After a decent night’s sleep, I woke up thinking about the period, a couple years back, when I suddenly seemed unable to wear a watch. Any watch. No matter what watch I put on, it would stop running. Take it off, lay it on the nightstand, and it would start again; put it back on, and it would stop. I met folks with similar experiences and we chalked it all up to something in our bodies’ electrical systems, or our salt balances, something. There had to be some explanation. Privately I thought maybe it was You trying to get my attention, to slow down maybe, or to give more heed to how I spent my hours. Whatever the cause or message, I finally found a watch I could wear and it kept time perfectly for at least 18 months. Until it didn’t. That very morning, the morning I woke up remembering how I stopped time, I reached for my watch after getting dressed to find it had quit running in the night! What sort of coincidence–or foreknowing–is that? To make the whole situation more interesting, my watch stopped at 3:30. It is a beautiful analog watch, so it doesn’t indicate a.m. or p.m. There it was, standing still at 3:30–which for my entire school life, from 1st through 12th grade, was the end of my school day. That time, 3:30, has always signaled school’s out, and a corresponding feeling of freedom. For 11 of those 12 years, 3:30 meant I could come out of my daily uniform (seniors were exempt) and get into “play clothes.” In earlier years, the day transitioned at 3:30 into a snack and play-time; in later years of course, there was homework to be done, and perhaps after school responsibilities and activities. Now, one of the shops I own has weekday shifts that change at 3:30 pm, as one set of folks ends their opening shift, and another begins what will be the closing shift. I stopped today and got a new battery and my watch is keeping perfect time again. But I just have to ask You–was this a coincidence? Or is there some larger message here, as I suspect?
For a brief period you had a chance to live as I live, Timeless. So much of your life is bound by time and ruled by time rather than by the events themselves.
God, I am suddenly remembering–we have talked about this before–taking a trip on a sailboat in the fall of 1982, and the captain took my watch when I climbed aboard. For this week, he said, you will drink when you are thirsty, eat when you are hungry, and sleep when you are sleepy. I was almost panicky at first. Of course there were no cell phones, so work could not reach me, and in fact, my employer at the time had already recognized my tendencies toward overwork and my need for a break.
And here we are. Again. Looking together at your tendency toward overwork and your need for a break. How was your playdate?
What playdate? The one You invited me to? Well…I don’t know where it went. I mean, I worked past the end of my shift, for one thing. I didn’t stop at 3:30! So all of a sudden when I did leave, I had stops to make, and it was a hustle just getting them done before I got home for dinner. As it was, I didn’t make the bank, so that had to be put off until today. After dinner I did play my guitar for a bit, not long, but that felt wonderful.
Why did you stop?
I had bills to pay, checks to write. As it was, that took the rest of the evening. I quit about 11:40. I wasn’t finished but I was oh-so-done. And tired. I was tired. I am tired.
So now you have a couple of days in which you have a choice. You can always find ways to fill your timecard with chores. The chores will always be present. You have to decide whether you are worthy, as an adult, as a responsible, diligent adult, of downtime. Of rest and recreation and play. I Am not going to force it on you, and I Am not going to cause illness if you don’t. But understand this. Your body was never meant to run at a gallop, day after day after day, without resting. Neither was your mind and neither was your heart. Something will eventually give, not as punishment, not because I caused it, but because you are wearing yourself out prematurely. Your battery inevitably runs down. You can prolong its life, you can prolong your life, and the quality of your life, by paying attention to some essentials. Play is an essential you tend to neglect. So why don’t you take another look at your weekend, and truly make it a weekend? Think back to your childhood glee at 3:30, or better yet, at the last day of school, and let’s try to rekindle some of that excitement in your very adult life.