid ground, on You. On Your Love. That’s my rock. But what else can I do?

Here is what you can’t do. You cannot accurately forecast the wind speed or direction, or anticipate every flying object that might be hurled in your direction. But you can rely on My Peace as a guidance system, to tell you in the moment how to react, what to do or not do, and how to keep yourself safe, and on an even keel, emotionally and physically and spiritually.

Lord, I just feel like a hurricane is coming. A tsunami, a great raging wall of anger and upset. I see it in our country and I see it in the family. And it frightens me.

And what have I promised you? I have promised you that you will not drown. You will neither drown in a sea of rage, nor die of thirst in drought. I have promised you will be safe, safe in Me, safe in My Love, safe in My Armor, safe in My Peace. You won’t have to fight to keep yourself safe. You won’t have to abandon who you are. It may be, once the initial storm passes, that you will look around and find your world is smaller, but it will be yours, and it will be beautiful. Why beautiful? Because it will reflect who you are at your core: loving, peaceful, grateful, joyful. So be at Peace now, little one. Do not sleep fearing a nightmare in your future. What have I said, over and over? Perfect Love casts out all fear. And where is perfect Love? Right here. Surrounding you. That is your spiritual safety–My Perfect Love.

Here is something else I can promise you. As I Am fully and completely Myself, you will remain fully and completely yourself. You will not snap, you will not break, you will not shatter. In fact, the power you possess, which is gentle strength, the strength to love in the midst of the storm, is a gift from Me, and no one can take that away from you.

Now I want you to relax, and let go. Let go of your angst and your anguish over anyone else’s choices. That is hard for you. But as I told you before, you can be compassionate without taking on responsibility for anyone else’s choices. You learned this once. You can learn this again.

So in answer to your question, how can you remain at peace if the world around you goes to war? Be a conscientious objector. You don’t have to be objectionable, or obnoxious. Just purpose in your heart to utter a Divine No. And how do you do that? You say Yes to Me. Just as darkness cannot exist where there is even the tiniest light, so war cannot exist in a life or heart, as yours, where there is a commitment to peace. Follow Me, your Prince of Peace, and within you, all shall be well.

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Calling on Angels

NOTE: This particular entry dates back to December 2015. I felt led to post it tonight upon hearing of a domestic shooting in another state. After the word “bombing” in my original opening sentence, I added the words “shooting” and “attack,” after praying about altering the original entry. I offer it tonight as my prayer and intention for peace.

Oh, God, another bombing (shooting/attack). Please, please, please, please, please. Please.

Don’t worry and call it prayer. Don’t fear and call it wisdom. Don’t hate and call it justice.

Take a deep breath, and pray for My will, which is Peace, to be done.

Take another deep breath, and pray for My Kingdom, which is Love, to come.

Take yet one more deep breath, and pray for My Angels, who are heralds of Hope, to be once again seen, once again heard, once again felt, and once again followed.

Ssshhhh. You can cry; I Am crying too. What? You think I don’t weep with those who weep? I don’t ask you to do anything I Myself Am not already doing. Yes, I will wipe away all tears—but not today. Not as long as there is still grief and sorrow in your world. But bring those tears to Me. Don’t let what you see and hear make you bitter. This is hard work, to remain connected to Me as the Source of Love and Goodness when voices all around you begin to shout louder and louder in rage and revenge. That is what leads to war, you know—those voices. So cry if you must, but cry for peace.

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Salt and Pepper

Ok, so. So now what?

What do you do when you skim the fat off the top of a pot of soup?

I discard it and then I can add seasonings. Then I stir.

So these random musings, which are almost diary-like, serve the same purpose. They get you ready to distil the essence of what is important, what you can discard, and they help you taste your life to see what’s missing, what it needs.

Lord, what does my life need today? What does it need right now?

You can over-season, over-salt, put in too much pepper, and ruin what would have been a great recipe. You need balance.

Lord, I’ve had soup like that–so much salt or pepper I couldn’t eat it! When I think of salt now, I think of tears. And when I think of pepper, I think of anger.

So this is very important. Not only can you over-season, you can under-season. Soup–and life–is very bland if it is too watered down with no seasoning at all. So don’t be afraid of your seasons of tears or anger; just bring the whole of your life to Me. Tell Me here what makes you sad or makes you mad. Then we can more easily focus on what makes you glad still.

You see how cathartic that was? It is okay to acknowledge situations you think are unfair or hurtful. How can I help you right a wrong if you are not honest with Me or with yourself?

You can help me right a wrong I didn’t cause? One I don’t deserve?

But of course. Forgiveness is part of the process which you know very well. But that is not all. Sometimes restoration is needed. Sometimes a new situation needs to fill the gaps left in the aftermath of an older one. There is always a way to move forward. There is always a way to find or generate peace and joy. But you have to begin by stopping. Stop and acknowledge where you are. Then you can go on with more clarity.