Close Encounters of the Pelican Kind

Father God, I am having the best kind of deja vu. I am reading old journals, pouring over words we shared ten, eleven years ago, and two things are happening simultaneously. First, I am marveling at how what You said then, in advance, unfolded over the following months and years. How signposts You hinted at then came into full, glorious view later. And second, I seem to be reliving in real time now, what You said then, or what was happening then, but at a different level, like circling round a mountain coming around to the same view but different, because I am at a different plateau point now than I was then. I’m astonished, really.

Remember what I have told you: faith is the EVIDENCE of things not seen, or not seen as yet. The whole reason I speak in advance is to water and nurture your faith, so it can grow. Faith grows as a child grows, as a plant grows, with care and attention and the ideal conditions. I Am not interested in blasting your growth with blight or drought or pests to see if you persevere, if you are hardy enough. I Am interested in you bearing much fruit, and in creating the conditions where your fruitfulness flourishes. Above all, I Am interested in your growing into the self I see when I gaze deep inside you, the self that loves, that lives in peace, that exults in joy, that abounds in hope, that rejoices with others’ success as much as with your own. I see much growth in you, but the reality of living in eternity is that there is always room and opportunity for more growth. Your love can always expand. Your peace can reach wider, your joy can jump higher, your hope can cover more ground.

Ten years or so ago, I was rejoicing at my very first opportunity, in Ocracoke, to photograph pelicans at close range. Today, TODAY, after seeing a glimpse last fall, and hearing reports over the past couple of weeks, I had the chance to approach a lone pelican, on the dock in Duck, at close range. It was such deja vu, and made more so by what You said to me at that time. Lord, it was so key then, and I have the feeling that it is key again now. So here is what You said, what I felt, in those moments.

          “This morning I had this thought, this insight, about abundance, about living simply and doing with less, versus abundance. About being grateful for so many pelican pictures and thinking, that’s it, that’s too many, I can’t or shouldn’t have or want more. And the thought came, no. I am as grateful today for new pelican pictures as I was yesterday. I got to watch preening up close and at length. Wonderful. And the thought, to turn aside, not receive more, not look for more, was strong on one front, and its opposite was to receive, to celebrate, and to be grateful. Largess. Thank You Lord, for the time, the experiences, the photographs. This is expansive thinking. I have so much to understand here.

And then You said, You have so much to experience. You’ve relied too long on understanding, on others’ understanding. When you experience, you will know, and no one will take that knowing from you. You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. The Bible word for intimacy is to know. You will become one with this truth. A depth of experience–this is how you will know.

So Lord, I have to ask, why now? What is it that You are trying to say to me, now? All over again, an encounter with a pelican and all over again, that infusion of joy, of such deep gladness. 

Your quest for meaning, to make meaning, is great. It is one thing I love about you. But like anything else, even a great thing can be carried to an extreme where it is out of balance, and hurts the whole. What if I just wanted to give you a gift of joy? What if I just wanted you to play a little (or a lot)? What if I Am delighted with your delight, and rejoicing in your joy, and intending to catch your attention so you once again pay attention to your intention (all those plays on words intended). What if I came to you today disguised as Coyote, the Gentle Teacher, and the “gotcha” is to tickle you into rest by showering you with joy? Jesus disguised Himself for one moment as a Gardener and for another moment as an Itinerant traveler even His close disciples did not recognize. Imagine the joy when the Aha! was revealed. What if your current Vision Quest is to reveal to you once again the joy you experience when you just let go and be yourself, outside. What happened, after you saw the pelicans, in 2007?

Well, You asked me what else I would like to experience. And I said dolphins. And then we saw jumping dolphins up close in the Sound and surfing dolphins in the ocean, incredible!

Then, I was trying to persuade you about an important truth about Myself, and about you, about your capacity to receive. Now, I Am trying to do the same thing. You have received so much, and are so grateful, that paradoxically you are beginning to do the same thing you did eleven years ago. You are beginning to shut down, beginning to entertain a belief that says there is a limit to what you can experience and enjoy here on planet Earth, and that you are dangerously close to that limit, so you better ration out your blessings, lest you run out of blessing before you run out of time. Absurd, isn’t it, when you hear it expressed in such plain words?

I’m sorry, Lord.

Don’t be sorry. Just believe. Just believe I Am with you, I have much to show you and teach you and give you, and just believe that for all you receive, you don’t diminish either your later blessings or the blessings I have to bestow on everyone else. You are already struggling with the idea of abundance and largesse. The truth is even larger, more staggering, and the truth is infinity. But for now, let’s just concentrate on abundance, and on your willingness to say yes to more.