Relationship

Lord, it’s morning. I slept weird. Please, please, please, what would You say?

You don’t have to beg. I’m right here. I never moved.

But…

But what? You think your only value to Me is as a servant? As a scribe? What about Love? What about, I love you. Not, I love what you are doing for Me, which is the same as saying, I love Me–but, I love you.

That’s why I want you to stop picking your fingers–I love your fingers, I love everything about you. I made the little quirks that make you who you are. I’m proud of you, I bless you and I love you. I’m for you, I’m with you, I’m in you. And then, last, I’m through you. You’ve reversed the order. The order is important. It’s progressive in understanding and experience and maturity. I Am not looking for servants, but friends, remember? Friends share with one another. Friends talk things out.

Friends ask, what can I do to help? Friends hear your need and offer solutions, just like your friend did yesterday, and just like you did, in your last conversation. Let Me be your Friend again–the One you can tell anything to, the One with helpful advice. Not just your Lord, which for you is a loaded word that segues into Master and which puts distance between us. Ours is a different relationship.

I came to earth in part to model that different relationship and in part to encourage different types of relationships between humans, relationships based on an idea of equality as Children of One God. That is why Paul could write, there is neither male nor female, Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, for all are one in Christ Jesus. He was trying to point to the equality and worth of every human being. In that society, free Jewish males were at the top of the food chain. Slaves, non-Jewish “gentiles” and females were at the bottom. In your society, there are similar distinctions. Landed white property owners became the Free. Workers, even non-slave workers, became the servant class.

Master/servant, boss/worker, free/not-free is pervasive, all around you. You still struggle with believing this duality is from Me, when I came to abolish it once and for all.

You have been and continue to be a “good and faithful servant.” But I want more. Go sit by your Pete and come and sit stream side with Me. Let’s renew our vows; let’s be more than Lord and servant. Let’s be Friends. Let’s Love one another. That is the foundation for loving anyone else, you know. You love Me–now receive My Love, in all its manifestations and gifts.

Play Date

I didn ‘t blog at all last night. I closed, got home at 10, changed, ate a full dinner probably about 10:15 or 10:20 and was in bed shortly after 11. I just couldn’t do it. So what would You say about that? My idea was to try to upload something short, simple, this morning. But. But it is almost 8:30 and I need to leave in 45 minutes. And shower and dress and eat and…well. You get the idea. I open today. So. Can You talk to me quickski?

What you need to know quickski is I love you, I see you, I hear you, I’m with you and I Am so proud of you. Isn’t that what children really need from their parents?

Let Me be Father-God to you today. You are working hard. Let’s fold in a little play-date today, you and Me. How about it? See, you are smiling. That’s better. Now take My Hand and let’s see what sorts of adventures we can have in the midst of your busy workday, shall we?

A Time to Speak

I was thinking about Ecclesiastes, where it says there is a time to speak and a time to keep silent. I wish I knew which was which, or should I say, which was when. And that makes me think of times when it seems as if You are silent. So are You really, or am I just not hearing You?

Think how many words, how many timbres of voice, how many conversations you hear every day–in person, overheard, on the radio, on the television. Think about the voices of nature around you, from the different meows of your neighborhood kitties to Kaylee’s different barks for different reasons, to birdsong and the sounds of wind and water. And think about wind for a moment, how different wind sounds in a forest or by the sea, depending on what the wind is interacting with. The very tone of wind is different, depending on location.

Yes, all that is true. 

Humans are not very adept at speaking and listening at the same time. Hence the advice in Ecclesiastes. But I Am able to both speak and listen at once. I can speak to you while listening to your friend halfway around your world. I can hear all the voices, all the sounds, on your planet, in your universe, and all the voices in My Eternity, and all the voices of all created beings, including the angels, all at once. I have Miraculous Hearing! I hear your thoughts, I hear your motives, I hear your silent cries, I hear you whether you are silent or speak aloud. And I know your voice distinct from all other voices, just as you know the voices of those you love. When you think I Am silent, I Am just listening, and preparing your own heart to hear. Just think about the implications of what I just said. If I can hear your thoughts as well as your words, and simultaneously hear everyone else’s thoughts and words, and yet at the same time also hear all of creation, distinctly, and as a part of that, also hear the sounds of human invention, all the machinery, all the noise of creation and maintenance, of transportation and exploration, and still be able to distinctly speak back into everyone’s need to hear, then you need never fear that I will give you the Silent Treatment. That is what you were thinking, when you quoted Ecclesiastes. What if God suddenly goes silent–then what will I do?

I can no more go silent than I can cease to be, not in the ways you imply. Silence in that sense is a metaphor for disconnection, non-involvement, a decision not to communicate or participate. But I Am invested in humanity. My Spirit permeates your world and even your own bodies and souls and spirits. For some, it is true, who are more attuned to Me and My Presence, it seems as if My Spirit is with them in greater measure. But the truth is better stated this way: I Am. I Am no more with you, and no less with you, than with anyone else on the planet.

I need ears to hear, then, Lord. I mean, even more than I have now–which is more than I used to have. Is it possible to hear You in greater measure? I guess I mean, greater and greater measure, with greater and greater accuracy, as we age? Can our hearing grow, in other words?

Yes, you can learn to hear Me even more clearly amidst all the other sounds of your days. We have practiced this a little already, you listening for My words even with the television playing, or with other conversations happening in the background. The earth is always spinning on its axis, and always orbiting the sun. You are always in relationship to Me, from My end, My perspective. How close we are, how close we get, is up to you. I Am closer to you than your breath, for even at your last breath, what you will see and feel and hear and know, is Here I Am.

Mellow Meadow

Ok, God, I am testing the theory, again, that I can do more than one thing at a time, have background noise, and still talk to You. Or I should say, still listen to You. And this isn’t even a theory, I have done this before. But I somehow need and want to do it again. Truth is, I could quit what else I have been up to, and make the house, or at least this room, quieter. But I need to practice hearing Your Voice no matter where I am, or who I am with, or what else is going on. Earlier this week, I needed to have that sense of connection while driving, and while in a medical waiting room, in the midst of a working day that pulled me in more than one direction at the same time. So if it is true that You are Present, Ever-Always, Anywhere, Anytime, then I am taking this truth to its limit, or at least to the limit I can conceive of right now. Can a teacher hear You in a noisy, happy or unruly classroom? Can a tired Mom hear You while she is trying to quiet a restless baby, or arbitrate yet another sibling squabble? Can an employee hear You in a boring–or volatile–company meeting? You don’t always shout. In fact, with me, You hardly ever shout. So how can I hear You in the noise?

You can hear by feeling as well as by an auditory stimulus. You know how to feel Me, feel My Presence, by seeing. The quality of light changes, the wind shifts without a discernible cause, the water begins to move differently right in front of you. You have experienced all of these phenomena multiple times. You have come to associate those experiences with My Presence and My reaching through your sense of sight, and touch, to get your attention. I can also work through what you do–or don’t–hear as well as through what you feel and what you sense and what you see. You have literally felt the Quiet, sometimes in a quiet setting and sometimes in a setting that was far from quiet, such as a stormy day. You can practice, by asking Me to manifest My Voice to you above and beyond and underneath any surrounding noise. Try it now.

Ok, Lord, well, I am asking. The TV is on, some commercial. Fairly loud. So what exactly am I listening for? All I hear so far is the television. I keep thinking I am missing something.

Don’t think. Breathe, and listen.

Whoa. The commercial just said, captivating experience. I think it is a car commercial. But there was a note, a music note behind the words. And my heart started to beat a little faster. I am not even hearing the commercial right this second, I am feeling wind, not a cold wind, although I do have those little chill bumps. I am feeling wind, and hearing wind in my heart, not literally. I think the wind has actually died down some, outside. But I am feeling wind, and seeing a scene in my mind’s eye that feels like freedom, and expansion. There is this wide open field, somehow I think this is a mountain valley, not a seashore place. And oh, it is beautiful. If I sent out my own voice here, it would echo.

Yes, My Voice is echoing right now in your consciousness. And what am I saying, to you?

I suddenly want to, I don’t know, skip around and dance like a young child. I think I just heard–no, not exactly heard, more like felt You say, All is Well.

And so it is. All Is Well. All Is Well between us, All Is Well with your life, and your loves, and your soul. How do you feel, now?

Totally relaxed. No stress. In fact, I am not even really thinking. I mean, I am not trying to figure all this out, or figure anything out. Is this what mellow feels like?

So in the midst of noise, surrounded by paperwork, you felt the wind, you saw the field, you experienced a sudden surge of energy and then a correlating letting go, relaxing your muscles and your mind. And how did that all begin? What was the Door? What did you hear?

I heard a couple words in a commercial, and a background sort of hum. And I was off and running–literally, I saw myself running in that meadow. That was, that was wild, Lord. That was real, right?

Why did you ask Me to show you how you can be in touch with Me in the middle of noise?

Because I think I need that. And honestly, I think our world needs that. I think we need ways to touch You, Lord. To touch the hem of Your garment, have You turn and look in our eyes, and break our gaze on things that frighten or frustrate us. I think we need You, more and more. I know I do. And sometimes I feel badly about that, like I should not need You so much, like kids that grow and don’t rely as much on their parents. 

The goal is that you realize more and more how much you DO need Me, not how little. Our relationship grows deeper and stronger every day. As you get older, the wisdom you will gain is all in realizing the strength of our connection and how essential for life, for full, rich, fulfilling life, that connection is. Children grow taller–grow taller in Me. Sharpen and hone and rivet your senses, all of them, on My nearness. I promise you, your senses, if you dedicate them to My Presence, will reveal more and more how real and close I actually Am.

The Heart of Lent

Lord, the other day someone I love told me, I am giving up guilt for Lent. I thought that was brilliant! I’ve had pastors in past years speak about releasing, letting go of habits or patterns of life that are not in line with Your love or our best values. And I have heard others talk about sacrifice and giving up something we love to undergo a fast in order to somehow make ourselves more attuned to You. And I have heard still others say, no, Lent is not for doing without, Lent is for adding to — adding in habits or patterns that actually help a person draw closer to You or be more loving in their earthly relationships. Lent is really an invention of humans, meant to prepare us for Easter. What would You say about Lent, about all these different ideas about how to mark it?

The different ideas really reflect different human personalities.

Well, how should we mark it then?

The important thing is not how you mark Lent, nor even how you celebrate Easter. The important thing is, in light of Christmas, in light of Easter, how do you live? How do you live the other 360-some days? How do you live the 360 degrees of your life’s round circuit of the year, when you are not celebrating these signature “holy days” like Christmas, Easter, Pentecost, and your national holidays of Thanksgiving and New Year’s? What about all the other days? Too many ramp up what they think of as holiness during Lent, or during Advent, only to return to what they think of as secular lives during the other weeks of the year. What I would prefer is that you think of all your days as secular AND sacred. Both/And. No day is so secular that I Am not present. No day is more sacred than another. Every day, every hour, is present to Me and you are present to Me and I to you, at every moment. It is that presence that makes every second sacred. And I call you to live a sacred, consecrated life, in the middle of a very human existence, in community, with family, with friends, at work, at play, in business. What I mean by a consecrated life is a life in which you fully show up to be present while simultaneously aware of your connection to My Presence. One foot on the soil and one hand in heaven, so to speak. And your heart connected to both. So to answer your question about Lent, what I would say is, do you feel you are the most connected to Me you can possibly be, or is there room for a closer, deeper relationship? If you answer the question, there is no way I can be closer than I am living now, one of two things is true: you are very close to your Homegoing, or there is more for you to understand and grow into. And if you answer, I know I can be closer, but I don’t know how, then Lent has served its purpose. For I Am here to draw you and reach to you and teach you how to live a human life with a heavenly heart, with a heart connected to heaven and earth.

You saw the heart reflected tonight on the water, and you wondered, how can this phenomenon be happening? And I told you then, this is a reflection of your heart. And inside, you doubted. You doubted not Me but yourself. You doubted you were hearing My voice.

And then what happened? Your friend sent you a timely message written by Richard Rohr about divine radiance, about our human hearts being attuned to that radiant Presence, and how you need to keep your lens clean and your heart pure in order to see God. And where were you as she was preparing to send you that message? Out in the world, walking at sunset, camera in hand, very attuned to nature, beaming your own love of the land and the birds out from your heart. And what did you receive in return? A radiant heart shining and shimmering on the water. This is your calling, in Lent, in Advent, in all the other “ordinary times” — see with the eyes of your heart. See as God sees. And remember that the lens God chooses to see through magnifies good, and diminishes evil by applying mercy and grace and forgiveness and a seventy-times-seven second chance. So by all means, keep walking. Keep seeing. Keep sharing. And keep loving.

The Gift of Silence

Sometimes, like right now, I can’t think of anything in particular to say, or ask. So what would You say? What would You say about that?

You come here to the Page to listen. It is okay to come to Me and just breathe. How often do you really do that? We don’t always have to speak to be heard. Remember, I know your thoughts, even before you do. I know your heart, I know your mind, I know your body’s strengths and weaknesses and challenges. I see your successes before they happen and I see your stumbling in time to catch you before you fall. You don’t need words to get My attention. I Am riveted by you, My attention is fixed on you — on all of you — every single second of every single day. You can scarcely fathom such Love or such attention. So don’t try to be what you are not. Don’t strive to be profound when what you really want and need is some rest. Just keep being real and honest with yourself, and that will keep you intentionally real and honest with Me also.

 

Disconnected

Whew! I just tried to open this page and got the “not connected to internet” message–several times. Tried Pete’s computer which was fine, came back in, jiggled some wires, and here I am.

And what message did you get from that?

Honestly, God, the very first thing I thought of was how hectic my day was, and how I didn’t take time to connect deliberately with You in the morning. I am doing it now, at the end of my day instead of at the beginning.

You felt disconnected?

I did. All day long I was scattered. I’d woken with a migraine which went away a couple hours after I took my imitrex, and thank You and thank them again, whoever was involved in its formulation, but that put me behind schedule. 

But were you really disconnected? Is your internet service truly out, or did it just require a little effort, the tiniest focus and intent, on your part?

That’s all. It was weird.

Not weird. Wired. You just needed a gentle reminder that, despite your feeling disconnected, you are never truly disconnected from Me because I Am never disconnected from you. You might have to–as you say–jiggle your wires a minute, set your receptors and your attention on hearing from Me, and then what happens? Here I Am. Right where I was all day, patiently waiting for you to be ready, to reach out.

God, this connection we have, it is amazing. And I am so afraid that it is like my internet service is sometimes, temperamental, fragile, easily broken. Can I just say it? I am afraid I am going to wake up some morning and it will just be gone. You will just be silent. Or I will just be deaf.

I know. I know all your fears and where they originate. That is why I tell you over and over, in so many different ways, don’t be afraid; you are not alone; I will never leave you. The only reason it seemed to take years to hear directly from Me is that for years, you did not believe you could. You did not believe I would speak to you, “little you.” You tended to belittle yourself instead of seeing how great My Love is, how I long to reach out and connect to every single one of My Children, no matter whether they think of themselves as great, or small and insignificant. There is no one immune from My Love or My Presence. No one is so great that I Am not needed–although that need may not be recognized. And although many, many think themselves too small for My attention, no one is small or insignificant in My reckoning.

God, sometimes I try to quantify your love, and I just can’t. I can’t make it big enough or long enough or wide enough.

Do you remember when you first learned of infinity in math class? How you could keep adding a number at the end of a string of numbers and go on forever? Well, that is one metaphor for My Being. And since My Being is Love, there is no end, no finishing point, to My Love. There is no place and no time where anyone can move past My Love. There is no boundary beyond which My Love does not exist. I, and My Love, are Infinite. Most of your human conversations are about boundaries of some sort, boundaries of geography, of distance, of time; limitations of strength or duration. Even events such as your Olympic Games, where athletes push beyond previous boundaries and set new records, are based on the idea that each new boundary will someday be broken, perhaps by milliseconds. Such precise measurement of boundaries makes the concept of Limitless and Timeless impossible to understand with a finite mind housed in a body whose very physicality imposes constant limits.

So, Lord, I have to ask. If there is no place, no time, no existence where You are not…that is what You are saying, right?

That is what I Am saying.

Then what about Hell? What about that place of “wailing and gnashing of teeth”? That place where You are not. That place of torment that people go to, depending on different criteria but in a broad stroke sense, if they don’t live in a way that provides entrance into Your Presence forever, which is what Heaven is. Are You saying Hell isn’t real? Jesus talked about Hell.

This is hard to explain given the limitations of words and your experience. At the moment of what you call death, everyone will come into My Presence. No exceptions. Now, some folks will immediately rejoice. They will be able to perceive where they are (even “where” is not an accurate word). Let’s say it this way–they will be able to perceive My Presence and literally be engulfed in the Love, the Peace, the Joy that My Presence provides. Other folks, particularly those whose lives caused harm to others, or even to themselves, will also perceive My Presence, and the Light and Truth of that Presence will create a great chasm within them of regret and remorse. They will perceive in that instance every action, every thought, every word that was in opposition to what they are experiencing around and within them. It is that regret and remorse that will cause the wailing and gnashing of teeth. Now, I want you to imagine for just a minute, in your finite way, that someone is in front of you in that kind of pain. Maybe that person even hurt you, way back when. What do you do now?

God, good grief. I am crying right now. I think, I hope, I would do anything, anything I could, to quell that pain for them. I hope I would. I can’t stand it, can’t stand the thought of it. Can’t You do something? Can’t You fix this?

You see, you have so much of My Heart in you already. I have done something, and the something I have done has the name Forgiveness. Grace. Mercy. Lovingkindness. So now imagine Me wrapping My arms around that regret, that remorse, and kissing it away. Now how do you feel?

Geez, God, now I am sobbing. 

And?

So much joy. So much giddy joy. Really? Me? This is really for me? That is what I would be feeling, if I were the one in pain. And if I were the one able to relieve that pain, wow. What an incredible feeling.

Love is the Greatest Power of all. It is Mine to give and it is Mine to withhold. Here is what so many cannot understand–I do not choose to withhold it. I could, of course I could. But then I would no longer be Good. I might be God, but I would not be Good. But as you are so fond of saying, I Am Good, all the Time. And Beyond Time.

God, you know one of my favorite verses is, the one who is forgiven much loves much.

Yes, that is why there is only Love in heaven. Even those you might consider the worst offenders, once mercy is extended to them, overflow for eternity with gratitude and love. And those who enter heaven with the most remorse initially are the strongest defenders and protectors of life on earth. To use your human terms, it is their amends.

Wow, God. That…that isn’t what I was taught. But it rings true. I have thought for a while that You had more to say on this subject…but I was afraid to ask.

You don’t have to be afraid to ask, or question. Just remember Who you are talking to, and lean into My Love.

So…there is no disconnection. In eternity.

Exactly. Now you begin to understand.

Can I ask one more question?

Of course you may.

What about faith? What about those on earth who have no faith?

A better way to phrase that is, who have no understanding. In that moment of death, they will all Understand. They will Know. They will Receive. And for eternity, they will Love and they will Give. Rest assured in that. Be at peace in that.

 

 

 

Road Trip

By the time you read this post, I will be out of town on a buying trip for a few days. While I am sure God will not be silent, and that His Presence is everywhere, I am not certain about internet access or carving out time to post while in the company of others.

I plan to begin posting again just as soon as I return to my home computer, certainly by the middle of next week.

In the meantime, I leave you with these thoughts.

If you are one of my regular daily readers, thank you. I imagine I will have lots to say when I get to sit here again! Maybe these few days are a time to begin a new practice of listening for yourselves. If you don’t already, take the few minutes you might spend reading this blog over the next few days, and instead, write out your own gratitude list. If you already practice gratitude, you might spend this time doing what I have just begun again to do, and write out some affirmations to concentrate on during your day, especially if your day gets busy, or stressful. What are the three most loving, most affirming things you wish someone, Someone, would say to you? Those words that would make your heart sing, somehow convince you that all will be well, or that would give you the direction you need if you are contemplating a choice? Why not write those down, even if they seem as if they are “only” your words, your hopes. And then, look and listen. Look and listen right that minute, look and listen throughout the next day. Do you hear, do you feel, do you see evidence of those words coming back to you in another, deeper, gladder, Truer Voice? I can promise you this: you are more deeply loved than you can imagine. My prayer for you while I am away from my computer for a few days is that this little hiatus will provide you with a personal experience similar to my own, convincing you how wonderful, how beautiful, how sacred, and how special you are to God, and how very much you are loved.

The Parent-Child Connection

Well, today was…interesting. It rained on my parade–literally drove me off the beach and back indoors.

But you didn’t let the rain ruin your afternoon. You went out looking for hearts, and you found them.

Yes, and now I’m sitting trying to Connect, on the couch watching the Super Bowl with a husband whose team is losing. I reckon it’s a great time for me to, what? Not test what You say, but prove it true in my experience. Sort of, if I can manage to hear You here, in the middle of distractions, sounds emotions–then, then, it’s true that anyone can hear You anywhere. Right?

One of the unforeseen and unfortunate consequence of community worship has been to discourage the discovery of the Presence of God in all the other hours of the week, especially in the middle of messy real life days. Think of how you have heard prayer time described: Quiet Time. But what about all the rest of the time, when life is anything but quiet?

I want you to think back to your experiences deep in the pelican and tern rookeries. In all the chaos of birds flying and waddling, of biologists banding and then releasing, somehow all the baby birds managed to unite with their right parents. The connection was stronger than the chaos. Now, do you think the connection was stronger on the baby bird’s’ side or the parent’s side?

I would guess the parent’s side. The babies have need, and the parents are hard-wired to meet that need.

So it is with Me. The Connection between us is always maintained on My part, and as you are learning right this minute, you can actually hear, clearly, My Voice even in the middle of other voices. Even in the middle of other voices shouting. You have learned to recognize My Voice. I don’t have to shout, to make Myself heard. You know My Voice by now. So the Super Bowl lesson for you is, no matter how the game goes, no matter how loud life gets all around you, you can still hear and respond to My Voice within.

You can turn, answer your text, and talk to Me.

You can look up, respond to anyone in the room, and hear from Me.

This is what I mean by no separation. You don’t have to wait for Sunday, you don’t have to wait for your early morning quiet time, you don’t have to wait, period.

So I have a question. Why did it take so long, then? What about all those years I could barely hear You at all? Were You not talking just as much then?

For years, you were schooled to believe I speak in particular ways, at defined times, and often only through select people. You had to line up all the conditions, just so. Can you feel Me laughing? Can you see Me dismantling all those barriers to My Presence? Now that the River is flowing freely, you will never experience drought again. Even the rain will remind you of all the ways My Spirit waters your soul.

So for folks reading this now, who may be where I was, what can they do differently to find this kind of Connection, where You speak in the middle of busy days at work, or loud kids, or the TV blaring? What steps can they take?

The best way to begin is to expect I will speak into their heart. And the best place to begin is to find some quiet.

I thought You just said we don’t need quiet.

Quiet is a good place to start, so that you can move beyond it. Everyone uses the bathroom. Everyone takes a shower or a bath. These are great times to turn off any background noise and reach out to Me. Once people experience My Voice within, even one time, they will know what to listen for, like a mother who can recognize her child’s voice in a crowded classroom at the end of a day. Then, as happened with you, the experience of connecting with Me, however briefly, will create a Holy Hunger for more contact, more awareness of My Nearness. And very soon, they will be sharing with others of how their experience of Me has deepened and changed.

As for you, keep being open and honest. And now that you have been able to hear Me here, expect the particular timbre of My Voice to be even more evident all throughout your day.

Happy Birthday! See, you’re smiling. Now what would you say about your day?

Uh, how about Wow?

Wow is good. I like Wow. I specialize in Wow, in fact. And even before you can think it or take the time to write it out–since I know your thought beforehand–you are so welcome.

Knowing

Lord, here is a concern. I don’t want to be deceived, and I sure don’t want to deceive others. So I write that and I think, the blurt is, what if I am just talking to myself, deceiving myself this is You, or worse? I think about the deception in Genesis, an egocentric focus, the whole first lie, you will be like God…

You are already like God—all humans are, in the sense that I made humanity to be spiritually sourced in Me. You are all meant to be “like God” – to walk in love and in peace with one another. That is not the stumbling block phrase. “Knowing good and evil” – that is the stumbling block phrase.

Remember “knowing” wasn’t used just for intellectual understanding but for intimate experience. I, the Lord, recognize evil but I don’t “know” evil. I do not experience evil in Myself, in My choices. The instant result in the Garden was shame (not-like God), blame (not-like God) and hiding from God and each other (not-like God). That is not wisdom. That was the lie, that experiencing evil would make humanity wise, make humanity more divine. But no.

I have spent all of human history in every culture trying to undo that lie, trying to restore individuals to Who I Am, to who each one can be in Me. Your lyric is right—you can’t hold My Fullness, but you can do your part. And your part is to shine and to inspire others to find their connection to Me.