So, Lord, this has been a roller-coaster couple of weeks, the plunge point being Pete spiking his 4th or 5th fever, I lost count, with two trips to his regular doctor’s office culminating in an ambulance ride to the ER. And he is much, much better now. But. So the hospital ruled out all the seemingly serious stuff, like pneumonia; the doctor’s office swabbed for flu, and that was negative, so it seemed as if he had some sort of virus. Then the hospital called back six days later, and turns out they had sent his urine for a culture, and he had a UTI. Once he started on a new antibiotic, he felt so much better right away, and we have had no more shaking chills, no more high fevers. But. The but is, I was calm during all that, but kind of an inside mess afterwards. I didn’t sleep well, agitated. And now that fatigue has piled up, and I wound up napping today. Â I am so relieved this was caught in time, before it became something too serious. But it could have been. And one day, it will be. Just writing that, my heart rate kicks up, I can feel it, and I am breathing more rapidly. I signed up for this–I know that. But it’s hard.
No, you didn’t. Not exactly. No human really ever “signs up” for the loss of someone they love. Remember, Death was–in the ways you experience it–never My idea. I planted a Tree of Life in the Garden, remember? That is why I have transformed Death into a Door, a Door I Myself Am. A Door I Myself walked through in human form so I could transform the Door into a Doorway, A Gateway, into Life.
Remember the vision you had, a couple days ago? Of walking into a Light so bright everything else fades and dims? Hold to that. Hold to that for yourself, and hold to that for everyone you love who has gone–or will go–before you.
You’ve had glimpses of this before, quick visual images. Now I want these glimpses to begin to permeate and resonate in your other senses, too, starting with hearing. You will begin to hear, in your mind’s ear, some of heaven’s music, as you hear My Voice, as you see in your mind’s eye.
In the midst of writing that, I mean, right that second about hearing, I hear my phone ping a message.
Yes, this will be that sudden–and in the beginning that startling. But it is time the Silent Movies end and you begin to integrate sight and sound.
Lord, kitty Barney is all stretched out. So relaxed.
Yes, that is what I want for you, the deep relaxation that comes from deep trust, from knowing all is truly well and you are loved, and cared for.
