Author: evetureknaturephotography@gmail.com

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One at a Time

Suddenly, I have so many need-to’s. My mind is trying to recall everything. Lord?

I brought the animals to Adam to name one at a time. They didn’t come en masse–that would have been overwhelming. You need to approach your to-do’s in the same way. Adam could never have named the giraffe if he’d been fretting over what to call the elephant. There is a place and time for Big Picture thinking and a time for the nitty-gritty details. You’ve had to bounce between the two, but for these next days, try to approach your tasks in the same way you were counseled to photograph in Florida–one bird at a time, rather than darting your focus from this bird to that bird to another bird. You will know when it’s time to switch to a wider angle perspective and consider the whole, but for this week, see each small task through before you begin to work on, or even think much about, the next one. That will help calm your darting thoughts. Not only will you feel calmer, you will actually get more done, with a greater sense of accomplishment. It’s not the way you usually approach a project. You usually try to juggle multiple pieces of its totality at once. Try this other way. You’ll be more productive and more serene. And yes, build in time to breathe! You can take mini-breaks as you finish a task. This is one of your issues–when you try to juggle and consider everything at once, you have the sense nothing is ever really finished, and you don’t let yourself stop, and rest, and enjoy a quiet moment. You also miss out on the satisfaction of accomplishment because your mind is already off and working on the next three things.

Gosh, God, it sounds so easy when You say it. So simple. But You’re right–it’s not how I think, not how I do things.

Remember, this isn’t a contest or a school day. This is your life, your beautiful, busy, multi-faceted life. Why not find ways to enjoy it more, in the actual doing and living of it?

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Full Circle

Lord, we’ve talked about north, about rest and peace; about west, the expansiveness I feel there; and about the south and my need to receive and connect. So what is left for the East, which I think of as the vision-place, the clarity view?

What do you see, looking East?

I see a shimmer, Lord, like sunlight dancing on moving water, the ocean at dawn. I see wings! Pelicans gliding on the currents, matching their movements to the interplay between air and water. I take a deep glad breath just picturing the scene in my head.

So, you see, for you, East is coming full circle. You integrate the peace of the North, the joyful, excited, enthusiastic energy of the West and the heartfelt connection of the South as you look East. East is your vision-place, yes–and also where you live on the map, the eastern edge of the US. Your vision, for a Utopian Eden, like a perpetual spring, will never be fully realized here on Planet Earth. You know this. But you will experience glimpses and moments, and those experiences are destined to grow for you in duration and strength, like a sunrise begins in twilight and grows to full day–but, and this is very important–only if you carry into each day’s beginning all the lessons of the other directions. Without these, the day will dawn overcast in your thinking and you will succumb once again to a heaviness of spirit. It’s all a choice. Remember, for this particular season of your life, in order to restore yourself, you need to work backwards.

North–Rest, Peace, Trust. Freedom from fear and anxiety, which cripples you.

West–Expansive Joy and creative expression, a direct result of peace

South–Re-connecting and connecting. Being willing to receive help, support and love.

East–Integrating all of these into a full life. Once you arrive here, then you can once again traverse the wheel clockwise, and give out and give back those gifts you have received.

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Summer’s Southern Gifts

Lord, You have talked to me about the North, and then about the West. Are we going to talk about the South now?

Yes, now it is time to move South on the wheel. What does South mean to you?

Lord, South means connection. The heart–my heart. What I love. Affection. What I am passionate about.

The South can become a place of zeal centered in the intellect, which is its danger for you. You’ve lived in that place before, mistaking effort for genuine enthusiasm, and you are there again. Other than these few minutes in the morning, you are parched for the water you find in the south. You are withering because you are not watering your closest relationships, other than your relationship to Me. But as I have told you, you humans are meant to connect with others, soul-connect, not just intellect-connect. You need to take some time and examine your heart’s garden. The state of your front yard is a perfect metaphor. What is going on in your garden?

Well, Lord, of course it is winter here literally, not summer. But last summer for the first time we hired professional yard help. And our well is broken, or dry. It doesn’t pump the water that flowers need to grow and thrive. And our drainfield failed, so when the guys came to replace it, they dug up the whole front yard, made a real mess digging up all the old pipe, and cutting out part of the sidewalk, but then they put in a brand new drainfield and leveled all the dirt. So now the septic system works, but all we have for a front yard is level dirt–which is going to turn into a mud field as soon as it rains.

You could use some excavation as well. The thought that you have to handle as much as you can by yourself is not helping you now, it is poisoning you. You fear to connect because you think your current vulnerability or need will turn your friends off, so you withdraw, thinking, I will get in touch when I have more to Give. Give them the Gift of Giving to you. The South is the place of giving and receiving, and in this cycle of summer in your journeys around the wheel, it is your season to receive. You can still grow a beautiful and abundant crop, but only if you avail yourself of all the love and support just waiting for you to reach out.

Gosh, God, it’s that important, huh?

Crucial, it is crucial. But as with everything else, it is up to you. So will you embrace this season of summer in your life? Are you willing to admit to your need and receive help? Not just task help, life-help. Heart-help. Water, soul-quenching streams. Can you say yes to receiving?

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Autumn Lessons

Lord, what is my fall lesson, my West lesson, on the wheel? I remember West stands for introspection. Isn’t that exactly what I am doing?

Remember the wheel is about balance. Think about what your friend wrote to you about the balance of a bicycle wheel. What is the first thing you think about when you hear the word “west”?

I think of the opposite of Looks-Within, actually–which reminds me visually of a cave. I think of wide open spaces, big skies, big mountains, huge canyons. I think of Big, period. Expansiveness. It is shorthand for huge, and abundance. And You know how I feel when I am there, as if anything is possible. I wake up differently there. I have all these creative ideas, visual ideas. Being west gives me this infusion of creative energy.

West feeds your soul, your inner self, in a different way than any other landscape does. And what comes pouring out of you from the west is different as well.

Music lives here in me I think, though I never equated the two before. But west is the seat of hearing, isn’t it?

Yes, West, the inner sanctum space in some cultures, is where you connect at your core with My Voice and with your own, and for you this connection thrives in spaces that mirror expansive thinking, and experiences of grandeur, grand vistas.

Lord, it feels like fireworks going off! I have ideas and energy! So why, how can I phrase this, why am I not feeling this now? I mean, I realize I MISS the west, literally. I have always had this sense of missing since my first visit in 1993. Pete and I were last there in 2011–seems so very long ago. But from a spiritual perspective, why am I not feeling what the West imparts?

Because you are viewing the West–which is also a metaphor for your autumn years, the years you are living now–as a closed, dark, constricted space rather than as a broad, wide, bright expansive place. Sunset can be as vibrant as sunrise–and can reach all across the sky as you have experienced. The harvest of your life experience now, at this stage, is brimming over with fruit, but you have been so focused on giving to others you have forgotten to partake yourself.

Lord, just thinking about “the West” I felt a surge of energy. The same surge I feel photographically when the light is magic. But that is just adrenalin, right? I mean, it is not sustainable.

It can be. If you can shift your focus up and out from the macro world you have been living in, of checklists and chores, and re-inhabit the larger world all around you, just waiting for you to notice and be present, you will have much more energy and enthusiasm even for those mundane chores. They will get done faster, leaving you with more creative time, which is what you crave.

Ok, Lord. Thank You. 

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Winter Gifts

Lord, I keep circling back around to the Four Directions.

What is your attraction to the Four Directions?

I love the balance of it. The aspect of stages of journey and growth, and the metaphors about how we perceive the world, and You, and ourselves. I like compasses and direction-finding, all the analogies.

 You have moved around the wheel many times, and you have stood or sat in the Center, trying to hold all the directions at once as balance. You always move around the wheel clockwise, corresponding to the seasons. You just began a new year, both in your calendar and with your birthday, and you are readying for a new business year as well. For you, the year begins in winter. For your friend in Australia, the year begins in summer, something beyond your reckoning, your experience. You’ve fallen ino patterns of thinking out of habit. So let’s walk the wheel backwards, in reverse, for a change. Jesus said, become as little children—that’s circling the wheel counter-clockwise.

That is counter-intuitive!

Let’s start where you are, in your year, in your body. Let’s start in the north, in winter, in the season of rest and reflection. Let’s start with all that is frozen and iced-over in you.

Lord, isn’t winter also about Wisdom and being an elder?

The Winter Gift of Rest is Wisdom, but that is not where you are, physically or emotionally. You still resist My Gifts of Rest. You eagerly embrace the gifts of the other directions, the other seasons of life, and relate them to work, to activity, to productivity. You resist winter’s gifts.

Doesn’t winter mean retirement: I mean that literally, like the last train station stop?

You are able to receive all three of the other directions within your life’s ages and stages—but not winter. So it is fitting we start here.

Some creatures hibernate all winter, sleeping away the cold in cozy dens, it is true. Others thrive in winter, making great migratory journeys to warmer climes. Winter can be about epic journeys—journeys to lands of plenty, to easier-to-find sources of nourishment and refreshment. Winter can be that for you. Think about your working life a minute. You often create your best images in a quiet winter setting, whether still and meditative or brightly vibrant. You used to always take your Florida vacation in winter, mimicking a migratory journey. You have sometimes used the slower months of winter to explore new creative outlets, or to write. Winter was a more balanced time of rest and creativity than it has become for you now.

So what am I supposed to do? In 2010 Patrick moved in. In 2011 Pete was sick. In 2012 we—he—renovated our gallery’s first home. In 2013 we had to leave that cottage and find, and renovate, new space. In 2014, we had a break, our last real vacation. Late in 2015 we bought SeaDragon and I had a lot to learn and quickly, to get ready for a new venture in a new place. Last winter we both hurt our backs, after the hurricane, and couldn’t go much of anywhere. This year we are once again moving, working to make a new space feel and look beautiful and welcoming. I don’t know how to balance work and rest—especially when I am trying to keep up with someone else’s pace.

You will miss all of winter’s gifts if you try to keep up. Remember the fox tracks you and Karen found in the snow in Carova, all those years ago? You need to set a pace for yourself that is sustainable, physically and emotionally and spiritually. What did I tell you before about choices?

To follow peace and joy.

So how much peace, how much joy, is your current pace providing? You are trying to skip over winter’s rest, morph it into summer’s pace of productivity and you are missing all of winter’s gifts in the process, gifts of presence of birds and wildlife. Gifts of words in books and essays, others’ words and your own. Gifts of subtle beauty in the landscape you are dashing right by. I want you to take up your walking stick and walk once again into winter. Amble a little. Set your pace to My rhythm. Do some of those winter delights that restore you. “Chill out” – a perfect winter turn of phrase. Allow your creativity to awaken and stir and stretch as you allow your body some rest and a slower pace. And if you must consider productivity, consider this—which images sell best, in your busy summer season?

The winter ones. Late fall to winter.

Exactly. The gifts you receive now will translate directly into summertime sharing—but only if you align yourself on the wheel to fully embrace winter and its gifts.

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Patterns

God, scripture says You don’t test us.

Why should I test you? I already know everything about you. I already know your heart.

Well, teachers test us to see where we are deficient–to show us, or themselves, where we fall short, where we have gaps.

Teachers need to ensure their students have a certain body of knowledge and skills in order to lead an integrated and productive life. Good teachers will assess both their students’ skills and knowledge, factoring in how they learn best. A great teacher will help empower students to continue to learn and grow beyond the classroom. There are other ways, better ways, to encourage and develop life skills than the concept of “testing” implies.

Like what?

When you and Pete got married, were you constantly demanding that he prove his love for you, or were you more focused on showing him your love, and how happy and grateful you ere to be together? And what about him?

We just loved each other, corny as that sounds.

It doesn’t sound corny at all. All that I Am flows from Love, to Love. Love is the beginning place, Love is the journey, Love is the destination.

Ok, Lord, but I have friends and family whose lives seem to be a series of, how can I say this, one-thing-after-another hard circumstances. It never seems to stop. And I am not even talking about the challenges we all eventually face if we live long enough, I am talking about a cascade of disasters. It seems as if more and more is being demanded of them. And if I may say so, it doesn’t seem fair.

Of course you may say so–you may say anything. I don’t want you ever censoring your thoughts with Me, as if you even could. So you are asking why am I giving them such hard circumstances.

Yes, Lord. I don’t understand. 

Imagine a farmer going out to plow his field. And imagine there is one part of the field that is rocky, and every time he plows there, he dulls or chips his blade. Imagine there is another part of the field where the ground is soggy, and poorly drained, and inevitably his tractor gets stuck in the mud there every single time. Now imagine this farmer getting up every morning and setting out to plow these same sections, perhaps imagining that this time all will be different–even though he has never removed the rocks, or tried to fill the soggy ground with better soil. Now imagine that same farmer actually neglecting the portions of his field that are good, fertile, cleared ground. How many crops do you think he will have? How much time and money do you think he will waste, constantly chipping his blade, always getting mired down in the muck? Now, finally imagine this farmer telling his neighbors, I don’t know what lesson God is trying to teach me, that I have all this bad luck farming!

Humans tend to repeat patterns, for good or ill. That is great when the patterns lead to good results, such as good health, loving and respectful relationships, wise stewardship of resources, and peace with others, but it is disastrous if the patterns lead to poor health, being taken advantage of, repeated abusive or neglectful relationships and so on.

When there is a pattern of behavior, or a pattern of results, you do well to come to Me for wisdom about changing the pattern. You can be sure it is not I Who is testing you in those kinds of circumstances. Instead, I Am the One trying to break through your destructive patterns and lead you in paths of life. You change by changing. Perhaps that means a different sense of responses so the outcome is different. One reason recovery programs are so successful is that they are based on the idea that different choices lead to different results.

So what is one concrete thing my friends or family could do?

The first, best thing to do is just to be willing to come to Me and talk about everything that is going wrong with a view to identifying the underlying pattern they may be repeating without even being aware of it. I have promised to lead My children in paths of righteousness. What that really means is, in paths that are right, and true, and perfect for that person. You can be sure My leading will always be centered in Love. For those whose patterns are lifelong, their hearts may be deeply rutted. I Am a gentle and loving shepherd. I will not push or prod or demand a quick pace. That is why the Psalm also talks about green pastures of plenty, and quiet streams. My Way is always the gentlest way. So I would say simply, come. Come, walk with Me. Lean on Me. Learn from Me. Love with Me. Live with Me.

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Road Trip

By the time you read this post, I will be out of town on a buying trip for a few days. While I am sure God will not be silent, and that His Presence is everywhere, I am not certain about internet access or carving out time to post while in the company of others.

I plan to begin posting again just as soon as I return to my home computer, certainly by the middle of next week.

In the meantime, I leave you with these thoughts.

If you are one of my regular daily readers, thank you. I imagine I will have lots to say when I get to sit here again! Maybe these few days are a time to begin a new practice of listening for yourselves. If you don’t already, take the few minutes you might spend reading this blog over the next few days, and instead, write out your own gratitude list. If you already practice gratitude, you might spend this time doing what I have just begun again to do, and write out some affirmations to concentrate on during your day, especially if your day gets busy, or stressful. What are the three most loving, most affirming things you wish someone, Someone, would say to you? Those words that would make your heart sing, somehow convince you that all will be well, or that would give you the direction you need if you are contemplating a choice? Why not write those down, even if they seem as if they are “only” your words, your hopes. And then, look and listen. Look and listen right that minute, look and listen throughout the next day. Do you hear, do you feel, do you see evidence of those words coming back to you in another, deeper, gladder, Truer Voice? I can promise you this: you are more deeply loved than you can imagine. My prayer for you while I am away from my computer for a few days is that this little hiatus will provide you with a personal experience similar to my own, convincing you how wonderful, how beautiful, how sacred, and how special you are to God, and how very much you are loved.

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Old Wells

Lord, You have talked to me a lot lately about water. Literally and metaphorically. How I need to drink more. How I need to be refreshed by the streams of Your Spirit flowing into and through my life. And I keep thinking the two are connected somehow. I don’t seem to get thirsty during the day so I don’t even think about drinking, staying hydrated. I need one of those computer watches (not really) where I set an alarm. What does that say about me, that I feel I need to set an alarm to remind myself to drink?

It says that you are overloaded. Also, you learned in grade school to go without water.

Oh, my gosh, I just had this memory, after gym class, going to the drinking fountain and I was so thirsty, and gulping down water, but a teacher stopped me, said I couldn’t or shouldn’t drink so fast. I forgot all about that. And the message I got, even if unintended, was not to drink period. And there truly wasn’t time. There was only one fountain for each hallway, and no time to stand in line and get a drink and make it back to class  on time. And since I brought my lunch, I learned to eat without drinking anything too. Well, well. Makes sense now. I am going to have to work at this.

Now let’s talk metaphorically. There have been times you have tried to draw clean, clear, soul-quenching water from other people’s wells, wells that in some cases were muddy or polluted, even poisoned. Those wells, unless they become capped and sunk new and fresh in a relationship with Me, are never going to give you the water you need. Never. You can carry shiny new buckets, you can buy longer, stronger ropes, you can persuade others to help you lower and raise the bucket–it doesn’t make any difference to the quality of what is in those inner wells. You can keep trying and keep being hurt and disappointed. You can give up and sit by the well and mourn there. Or you can choose a third way. You can purpose to pray for those wells, as you walk away toward the fresh-flowing Stream of My Love, through My Spirit, flowing not only directly into your soul but also flowing through so many others who delight to give you fresh water.

Receive from all the streams in your life, too many to count or name. And other than compassion and peace, give no more thought to the muddy, dry, polluted or poisoned wells that dot the landscape of your family or friends. You have many more streams in your life than wells. It is not your job to clean up or purify those wells. This is between each of them and Me, and it is something they each must decide and choose on their own. Frolic at the stream. Perhaps they will hear the joy and want what you have. But (and this is important, and this is also hard, I know) even if they don’t, don’t go back and try to draw water from there. Even if I send rain, as I have many times, rain showers of blessing, as long as their wells are polluted or poisoned, the rain is quickly assimilated into the polluted water that is how they think and feel, how they treat others and themselves, and the false ideas and opinions they have about Me.

Well-purifying is not your work, sweet one. Go to the stream. That is your source of receiving and giving. Go to the Flow.

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Valentines and Ash Wednesday

The Calm I feel this morning is already a Gift of the Day. It’s a day of cards and flowers, chocolate and hearts. It’s Mama’s Homegoing Day. So what would You say today?

Just as there truly is no separation, no distance, between us, between your spirit and My Spirit, there is also no separation between you and anyone you love who has stepped out of Time and into Eternity. Your Mother is not only aware of your past, and present in your now, she is also present to your future and your future fuller reunion.

God, when I look back, all I can feel is thank you–and how full they made my childhood, how much experience they crammed into stay-cations, local parks, a big yard to explore–and Mom especially, she really wanted a girly-girl but instead she got me, and how she went with that, eventually. Thank You.

Today is also about Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. A day we are supposed to be sad and fast and sacrifice.

I already sacrificed. Remember Nehemiah? The odd instructions he received: When the books of the Law had been found, and everyone began to mourn and wail and fast, focusing on guilt and shame, and I told him, no! Rejoice! Gather together! Feast! Celebrate! It has always been My Heart to have My People rejoicing rather than sorrowing.

So you can choose today to focus on Love as a positive force, a guiding and drawing purpose that brings you closer to others, or you can focus on Love as a negative force, demanding perfection and driving you further apart, leading to isolation. Which of those look like My view, My idea?

The positive uniting force, Lord.

That is right. Unfortunately, today, many will choose the rigors of ritual over the free and joyous expression of Love. The juxtaposition of Valentine’s–a day celebrated in what is called the secular culture, which is just everyday life, which I entered into in My humanity, and blessed with My presence–and Ash Wednesday–a day set aside for humiliation and shame–could not provide a more stark contrast. Choosing joy today, or any day, does not lessen your spiritual life, it heightens it. So I say to you and through you what I said through Nehemiah: This day is sacred, so rejoice!

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Life Practices

Lord, I need, I want, to establish some working, sustainable pattern of affirmations. My mind is always telling myself, telling my body some version of reality. It is never really quiet. So why not make sure what it is saying, the story it’s choosing, is positive rather than negative. Right?

 

You do choose to a large extent what to read, what to watch, what to listen to, what to absorb and assimilate. And what you choose to bring in directly affects what comes out. It is not that reciting affirmations guarantees you a life free from challenge or difficulty or change. But reminding yourself of My Truths and Promises, and reminding yourself of your own strengths and capabilities can ease difficulties and make sure challenges and changes transform into positive possibilities.

The truth is, you would very quickly get bored if every single was same-same, with no growth–particularly if same-same narrowed your opportunities to both connect and be creative.

Some of my friends pooh-pooh affirmations. Others live by them.

Don’t look to your friends. Look within yourself. What has been the fruit in your life, both using them and ignoring them: You aren’t trying to replicate your friends’ experiences, no matter how wonderful. You need to craft your own. So I would ask you, what has worked best for you in your life.

Community gathering began to not work–I think maybe because by the time it didn’t work, I had abandoned some of my own private replenishing practices, and in each of the community gathering venues, I was expected to pour out, in greater or lesser amount, and my well was dry by then. Each of these had ceased to be places or times that replenished me, and eventually I had nothing left to give.

So don’t start there. Start where you are. Start here. Work with the truths you know and let more occur to you.

Ok, Lord, well, here is what I know. What I know for sure. I know “Thou art with me.” I know I can move through my day with ease and grace, and I can accomplish every task with ease. I lived that before; I know it is true. I know I have been, and can be again, in the right place at the right time. Led by You.

I know my life blesses others and that I am a magnet for peace and lovingkindness, from critters and birds to people. I know Your world is beautiful at its core, and abundant, with more than enough for everyone to thrive, including me. I know You have a fountain of creative ideas and inspirations. 

I know You are Jehovah-Rapha and I know You are Jehovah-Jireh. Lord My Healer, Lord My Provider. I know I can trust the ones I love to Your Love.

What part of any of that feels false? What part provokes stress or anxiety.

None of it, Lord.

So here is a Template of Truth for your days. Why don’t you print it out where you can see it? We shall add to it as we go. And do an Art Page around these themes. And write some lyrics to help you remember these truths. And come back and let’s talk some more tomorrow.