Month: March 2018

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Easter Vigil Blue Moon

Lord, thank You so much for today. An over-the-top day, in what is really, spiritually speaking, an over-the-top season, an over-the-top weekend. I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head, things I need to be sure I don’t forget, things I need to tell staff, things I need to arrange, things I need to do. Last month when we were in Philly, I said then, that my need-to’s fill my thoughts, but You fill my heart. That is so true. And You said to me then, I Am as close as your breath.

Hope and faith are like a bridge. Sometimes that bridge crosses turbulent water; you have had your share of that. But bridges are not a place to stop and camp, certainly not a place to build a permanent residence.

I don’t understand. Isn’t faith and hope where we are supposed to be living?

Remember how Scripture says, Hope that is seen is not hope, for who hopes for what he sees? I want you to live in Sight. I want you to live in Hearing. I want you to live in Assurance. I want you to live by Experience. I want you to Know My Presence. I want you to understand beyond knowledge, and to Love beyond understanding. I want you to cross the bridge, use the bridge for what it is designed for–to lead you into My Presence, not at the end of your life’s journey, but NOW. I want you to come into a fuller experience of My Presence with you, NOW. I want the now of your days to expand into moment after moment after moment after moment.

Tonight, when the moon rose, what happened?

Well, I couldn’t see it at all on the horizon. It looked clear but there must have been clouds or haze on the horizon. It finally peeked through briefly after about 10 or 15 minutes and then went behind the haze again. Then after another few minutes it rose above that layer, clear. Perfectly clear and full, the second blue moon of the year.

So here is My second promise to you for the year: Just as the full moon appeared after what seemed a brief interlude of waiting, of having faith, of hoping in its appearance, so all you have worked for and hoped for and had faith for shall appear in your reality, bright and round and full like the moon tonight. I have seen your efforts and your labor, and I declare to you, they are not in vain. And more–they are not vanity on your part, either. This life you are living is My Gift to you, and through you, to the larger world. The second full moon of March, appearing right at the end of the season of Lent, right on the cusp of Easter and your own commitment-day, signals an important shift for you. Did the moon struggle to rise, or did it merely move in its circuit, as it was created to do? Did the clouds really have power over the moon, or was the moon’s reflected sunlight brighter than the clouds? And did the intensity of that reflected light not color the waves below? So shall your own life in Me be. Prepare for a full, rounded, reflected, bright-shining life. You watched the waves dance upward in their meeting with the pier pilings. Life shall be less a struggle and more a dance for you. The more you play, the more you sing, the more you breathe, the more life will dance for you. The more creation will sing to you, the more the plants themselves will breathe for you, the more at home you will feel in the Garden, remade and replanted, right where you live.

Tonight is Moonrise. Tonight also, at midnight, just minutes from now, many in the church will celebrate SonRise. Others will celebrate at dawn. Celebrate every day, every morning, every evening. Cross the bridge. Live as if My Kingdom IS come–in you and for you and through you. Extend My Kingdom by your love and your gentleness and your generosity, to everyone you encounter. Rise Up in My Rising, with a new assurance of My blessing and My Presence with you.

Prepare for a larger life. You think, I am bursting at the seams already! How can I hold more? There will be more crops for you to reap and more to sow, more to plant and more to share, more to sell and more to give away. That is the message of this full blue moon for you: More. And don’t forget, we have a play-date tomorrow!

I haven’t forgotten, God. I am actually really excited about it!

Me, too. Now sleep well. Tomorrow is a Big Day. You’ll see!

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Grace

Lord, I’ve been remembering, 45 years ago this very weekend, not Easter–Easter was later back in 1973–but this weekend, how I decided even though we were not a church-going family at that point, to give my life to You, to knowing You, to being Yours. What I remember the most was saying to You then, at 16 years old, I want this to be real, and I want this to be for always. I don’t want to make this commitment now and then renege on it later. I want this to last. And it has. Sure, I had some ups and downs, not so much in my belief in Your existence as in my understanding of how powerful and true and real Your Love is. Once I began to build a relationship with You based on Love and not on fear, everything changed. My whole life changed. I am so grateful, God. You stuck with me, even when my understanding was flawed, or incomplete, enough so that I made some really poor decisions at times. Yet You were faithful despite all of that, faithful to continue to call me Yours. I think I will spend the rest of my life, the rest of eternity, trying to find more ways to say thank You. I guess that is why I keep trying to give other folks the benefit of the doubt, as the saying goes. That is what You did for me. Even when I doubted, You gave me the benefit of Your love despite my doubt. I guess that is what Grace means, right? 

Grace shows the lengths that I will go to bring each of My children, each of My sheep, home. And what is home, but a sanctuary of safety and love? I went to the Cross precisely so that I could say, Father forgive them.

Lord, I had this insight a couple years back; at least, it felt like insight at the time. You didn’t say, Father forgive them because they are so sorry. You did not wait for humans to be sorry, or to apologize, or to change, or even to ask for forgiveness. You proclaimed it in advance. And You proclaimed it over a terrible act, Your own betrayal and murder. You didn’t say, Father forgive them when they realize what they have done…not even that! You just said it like it is–they don’t know what they are doing. And isn’t that true so often of all of us? We THINK we know, but we don’t. And in that moment, there was no sorrow, there was no repentance, no change of mind or heart or purpose. So when that insight came, it seemed to me at the time to have come from You. I am not sure I would or could have thought that up on my own.

You did not. Indeed, that was Me teaching you.

So… So Your response was not to judge, not to proclaim righteous judgment, or anger, or even to ask for justice. You did not even ask that they would be made sorry! Your response was to ask for mercy–in the very moments of Your dying, You are asking that those putting You to death be forgiven. Am I right? Is that what You meant? And so…what does that mean today? In our time? At this Easter, 2018?

Just as some believe the window on miracles, or answered prayers, has closed, so some believe the window on mercy has closed as well, or at least, has narrowed and shuttered to admit a very limited number into the inner circle of My Favor and forgiveness. The criteria for earning that forgiveness varies according to doctrine, but the general idea that My forgiveness is limited is the principle that has endured through the centuries within numerous faith traditions that disagree on many aspects of worship or service or the afterlife. The one agreement seems to be, entry into My Kingdom, be that favor on earth or favor after death, is limited. These same traditions then teach different criteria for admission! From each one’s perspective, all the other traditions seem wrong, and only theirs is correct and true. No wonder so many have rejected all of them wholesale!

There are prayers I always delight to answer in the affirmative. One of those is, Father, please forgive them. Of course, I always also hear, Father please forgive me…but those prayers often have to be repeated again and again as the petitioners’ behavior remains the same. But prayers for forgiveness of others, forgiveness for those who have wronged the one praying, those prayers are powerful, and are based in love and compassion and a true commitment to peace and accord. That is the prayer Jesus prayed from the Cross. That kind of prayer always gets heard. Do you think I would answer NO! to a prayer uttered in that spirit, with that heart, from My Own Son? From One Whose life and love mirrors My Father-God’s heart?

Over and over you have examples of His refusal to enact revenge, of His trying to teach about mercy and grace. Yet so many, in His Name, will use this weekend to proclaim a mercy that is stingy or so full of conditions it is not mercy at all–it is reward for following a rulebook of codes for behavior.

What this means in your time is the same thing it meant when Jesus uttered those words in the first place: I, God, Am constantly answering His prayer for mercy, with every act of human injustice, with every deliberate action of evil, for all the ways humans hurt one another. I Am always, always working to mitigate ill-will and to encourage the reuniting of humanity, humans with humans, humans with nature, humans with Me. Here is a hard question–what do you think about that kind of radical mercy? The kind of mercy that would ask for and proclaim forgiveness even in the midst of the unspeakable act? The mercy that would extend a hand not only to the one drowning but to the one watching on shore doing nothing to help? The mercy that turns the key in the lock and throws open the jail cell door even as the sentence of judgement is being shouted out by the pious mob? What kind of justice is this, that offers and extends and in fact insists on mercy? The Divine kind. The kind that says, mercy triumphs over judgment. Mercy wins the day. The kind that knows, the one who is forgiven much, loves much. The kind that is building a kingdom, one act at a time, one hour at a time, one life at a time, all on love.

Lord, I decided some time ago, I want to be a part of that kingdom. I think I have some friends who will decide that is heresy. That judgment is the last result.

They are mistaken. And you know what is precious about that? Their being mistaken does not jeopardize their eternal destiny one bit! They may well be surprised by discovering how broad and wide and deep and rich My Love actually is. But in that Moment, when they understand, all their misunderstanding will melt away, and only full understanding, and their own reciprocal love, will remain.

The same is true of those who have committed acts of unkindness–or worse–on earth. In the Moment when full understanding comes for them, so comes full regret and the weight of that regret will be unbearable. You were correct when you shared that insight with another recently. That is indeed the Moment of wailing and gnashing of teeth. And right at that exact Moment, Here I Am, the Burden-Lifter. When their burden of regret is lifted, and is replaced by My Mercy and Forgiveness, the answering response of their soul will be gratitude and love so great they will not be able to contain it. The overflow of the love and gratitude from those many would call the “worst sinners” will become the sweetest perfume in all of heaven. No earthly rose can rival that perfume! What will be evident throughout eternity is the strength of My Love and My Grace–not My Justice, nor My Retribution, but My Mercy. For I Am He Who Pardons. Remember when Jesus said, so you love those who love you? What great thing is that? Love in the way Your Father in Heaven loves, for He sends His rain–His blessing–on the just and the unjust alike.

I tell you, that is the “perfection” Jesus was speaking of — full, complete, whole Love. That is the Love I Am. That is the Love I Give. That is the Love you will know in fullness, after your earthly life ceases. That is the Love that everyone will know–for My Will shall be done, and it is not My Will that any perish, but that ALL come to repentance. In that Moment, that Moment of clarity and understanding and regret, all shall come to repentance, to the intensity of wanting to have made a different choice, not out of a desire to save their own souls but out of a desire to not have caused such suffering for others–THAT is repentance, and that is the Moment when Grace and Mercy flow. That is tripping the switch that floods the soul with light and with love.

So who do you think has the most joy, the deepest appreciation of grace, and the greatest capacity for love? Those who feel they don’t have anything to apologize for, that they are righteous in themselves, that they have followed the rules “well enough” — or those that realize all their mistakes, all their missteps, all their acts of unkindness have been wiped off the record books by the mercy and love of Someone much greater than themselves? Someone with the capability and capacity to inflict great punishment, but Who chooses instead to show great mercy?

God, I would assume the second ones. The ones who receive the most mercy, let’s say. The ones I would probably shun, or judge, if I met them here, now, before they received that mercy. Gosh, God, how can I ever learn to love like You love?

You know how married people begin to look like each other after they spend 40, 50, 60 years together? How their gestures begin to be the same? How their shared experiences and shared life make a new whole, still individuals, yet also one? This weekend is our 45th anniversary, yours and Mine. You look a little more like Me with every passing year. You already have grown beyond what you thought was your capacity and ability to love and embrace others unlike yourself. Start with compassion. If you can extend compassion, it is a very small step to extending mercy and forgiveness, and from there, it is a small step indeed to extending Love.

 

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Playtime

Lord, a friend of mine who is visiting the beach posted something extraordinary today, extraordinary in its simplicity, its innocence, and its honesty. She said she asked You to play with her today, at the beach. Now why didn’t I think of that?!? Why hasn’t the whole world thought of that? What parent doesn’t play with his or her kids? Even animals teach their young by playing! And yet I never, not once, thought of asking You to play with me. I’m sorry, God — it never occurred to me, and it never occurred to me that You would want to.

Remember just yesterday I said My challenge is to approach each of you on your own terms, in ways that you can receive from Me best? For all you have grown, and all your stretching into new realms of experience of My Love and My Presence, still you tend to be very serious, extremely so at times. You take life seriously! Life is serious business! You love to laugh, you love to make others laugh in an easy, gentle way…but your over-arching view of life is serious, even somber, not playful. You take responsibility seriously, you take your relationships seriously, you take your work seriously, and you take your time with Me seriously. This is part of why recess was hard for you as a child. This is why you struggle with all those creative exercises in your favorite books that ask you to dream a little, play a little, exercise some frivolous imagination. It is why, despite loving it, you abandoned most good fiction as somehow unfit for the limited reading time you have. Instead, you try to read books that are scholarly in some sense, designed to teach you something, increase your knowledge or skill or performance. Little One, you do very little for the pure fun of it. Your quest to find and make meaning has led you to profound insight at times, yet you have forgotten what little you once knew about playtime.

Here is a proposal for you. Why don’t you think about what playing with Me would be like for you? Why don’t you try to imagine a scenario in which pure, holy play was not only allowed, but encouraged? Why don’t you imagine, just for a minute, opening a serious-looking engraved invitation, in which I, the God of the Universe, invite you, the Serious Scholarly Sage, to come out and play? Can you do that? Will you do that? I tell you the truth: your best imagery thus far happened when you were closest to My playful heart. My heart that delights to delight you. So let Me ask you one more time: can Eve come out and play?

Gosh, God, honestly, I don’t know. But I am willing to try. If it is okay with You, I think I would like to try Easter Sunday.

It’s a play-date, then. And there is no better day–you’ll see!

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Trust

Lord, it occurred to me, driving home, I often ask You about things. I need wisdom or guidance or understanding. But sometimes, I need to ask You, or I want to ask You, for things–blessings of various kinds. And I have had friends who fall on either side of a great divide in understanding. On the one side I have friends who say, oh no, you can’t; God doesn’t grant those sorts of prayers! And on the other side are friends who say, oh my, you must — God delights to grant those sorts of prayers! So they can’t both be right…right?

Let’s set “right” aside, for right implies wrong. I suspect your friends who counsel you not to ask Me for specific blessings or outcomes are also of the mindset that the days of miracles are either past, or never did exist in actuality. Theirs is a limited understanding of My Presence, My Being with all of My creation. It reflects a duality of thinking which says I am either a magic genie granting wishes willy-nilly, or a grand puppeteer and I do whatever I want to with what I own, aka all of creation. Neither is an accurate reflection of Who I Am.

When you approach Me from a rich, deep, broad understanding of I Am Love, and I Am Love Incarnate, Love Become Human, Love Enfolded In Flesh, then you can better understand the kind of relationship each person can have with that kind of Love. What would you ask a stranger for? What would you ask a best friend for? What would you ask a spouse for? What would you ask a parent for? Your answers vary, first, depending on the kind of relationship, and second, depending on the personality of the other. There are generous parents and stingy parents, parents who seek their children’s best and parents who are so wounded emotionally or so ill mentally that they cannot focus beyond their own selves. A child who grows up with that kind of parent will have a different relationship to the word “parent” than someone who grows up in a loving, safe, responsible home. A partner who lives with a loving, respectful, tender spouse will have a very different view of marriage than one who lives with an abusive, unfaithful or violent spouse. So much depends on the experience each human has with his or her most significant relationships. My Big Challenge — yes, I, God, have challenges too — is to approach each one of you on your own terms, at a pace that matches your own ability to receive. Think about your little feral kitty. She has come so far with you — yet she still startles and hisses at certain noises or sudden motions. You have learned what voice she responds to most, how to move slowly and easily so you don’t frighten her. And her capacity to love and trust increases as you approach her on her terms. But the other kitty, the one who has known nothing but love and safety, you can be much bolder with him, scooping him up in your arms while he purrs in delight!

Now imagine each kitty were magically given the gift of human speech. What do you think each one would ask you for? Would they ask the same things? Would they expect the same things? Or would their requests be colored by their prior experiences of life? You see? Neither would be “right” because this is not a question of right or wrong. This is a question of experience.

All that really matters is that you continue to model your best life in Me. That will tend to teach the skittish by your example that perhaps there is more depth to a relationship with Me than they have previously imagined.

Trust, Lord, it seems to be about trust.

Yes, and some will trust Me more simply because they trust you.

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Perfection Unmasked

Thanks, Lord, for a great opening day at Yellowhouse. We were busy, busy enough that it was a struggle at times to get needed tasks done. But I am glad we went ahead and opened. It’s funny, I could probably have made a weak case for getting open a week ago, and I could have made a strong case for waiting another week!  We just weren’t ready last week…and both of us felt it was time, although there are still tweaks to be made and inventory to price and put out. So this brings up a question inside: how do we ever really know we are “ready” — especially when change is involved? Change can be exciting or feel risky, adventurous or intimidating. Any new chapter can be all of that at once! So how do we know we are ready?

Define ready.

Uh, well, in this case, ready would mean having the space organized enough to both showcase what we are offering and safe enough to move around in. Ready also means having enough to offer…aha, okay, I want to talk about that part, I guess. “Having enough to offer.” I can look around a retail space and decide yes or no. But inside? In my soul? How do I know I am ready for a next chapter when it involves giving something of myself I may not have given before, or not to this extent? You can’t know until you go, right? But gosh, that seems either scary, or arrogant (to assume you are ready or capable when you are not), or in some cases maybe too restrictive–you might never go, thinking you were never ready!

One of the legacies of your school years is this sense that the only acceptable state is perfection. “Not to get an A is to fail.” This runs deeper in you than you know. It is one thing to try to do your best. It is another thing to adopt a core belief that “your best” requires perfect performance, perfect discernment, never making any mistakes or missteps– in short, you allow yourself no room to really grow, no room to try, because “trying” implies a willingness to stretch into something that is by definition not yet perfect, not yet finished, otherwise, you wouldn’t be trying, you would be “doing” or “achieving.” How many experiences have you denied yourself over this notion that you could not try? That you had to go from 0 to 60 in a nanosecond. That you had to reach the goal line on the opening drive of the game. The pressure you received from those years is enormous and instead of diminishing over time, it has grown into an internal monster that accuses you always, never letting you rest, never letting you breathe. That monster will kill you prematurely if you keep giving it quarter. You need to unmask it for the liar it is. You need to compare its voice to Mine. You need to say, clearly and firmly, my life is not being graded. I am loved for who I am, for the heart with which I embrace others, for my genuineness in relationships, for my collaborative (not competitive) spirit, for my generosity with both time and treasure, and for my stubborn allegiance to ways of peace. Eve, you are not failing. Not at anything.

God, I had no idea this still ran so deep. This…this sense, of having to always, always achieve. I am sitting here crying and I don’t know how to stop being who I am, who I’ve been.

I just told you, this isn’t who you are. This is who you were told to be, encouraged to be. It doesn’t mean you are a slacker. It doesn’t mean you are not committed, or passionate about what you do. It does mean you love to learn.

I do, Lord, I do.

I know you do. It also means you love to share, you don’t hold back information or tips or hints — you are so far from stingy, with everything. Look at you now, being willing to be vulnerable, putting this out there.

Yes, well, You told me to.

I told you that you had a choice. You can choose to keep anything we talk about private, and I will love you and cherish you no less.

But God, I can’t be the only one, struggling with this sense of self.

No, you are not.

So I guess that is why I am willing to share. What if somebody, somebody like me, reads this, and says, oh good grief, she is writing about me, she is talking about me. Then it is all worth it.

Why worth it? Why do you say that?

Because maybe that someone will get a breakthrough, will receive understanding, and be gentler with themselves.

And what about you? When do you get to be gentler with yourself?

I don’t know. I keep thinking, once everything is “done” — but everything is never really done. There is always more.

Like another paper to write in school, another quiz to prepare for, another exam you have to ace.

Yes! Yes, exactly.

You see, this thinking has overlaid your approach to all of life. And it is taking the fun out of life. Were your school days happy? Did you just love school? Did you thrive on the pressure?

No, actually, I was unhappy inside most of those years, until I began to form a relationship with You. Before that, the depression was pretty severe, although I think I hid it well enough. So what do I do now? What is my–Your–third way for this? Obviously, it isn’t a half-hearted, who cares, kind of attitude. I guess I need a new definition for “do your best.” I am trying to remember what You said to me before, about perfection. About be ye perfect as your Father in Heaven is perfect, which, let me just say, is absolutely perfect. I am just saying.

Be WHOLE. Be COMPLETE. Be your best self. Those are better translations. Not be stressed to the max, be stretched thin, be unrelenting in self-pressure. I never said the fruit of My Spirit is perfect performance, now did I?

No.

Love…joy…peace…patience…goodness…you already strive to add those to everything you do. Let Perfection go. It is not a Fruit I seek. Ripe and Perfect are NOT the same thing. Ripe is another word for “ready.” You can be full, full of love, and overflow. You can be full of joy. You can be full of patience and kindness and peace and goodness. Let Me fill you up with Myself, united with your self, your gifts, your heart, your personality. But let’s fine-tune this part of you that thinks I require a perfect life. I just want a real life. An honest life. A united life, with Me.

Can we talk about this some more? All of a sudden I am really tired.

Of course you are. This is a lot to grapple with, a lot to take in. You have acknowledged a major player in your own mind’s assessment of yourself. That is a necessary first step, for you to see how ingrained this is, and how damaging. Now we can work on this together from here. For tonight, rest. Rest in peace, and sleep in joy. Know that you have My complete love and delight, not because you are perfect, but because you are you.

Okay, Lord, thank You. I love You, Lord.

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A Time to Sleep

Lord, You’ve said I can ask You anything, tell You anything and everything, be with You in and through everything.

Yes?

So, I got nothing.

What do you mean by nothing?

Ha, somehow that reminds me of a line from e.e.cummings, what got him was nothing… but this isn’t that exactly. I think I am just tired, and tired of saying I’m just tired, and feeling like a stuck record, repeating the same worn few notes over and over. I’m tired, I’m tired. The more I say I am tired, the tireder I feel. But to say I have boundless energy! I have amazing stamina! sounds so fake, so false. So do I tell the truth and focus on what is wrong, or what is lacking, or do I lie and say everything is great, if it isn’t?

You are seeing in dualities again. You are confusing truth, reality, perception and your limited experience, and failing to see the third way.

The third way? There is a third way about fatigue?

Of course. The third way is a paradox, both/and instead of either/or. So you are thinking you need to say EITHER I am tired OR I am energized. Why don’t you think what would be a more truthful, and fuller truth statement?

I started the day feeling bleary, got some energy from somewhere but am very tired again now.

And what time is it now?

Almost bedtime.

And you think you should be overflowing with energy because…why exactly? If you had the boundless energy you wish you had, you would only work yourself to a more serious exhaustion. There is the daily tired of tasks done, energy expended, which only needs a good night’s sleep to restore. There is the deeper soul-tired, like the kind that comes with significant times of challenge, challenging relationships or work stress, or financial pressure, or a health issue, maybe even a crisis. You think you are soul-tired but really, your body is tired, your mind is tired, your eyes are tired, and all of that needs consistent good nights of sleep. That’s all. Your soul is not tired. Your soul knows its Source and truthfully, you are working as hard as you are precisely because your soul is not tired. Your soul is receiving enough energy to keep your body and spirit going. All you really need is several nights of truly good sleep. See, that thought made you smile. Your needs and wants really are quite modest. So why don’t you try a third way statement about how you feel?

Ok, how about this: Lord, thank You for today. We are busy, but I still managed to deal with some of the inventory. I was able to connect, even if only briefly, with several customers even though the day was busy overall. I know my body needs rest and refreshing in order to perform at peak. Or even just to stay healthy enough to perform at all. So I am tired tonight, but it is the fatigue that comes from lots of tasks done and the realization there is much more left to do. I am going to bed soon, so I would like to ask Your blessing on my resting, that my sleep might be truly restful, that my body and soul and spirit may each rest and replenish their energy. There. How’s that?

Better. That is honest, acknowledging the truth of how you feel and what you need. That is all I Am asking you to do in these focused times we have together. Be real, be honest, tell Me–which really means, acknowledging in your own hearing as You tell Me–how you feel, where you are, and ask Me to be with you in whatever state you find yourself. I Am there anyway, but I am limited in how I can help you without your cooperation and openness. So when you ask Me for hep, you are opening yourself to My input. That is where change and miracles happen, through your open door.  You know how you say to yourself, I am dog-tired? Think about your dog, how she sleeps, how she eats, how she greets you at the end of her long waiting day, how she plays when she is feeling well. Whatever she is doing, she is all-in. She is completely immersed in that activity. Your attempts to multi-task, even how you try to keep thinking work thoughts when you are supposed to be relaxing, is not helping you, it is actually hindering your ability to get things done. So when it is time to rest, rest. Rest with your whole body and your whole heart. Be like the animals are, and rest in confidence and trust, and see how much better you feel at the start of your day.

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Essence and Experience

Lord, yesterday we talked about light, Your Presence like light, like I am aware of light. But the light changes–I mean, sometimes it is a subtle glow as with fog, and sometimes it blazes; sometimes it is bluer and sometimes it is warmer and golden. But You–You don’t change, You are always the same.

The Nature, the Essence, of Light is not changing. But your perception and experience of that light is different depending on circumstances like atmospheric conditions, or your own angle of view relative to the source. So it is with Me. There are times your circumstances cry out for a Healer, for Jehovah-Rapha. There are seasons when you need Me more as Jehovah-Jireh, your Provider. And what about those times you need wisdom, or discernment, or guidance? Those aren’t simply things I give you, these are integral to Who I Am, to My Very Being. That is why they are among My Names, each one of which reveals a facet of My Nature as the Great I Am. Remember your old song, He I Am; all you need, I Am? Try singing that today, really soaking in the words. It will strengthen and encourage you.

Ok, Lord, thank You. I can recall the chorus but not the verses. I will have to go hunt that up. Thank You.

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Living in the Light

The other day You asked, do I think we are as close as we can be? I guess my answer is a combination of the possible answers–a question back to You, there is more? We can be closer? I can sense Your Ever-Presence more? Or, I can be more aware of You all throughout the day–like I am very aware of the light, glancing out the windows. I could, I know be more deliberately dialed-in. So I have been talking. Now I want to listen. Lord?

You have grown much. Now you are like a faucet, aware at moments that you are connected to Water, and you turn the knob and let My life within you flow. Then you get busy–or distracted–or irritated–or frustrated–or afraid–and without realizing it, you turn the faucet off, or down to a drip or a trickle. You do well to conserve water, but when it comes to My Presence, I want you to begin to think of your life more like a stream, not confined indoors. Ah, that surprised you!

You fill up vessels at a sink, give away cups of water to the thirsty. Imagine if you knew and lived from a stream mindset and invited folks to join you there, where you live in Me. Even if they are there only for a Moment. Here is Birdsong. Here is Deer and here is Fox. Here is your cabin, your retreat house. And here is a view of the Western Ocean. Everything you love and need to thrive is here. These are all metaphors of your life in Me–now try to overlay that template onto your daily tasks, your routine.

Lord, I look around the house, and it is a wreck. And taxes! I need to do taxes!! Please, please, please, can You, will You, help me?

Little One, don’t fret. Don’t panic. This Stream holds no danger. Think about that for a moment. No Fear Here. Not for your health, not for your finances, not for your relationships. Try living one day–this day–Streamside. See what happens. Then come back and report in here.

Ok, Lord, well, now it is evening and…I don’t think I did that today. I mean, I did not have a bad day. I got a lot done, which is equal to a good day, these days. Not everything of course, but a lot. But I wasn’t actively, consciously aware of You all day today, either. So there is more for me to learn, obviously. That was the whole point of Your instruction, wasn’t it?

This wasn’t a test; remember, I know everything about you. But this was a good way to teach you by experience the answer to the question I asked you, and you then asked Me: can I be closer? So what do you think is your answer now?

Yes, obviously yes. But I honestly don’t know how or where to start.

You don’t have to teach a baby to breathe, or to swallow. Those two things are inborn. Unfortunately, the awareness of My Presence used to be as integral to humans as your physical breath.

But I don’t think about breathing; I just breathe. Aren’t I supposed to be thinking about You every minute? Isn’t that what this means?

Go back to your analogy of the light. How do you know what the light is doing?

I look. I look up and out. I can sometimes feel the change, sometimes a minute or two before it happens, even. It’s a sense, I guess.

And do you go through your day chanting Light Light Light, must remember Light Light Light?

Ha, Lord, no, of course not!

So, you see, thinking is not the answer. Awareness is. Feeling is. Knowing is.

I don’t think I understand.

Ah, yes, at last! You don’t–and you won’t. But you will Know, and you will Feel. And that is what living more consciously in My Presence will be like–it will be exactly like how you live in and with light itself.

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The Heart of Lent

Lord, the other day someone I love told me, I am giving up guilt for Lent. I thought that was brilliant! I’ve had pastors in past years speak about releasing, letting go of habits or patterns of life that are not in line with Your love or our best values. And I have heard others talk about sacrifice and giving up something we love to undergo a fast in order to somehow make ourselves more attuned to You. And I have heard still others say, no, Lent is not for doing without, Lent is for adding to — adding in habits or patterns that actually help a person draw closer to You or be more loving in their earthly relationships. Lent is really an invention of humans, meant to prepare us for Easter. What would You say about Lent, about all these different ideas about how to mark it?

The different ideas really reflect different human personalities.

Well, how should we mark it then?

The important thing is not how you mark Lent, nor even how you celebrate Easter. The important thing is, in light of Christmas, in light of Easter, how do you live? How do you live the other 360-some days? How do you live the 360 degrees of your life’s round circuit of the year, when you are not celebrating these signature “holy days” like Christmas, Easter, Pentecost, and your national holidays of Thanksgiving and New Year’s? What about all the other days? Too many ramp up what they think of as holiness during Lent, or during Advent, only to return to what they think of as secular lives during the other weeks of the year. What I would prefer is that you think of all your days as secular AND sacred. Both/And. No day is so secular that I Am not present. No day is more sacred than another. Every day, every hour, is present to Me and you are present to Me and I to you, at every moment. It is that presence that makes every second sacred. And I call you to live a sacred, consecrated life, in the middle of a very human existence, in community, with family, with friends, at work, at play, in business. What I mean by a consecrated life is a life in which you fully show up to be present while simultaneously aware of your connection to My Presence. One foot on the soil and one hand in heaven, so to speak. And your heart connected to both. So to answer your question about Lent, what I would say is, do you feel you are the most connected to Me you can possibly be, or is there room for a closer, deeper relationship? If you answer the question, there is no way I can be closer than I am living now, one of two things is true: you are very close to your Homegoing, or there is more for you to understand and grow into. And if you answer, I know I can be closer, but I don’t know how, then Lent has served its purpose. For I Am here to draw you and reach to you and teach you how to live a human life with a heavenly heart, with a heart connected to heaven and earth.

You saw the heart reflected tonight on the water, and you wondered, how can this phenomenon be happening? And I told you then, this is a reflection of your heart. And inside, you doubted. You doubted not Me but yourself. You doubted you were hearing My voice.

And then what happened? Your friend sent you a timely message written by Richard Rohr about divine radiance, about our human hearts being attuned to that radiant Presence, and how you need to keep your lens clean and your heart pure in order to see God. And where were you as she was preparing to send you that message? Out in the world, walking at sunset, camera in hand, very attuned to nature, beaming your own love of the land and the birds out from your heart. And what did you receive in return? A radiant heart shining and shimmering on the water. This is your calling, in Lent, in Advent, in all the other “ordinary times” — see with the eyes of your heart. See as God sees. And remember that the lens God chooses to see through magnifies good, and diminishes evil by applying mercy and grace and forgiveness and a seventy-times-seven second chance. So by all means, keep walking. Keep seeing. Keep sharing. And keep loving.

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The Edge of Light

Lord, I have friends going through hard times, all kinds of hard times. It’s hard to know how to feel. I am not exactly lost, though I haven’t been in these exact woods before, watching them hurt, watching them struggle.  I can see out the window the dark edge of one tree trunk, sharply defining its distance, its separation, from the lighter trunk behind it. Two individuals, one silhouette. How can I not be an empath, not take on, others’ sadness?  How can I stay focused and affirming and happy when it seems like their worlds are falling apart?

By remembering I Am the Burden-Bearer. By shifting the weight of it onto Me. By remembering I died for times like this–and rose–rose to overcome sorrow and mourning, death itself. By receiving afresh the joy I mean for you to have, the connection. By embracing Light–even at midnight. By knowing dawn comes, is inevitable. By seeking Me for guidance about your rest and priorities. You cannot carry others; they are too heavy for you. You can only bring them to Me, as you have done, as you continue to do. And walk with them. While you are with them, you may have to slow your pace–but you are not with them 24/7. So the rest of the time you must give over to Joy. Skip! Dance! Laugh! You know how laughter heals–don’t let this become a wound in you. Increasingly you trust Me for blessing–don’t let that go now. Trust for yourself and trust for your friends. It is okay to weep for them–I wept, with Mary and Martha over Lazarus–but don’t stay stuck there, weeping.

Roll away the stone of your own grief and call to life anything that has died within you. Mourn that no more. Call it to resurrection. Jubilee is restoration. Think resurrection, too. So many dreams are coming true for you now; call them all to you. Call them all. There is nothing you can want that doesn’t please Me, for you please Me, and your desires and dreams are True. Begin to name them. Make them yours. Let this be prayer for you. You want healing for others? Sing it home, call it out.